Managing Disappointment

As a father, I find it difficult to see my children disappointed. But I know that there are times in which me withholding something from him, which causes disappointment, is in his best interest.

My son is going through a season right now in which he would like to play video games 24/7. When he does this for any length of time, he becomes a different person...very lethargic and not fun to be around.

I have imposed stricter limits on his video game time as well as TV time this summer. To say he is disappointed is an understatement.

Although he is not happy, I believe that he knows this is for his own good...that his dad knows what is in his best interests. He has been reading more and he has been outside a little more, which he knows is good. He also has been feeling better about himself. But, he still is not 100% happy about this.

I think the same is true of us in life. We sometimes are not happy with the hand we are dealt. We can be disappointed. Yet, when we fully realize that we have a heavenly Father who loves us deeply and wants what's best for us, this can be a very freeing place to be. When we know that God will withhold things from us for our own good or will allow us to go through certain challenges to strengthen us, we can then rejoice no matter how disappointed we are.

Max Lucado had this to say from his book Let the Journey Begin:God's Roadmap for New Beginnings:

Don't ask God to do what you want. Ask God to do what is right.

When God doesn't do what we want, it's not easy. Never has been. Never will be. But faith is the conviction that God knows more than we do about this life and he will get us through it.
Disappointment is cured by revamped expectations.

I like that story about the fellow who went to the pet store in search of a singing parakeet. Seems he was a bachelor and his house was too quiet. The store owner had just the bird for him, so the man bought it. The next day the bachelor came home from work to a house full of music. He went to the cage to feed the bird and noticed for the first time that the parakeet had only one leg.

He felt cheated that he'd been sold a one-legged bird, so he called and complained.

"What do you want," the store owner responded, "a bird who can sing or a bird who can dance?"

Good question for times of disappointment.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

It's All A Matter Of Perspective

A couple of days ago in a post titled Rejoice When?, I shared about a cat of ours who seems to have a good time regardless of his circumstances. I related this to the apostle Paul who instructed us to rejoice always, even if things aren't going our way.

As I was working out in our basement this morning I was thinking about this same cat of ours. He had gotten locked in the basement on Sunday for at least a few hours. When we found him, he was lying on our ping pong table as content as could be...not worried, not stressing but simply relaxing. It was as if he was saying, "Hi guys. Hey, could you keep it down? I'm trying to take a nap."

This got me thinking about my post from last week. I was taken to a comment that was left by Michelle Corbett who said this:

I wonder if I could write a blog post about what I learn from my cat breaking absolutely everything valuable in my house (from spilling water on my laptop to busting the table and making a special lamp fall to the ground). Yesterday I came home to her standing in a pile of curtains she had pulled to the ground. Hmmmm. I'll have to think about this. ( :

I responded with a comment saying that I would find it hard to rejoice if that happened to me also. But this morning something was not sitting right with me about my response.

Paul wrote his words about "rejoicing always" while he was locked in a cold, grimy prison cell. I know he would have found a way to rejoice had his cat done this to his house, but how?

I came to the conclusion that Paul probably would have responded in this way:

"Oh, you darn cat! Oh well, I am so thankful I have a laptop that could have water spilled on it. I am so thankful to have curtains my cat can tear down. Thank you Lord for the house I have that I get to clean up!"

As tough as we might think this is to respond like this, when you really think about it, it's really only a matter of perspective.

Rejoice When?

The other morning as I was eating breakfast, one of our two cats (the one on the left in picture above) was happily playing in our kitchen. I thought he was playing with one of his toy mice that is filled with catnip. However, upon further review, I noticed he was actually playing with a crumpled up piece of notebook paper. His mice must have been under our refrigerator...again! (This reminded me of when my kids were younger. They actually seemed to have more fun with the boxes at Christmas time than they did with the actual gifts!)

Believe it or not, I immediately thought of the apostle Paul. While in prison he wrote an amazing letter to the Philippians in which he said:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (Philippians 4:4)

My cat could have pouted when he couldn't find a mouse to play with. However, he made the best of the situation and, from where I was sitting, he was having a blast.

How often do we, when faced with the same circumstances as my cat (our paycheck isn't what we would like, we are looking for work, our spouse isn't treating us as well, etc...), pout and complain and make ourselves miserable? How often do we miss golden opportunities because of our bad attitude?

In the above verse, Paul says to rejoice always, not just when things are going great. Hard to do, but very freeing when we can get our arms around this! At least it has been for me the few times I have gotten this.

Thankfulness In All Circumstances

I just had breakfast with a friend of mine. He and I act as accountability partners to one another. I help him to stay on track in life and he does the same to me.

He happens to be in a difficult season at work right now. He is having to travel pretty much every week for about a 3 month stretch. This is putting an increasing strain on his marriage and family life at home.

I have been there. It is very difficult to travel like that...it is exhausting because you have to be "on" all the time as you are with clients for much of the day. Then it is back to the hotel to catch up on work that needs done. Then it's back up the next morning to do it again. When there is tension at home it makes it that much more difficult.

What he said to me this morning was, "I am just very thankful I have this job and I am going to do the best I can and trust God that He is going to bless me and my family through this."

That is a great attitude.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

A New Perspective

For years my favorite movie has been It's a Wonderful Life. We watched this in our house on Saturday. Actually we do this every year. Really, my family does this for me, because they know I love it so much. They also like to watch me cry at the end.

I suppose I love this movie because one of the main themes of the film is that we all make a difference in the lives of others, even if we don't realize it. In other words, we all have a purpose.

In the movie, George Bailey (played by Jimmy Stewart) is a depressed, frustrated young business man who is never able to chase his dreams. He feels trapped and feels that his life is a waste. When he finds out that his company (a savings and loan) is short a large sum of money (due to an error on his uncle's part), he realizes that he would be better off dead than alive. His life insurance money would more than cover the deficit.

Clarence, George's guardian angel visits him and shows George what life would be like had he not been born. It takes George a little while before he realizes he truly has had a wonderful life and that others have been greatly impacted because of his presence in their lives. He realizes the truth of his situation and he decides he wants to live again regardless of the circumstances.

God hears that prayer and he rushes home to find the bank examiner and the police waiting for him to arrest him. He says to the policeman, a friend of his, "And I'll bet that's a warrant for my arrest, isn't that wonderful!"

This reminded me of the apostle Paul who, while in prison, told us to "Rejoice in the Lord always! I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4)

How could he say that while in prison? Because he had a new perspective. Just like George Bailey, he was shown what was truly important. As a result, his tough circumstances didn't really matter.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Philippians 4:11