Rear View Mirror

"God always looks better in the rear view mirror than in the windshield."

That's a quote I recently heard that I really like. I was reflecting on that as I was writing a future newsletter for my subscribers this morning (if you would like to receive this at no charge, you can sign up at www.bleedership.com).

This particular newsletter issue I'm working on deals with the pain we experience in our lives and how God promises that He will use it for good if we love Him and are called according to His purpose (see Romans 8:28).

The way I see it, God can turn our tough stuff into good in a lot of ways, but in this particular newsletter I'm focusing on two:

1. It can later be used to help others who are going through similar struggles
2. It can be used to make us better and to further develop our character making us more suitable for the job God has for us

We need to remember that God does not waste anything, especially our hurts.

We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5:3-4

Growth

A couple of weeks ago I posted about a 5 ton pile of dirt that I had dumped on my driveway. the reason I did this was to re-landscape an area in my front yard. The area above is the almost finished project. The only thing left is for the grass to fill-in completely.

When I planted the grass, I did everything I was told to do with it. I spread the seed. I fertilized. I raked it in lightly. I watered it several times per day (and it has rained like crazy this month!). Yet, after ten days, I saw nothing, not even a little sprout of green anywhere.

So, I called the place where I purchased the seed. I was told to give it a couple more days as the ground has been cooler than normal (I guess because of global warming--lol). So when I got home that evening, I looked again, and grass was coming up--yea!

Each day I look out there to check its progress. Most days it just seems like there is no change. But over the course of a week, the change is pretty drastic.

Much like the spiritual growth path we all are on. There are some days when it just seems like nothing is happening, or it seems like we are moving backward! But, if we continue to seek after God, over the course of time He is fertilizing and watering and before we know it, we are much further than we ever thought possible.

Humility

Saturday night, I had the privilege of attending the induction ceremony of the 2010 class into the Ohio Basketball Hall of Fame in Columbus. My college coach, Bob Nichols was inducted along with an incredible group of people.

The event was very well orchestrated and one thing in particular stuck out to me. Each inductee was given instructions that they were to keep their remarks to no longer than two to three minutes. When I heard this, my immediate thought was, Yea, like that's going to happen.

Well, it did. If I had to sum up this entire class of honorees with one word, it would be humility. It seemed that every person who gave remarks took less time than was allotted and they deflected the honor and praise toward their teammates, players, fans, family or friends. Maybe that is why they are now in the hall of fame.

The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but man is tested be the praise he receives.

Proverbs 27:21

Apology

Last week I posted about the importance of being slow to speak. In the post, I used a video clip of the Wood Brothers and their song, Loaded. I was highlighting a great lyric from the song, "Sometimes the tip of my tongue is the barrel of a gun, and it’s loaded."

Anyway, I had never heard of this group before Scott, a friend of mine, introduced them to me. In the post I made reference to the fact that this type of music makes me cringe.

Scott apparently thought that I was misguided so he brought over their CD for me to listen to. I have to admit, I was open to it but I didn't have high hopes. However, my mind has been changed. I actually liked it. I don't know that I would buy the CD just yet, but I have found myself singing some of the songs to myself this past week...pretty scary.

So, to Scott, and all you other Wood Brothers fans out there, I apologize for not speaking more highly of them. I have seen the light!

Spectator Sport

I heard it said recently that a college football game is 22 people desperately in need of rest being watched by 100,000 people who are desperately in need of exercise. Pretty much right on.

This is a very similar view of the Church also. Not your local church, but the big "C" Church, the body of Christ. We need to transform the Church from a spectator sport to a participatory sport.

Many times we look at one another and compare ourselves to them. We may wish that we had abilities like they had. We might feel that because they seem so much more talented than us that we can't do anything to add any value. This is not true. God has designed each of us with unique talents and abilities to fulfill the purpose He set out for us.

I am sure there have been people who have said, "I can't do what Billy Graham does." That may be true. However, if there weren't the thousands of volunteers and workers performing their tasks behind the scenes, none of Billy Graham's events would have happened. We all have gifts and abilities and they are all equally important. We each have a role to play.

So let's get in the game!

We have different gifts according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Romans 12:6-8

Judging Others

A friend of mine sent me the link to this commercial from Ameriquest...absolutely hilarious.

I used to live in this world in which I didn't want to share anything about me to anyone, especially if it involved my weaknesses. That changed radically for me when I became part of a weekly men's group which met to study the Bible and "do life together."

I was pretty uptight about the first meeting. However, I remember driving home and feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders because I was able to share some burdens that I had been carrying alone.

Anyway, the point of all this is that during the first year and a half in this group, every one of us (6-7 in the group) had experienced a major life issue in which the support of the group helped immensely. It was during this time that I had the realization that we are all messed up people, every one of us. That has helped me on two fronts: 1. to be more open with others and 2. to hopefully not be as quick to judge others.

While the above video is pretty funny, it is also a good reminder to us to not judge others too quickly, or preferably not at all!

"For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
Matthew 7:2

The Cost of Being Nice

At a Touchdown Club meeting many years before his death, Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant told the following story:

I had just been named the new head coach at Alabama and was off in my old car down in South Alabama recruiting a prospect who was supposed to have been a pretty good player and I was having trouble finding the place.

I spied an old cinder block building with a small sign out front that simply said "Restaurant." I went in and every head in the place turns to stare at me. A big ole man in a tee shirt and cap comes over and says, "What do you need?"

I told him I needed lunch and he says, "You probably won't like it here, today we're having chitlins, I'll bet you don't even know what chitlins are, do you?"

I looked him square in the eye and said, "I'm from Arkansas, I've probably eaten a mile of them. Sounds like I'm in the right place."They served me up a big plate. When he comes back he says, "You ain't from around here then?" I explain I'm the new football coach up in Tuscaloosa at the University and I'm here to find whatever that boy's name was and he says, yeah I've heard of him, he's supposed to be pretty good. And he gives me directions to the school so I can meet him and his coach.

As I'm paying up to leave, I remember my manners and leave a tip, not too big to be flashy, but a good one and he told me lunch was on him, but I told him for a lunch that good, I felt I should pay. The big man asked me if I had a photograph or something he could hang up to show I'd been there. I was so new that I didn't have any yet. It really wasn't that big a thing back then to be asked for, but I took a napkin and wrote his name and address on it and told him I'd get him one. I met the kid I was looking for later that afternoon and I don't remember his name, but do remember I didn't think much of him when I met him.

I had wasted a day, or so I thought. When I got back to Tuscaloosa late that night, I took that napkin from my shirt pocket and put it under my keys so I wouldn't forget it. Back then I was excited that anybody would want a picture of me. The next day we found a picture and I wrote on it, "Thanks for the best lunch I've ever had."

Now, let's go a whole bunch a years down the road. I'm back down in that part of the country scouting an offensive lineman we sure needed. He's got two friends going to Auburn and he tells me he's got his heart set on Auburn too, so I leave empty handed and go on see some others while I'm down there.

Two days later, I'm in my office in Tuscaloosa and the phone rings and it's this kid who just turned me down, and he says, "Coach, do you still want me at Alabama?" And I said, "Yes I sure do." And he says OK, he'll come.

And I say, "Well son, what changed your mind?" And he said, "When my grandpa found out that I had a chance to play for you and said no, he pitched a fit and told me I wasn't going nowhere but Alabama, and wasn't playing for nobody but you. He thinks a lot of you and has ever since y'all met." Well, I didn't know his granddad from Adam's housecat so I asked him who his granddaddy was and he said, "You probably don't remember him, but you ate in his restaurant your first year at Alabama and you sent him a picture that he's had hung in that place ever since. That picture's his pride and joy and he still tells everybody about the day that Bear Bryant came in and had chitlins with him...”

"My grandpa said that when you left there, he never expected you to remember him or to send him that picture, but you kept your word to him and to Grandpa, that's everything. He said you could teach me more than football and I had to play for a man like you, so I guess I'm going to." I was floored.

But I learned the lesson that it don't cost nuthin' to be nice. It don't cost nuthin' to do the right thing most of the time, and it costs a lot to lose your good name by breaking your word to someone. When I went back to sign that boy, I looked up his Grandpa and he's still running that place, but it looks a lot better now; and he didn't have chitlins that day, but I made sure I posed for a lot of pictures. I made it clear to all my assistants to keep this story and these lessons in mind when they're out on the road. If you don’t remember anything else from me, remember this. It really doesn't cost anything to be nice, and the rewards can be unimaginable. ~

Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant

Isolation

Right now, my wife and I have three friends who are going through really rough situations. They are all dealing with addictions of different sorts and all are causing incredible damage to themselves and to their family members. It is quite sad to see it unfold.

Two of our friends know Scripture as well as, or better than most people I know. Yet, they have chosen to go down this path during this season of their lives.

Though they are all different situations, there is one similarity which stands out. Each of these people have pulled away from their community prior to this change in their lives. In the past, they were each part of a small group in their church and for whatever reason they stopped being involved.

I am a big proponent of "doing life together." I have seen the fruit of this over the past year and a half in Truth at Work for business leaders as well as over the past six years in the men's group and couples group I am a part of.

This has really hit me right in my heart and given me what I hope is a healthy dose of fear. It has shown me that none of us is infallible. We can all go the wrong direction and, in fact, our human-ness desires that. That is why it is so important for us to surround ourselves with others who can encourage us, challenge us, help us, hold us accountable and love us where we are.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:25

Slow to Speak

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
Abraham Lincoln

To be honest, the music played in the above video makes me cringe...it's just not my type of music. In fact, prior to last week I had never heard of the Wood Brothers. I don't know, maybe I haven't heard enough...

A friend of mine, though, shared with me a lyric in this song and I think it's fantastic, "Sometimes the tip of my tongue is the barrel of a gun, and it’s loaded."

And so true for so many of us.

Have you ever said something you wish you could take back? Sure you have.

Will you join me in practicing what God's word clearly tells us to do and be slow to speak? Maybe we can even make an effort to take things to God before we speak them...now there's a novel idea!

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord;
keep watch over the door of my lips.
Psalm 141:3

Amish Work Ethic

I read something very interesting the other day from Verne Harnish regarding start-up businesses. Most of us have heard that less than 50% of all businesses survive their first five years. But did you know that the survival rate of all Amish-owned businesses is an incredible 95%? It's true.

Check out the above short video. Perhaps they're on to something with this penchant for hard work, staying lean, remaining focused on what they do best and remaining humble. Do you think there's something in there for us?

Devoted to Mom

Yesterday, as I walked down the hall, this is the above is what I saw. It is our grand-puppy, Tysen. On the other side of the door was his "mommy," my daughter, Kristin, who was taking a shower.

Tysen couldn't wait for her to be done so he could show her how much he loved her (or so she could feed him!).

I thought this was a great reminder about how we can be devoted to our own mothers.

Let's make this Mother's Day a great one for our moms! And if you are a mom, Happy Mother's Day!

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."

Exodus 20:12

Pile of Dirt

Yesterday I had four cubic yards of topsoil dumped on my driveway. That equates to about five tons of dirt. The reason? I had this crazy landscaping idea that everyone in my family thought was nuts. After my first wheelbarrow full of soil, I began to share their opinion.

Monday evening I began this process. After several loads had been moved via wheelbarrow, it seemed like we weren't even putting a dent in the pile. I was beginning to wonder if we would ever get done. I really wanted to give up because it seemed hopeless. Yet, shovel full after shovel full, wheelbarrow full after wheelbarrow full, we finished late this afternoon. In all, it really didn't take as long as I thought, but at first the task seemed daunting. (And by the way, everyone loves how it turned out!)

In the midst of my perspiration producing and back breaking labor (don't you feel sorry for me?), I was thinking of how similar this project is to life. There are things in my life that I know God is working on in me. At times those projects seem so impossible, the goal so unattainable, that I just want to give up. I think, "There's no way I can change." Yet, God is not concerned. Shovel full after shovel full, God refines me. He is never in a hurry.

So even if there is more dirt on your driveway than clean areas, let the Master Gardener do His job one shovel full at a time. Before you know it, your pile of dirt will be gone.

Soaking in the Son

Yesterday afternoon I was watching the show Life (on Discovery Channel) with my oldest daughter and my wife. The show was focused on reptiles and amphibians and it was fascinating. I found myself continually astonished at how they captured the incredibly detailed video footage. Quite amazing.

At one point during the hour-long show, the narrator, when describing a sun-bathing lizard, said, "Reptiles are cold blooded so they must warm themselves in the sun because a cold reptile is a slow moving reptile." Without this renewed vigor from the sun's rays, they could be in danger from their predators.

You know, the same is true of us. Though not hawks or snakes, we, too, have predators. And we, too, need to spend time in the Son in order to be rejuvenated and protected.

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed.

Mark 1:35