Words in Anger

As some of you may be aware, I lead four monthly round-table groups of Christian business and ministry leaders in the Toledo area. The purpose of these gatherings is to help each of our members (usually 12-15 in a group) to grow their organizations in a God-honoring way, while at the same time helping them to grow personally and spiritually. The name of this ministry is Truth at Work.

Each of these sessions is four hours long and, though I am the facilitator, I receive so much from these times together--I truly feel like the most blessed person on this planet that I get to do this. This morning's meeting was no exception.

One of our members in today's meeting shared a line which I thought was great. She said, "Whenever I get angry, I try to just leave the room because I have never said anything when I was angry in which I later said to myself, 'Wow, that was brilliant. I am so glad I just said that!'"

You know what? I can say the same exact thing in my life. It seems that when I am angry is when I say the things I regret the most. Perhaps I need to follow this person's advice when I'm angry and just leave before I say anything I might regret. I guess my mom was right all along when she used to tell me, "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all."

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Proverbs 29:11

Airline Hero?

Many of you have probably seen the story about Steven Slater (pictured above), JetBlue's flight attendant who has become very well-known recently. It seems that Mr. Slater got into a confrontation with a passenger and got on the plane's PA system and gave a profanity-laced announcement before saying, "I've had it!" He then grabbed a beer from the galley, then activated the emergency slide and slid down onto the runway.

Slater has become an internet hero as many are marveling at how he has stood up to corporate America and basically said, "take this job and shove it." My guess is that many are holding him up because they wish they could do the same thing in their jobs.

The fact that so many are calling him a hero is appalling to me. Heroes are people to be emulated. His actions, in my mind, should NOT be emulated by anyone!

Granted, the passenger was probably rude and out of line and that is uncalled for. And I admit that I don't get this right all the time; however, Slater is an employee of the airline who pays him to do his job, which includes dealing with unruly passengers. The bottom line is that his actions were very irresponsible and could have even been deadly. According to prosecutors, activating the emergency slide could have killed unsuspecting ground personnel had they been nearby.

A friend of mine once asked me, "If someone spits on you, does that make you mad?"

I responded, "Of course."

He said, "No it doesn't. It makes you wet. It is your choice to be mad." He had me...he was right. We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control how we respond. Unfortunately, Steven Slater did not respond appropriately, but because of his new-found notoriety, many may believe he did.

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Proverbs 29:11

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk...or Cereal

God has a great sense of humor, so great it makes me cringe sometimes. This morning was one of those times.

I had just spent some nice time with God and part of that time was contemplating a particular verse in James. James 1:19b had this to say to me this morning:

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

I read that and thought that God was trying to tell me that I needed to not speak so much...that it was OK if I didn't get my point across all the time.

Then I came upstairs to find my son eating breakfast before leaving for school. He said, "Dad, I spilled the cereal." He had literally poured more Cheerios outside of his bowl than what had ended up in the bowl and it was not only on the counter but all over the floor.

And because mercy is not one of my spiritual gifts, I responded with, "So what are you going to do about it?"

Robbie said, "But dad, if I clean this up I'll miss the bus!"

Having an early morning meeting today, I didn't feel I had much time, but I said, "OK, I'll help you. You keep eating and between bites and I want you to pick up the Cheerios on the floor while I clean the counter."

So he began doing this. When he had a handful he started to put it back in the bag. I said, "No Robbie, throw those in the sink." So he did, or at least attempted to. He tried to throw them in the sink from where he was standing which was about 10 feet away. Needless to say, the Cheerios he had just picked up went everywhere but in the sink. Ughhh!

I guess God was trying to tell me He wanted to work on something else in me, my anger. I believe I did a decent, but not great, job of masking my anger. I didn't scream or yell, but I'm sure if you asked Robbie, he would tell you that he knew I was angered.

Sure, this disappoints me. But thankfully, I'm growing in this area and I'm not who I used to be.

Road Rage

I just read a disturbing article about a pizza delivery man in Houston who was assaulted by another driver and killed - apparently due to road rage. Very sad.

While this is very extreme, it can be a reminder to us that when things make us angry today...

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

Angry Horn

I was outside doing yard work this weekend when I heard 4 successive blasts from a car horn. Then I heard 5 more. It's weird, but I could tell there was anger behind the horn blasts. It wasn't a friendly "beep beep" but rather a "honk, honk, honk, honk!"

My next door neighbor's daughter was being picked up by her mother. They are divorced and she gets her daughter on certain weekends. Apparently she wasn't very happy.

I got to thinking about all the ways we communicate. If we can communicate how we're feeling through our car horn, how much more do you think we communicate through our facial expressions or our mannerisms.

One of my family's favorite movies is Disney's Toy Story. In one scene Mrs. Potato Head tells Mr. Potato Head to make sure not to forget his angry eyes. Don't we all have angry eyes?

The Bible tells us throughout to be an encouragement to others. Let's do that not only through our words but also through our non-verbals.