Asking For Conflict

I read an article recently about a business owner named Sean Perich who started a business (Bakery Barn) five years ago that is now booming. The same management team has been in place over that time span, but he is now discovering that may be a problem.

"At a certain point, guts and hard work stop paying dividends," Perich admits. He says he now finds himself suffering from "good idea-itis"—a problem when none of his managers or directors were willing to curb his enthusiasm. "If I say, 'Let's spend time developing protein drinks,' they say, 'Great'—they won't question me," Perich says. He worries that time spent developing products like protein drinks and savory snacks has been a distraction—that perhaps Bakery Barn has strayed too far from what it does best: baking protein cookies.

What he is asking for is conflict. Not a fight, but someone to stand up to him, to challenge him, to hold him accountable and to help him be better. It takes someone who is pretty secure to admit this. He is a wise leader who knows his limitations and is looking for others to complete him, to make him better. (Go here to read the entire story).

When I evaluate myself, I feel I do OK at this in some areas of my life, but in other areas I don't do so hot--like at home. How are you at this?

Winning the Battle but Losing the War

On leading blog, the following insight was shared about knowing when to not press your position:

In Pearls of Wisdom, Joyce Brothers wrote, “There is a rule in sailing where the more maneuverable ship should give way to the less maneuverable craft. I think this is sometimes a good rule to follow in human relationships as well.” Relationships are what leadership is all about. As the leader we are the more maneuverable ship. Being immovable or stubborn, just because we are right, doesn’t move us closer to our goal. It is up to us to step back, bend, or give way and let the other person pass. Later we might try a different tack if it is really that important to make the point. Hitting a difficult person head on is rarely the appropriate action.

When we come up against conflict, we must ask ourselves if winning this one is really that important. How will winning affect my ability to work with this person? What is motivating me to win? We don’t need to fight every battle. We should choose battles that in the final analysis will strengthen our relationships and improve our effectiveness.

How true - and how difficult this is! As leaders, lets agree to work on this in our workplace - and in our homes!

Managing Conflict and Mount Everest

Steve Kroenig, a freelance writer for Success Magazine compared dealing with conflict in your marriage with climbing Mount Everest. The same things can also hold true with dealing with conflict in our workplace.

Did you know that climbers attempting to scale Mount Everest will sometimes climb down the mountain a little ways? Why on earth would you ever backtrack when you’re climbing the tallest mountain in the world? The answer might give you some insight into the struggles you face in your marriage.

According to Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage, “Mountain climbers will often step back from a particularly difficult overhang or stretch and discuss how to surmount it. Much of the fun in the sport is encountering the challenges and figuring out a way to get around them. If mountain climbing were easy, it would lose a great deal of its appeal.”

The same could be said of marriage. If it were too easy, many of us would lose interest. In fact, many people have affairs when their marriages stay boring for too long. While conflict is typically the result of sin – and not something to be desired – God can use conflict to challenge our character and grow us spiritually.

Thomas says, “Struggling successfully and profitably brings a deeper joy than even trouble-free living…. God created us in such a way that we need to struggle to stay alive. Challenge is what keeps us seasoned. But to be profitable, our struggle must have purpose, and it must be productive. Two people who do nothing but fight in their marriage and make each other miserable are not engaging in a helpful spiritual exercise. It’s only when we put struggle within the Christian context of character development and self-sacrifice that it becomes profitable.”

The next time you have a fight with your spouse, think about how God can use the conflict to deepen your character and walk with the Lord. “Instead of immediately thinking about how [you] can take a helicopter to the top, [you] might take a climber’s approach and think, “This is really tough. This is a challenge, no doubt about it. How do I keep loving this person in the face of this challenge?”

Managing Conflict and Mount Everest

Steve Kroenig, a freelance writer for Success Magazine compared dealing with conflict in your marriage with climbing Mount Everest. The same things can also hold true with dealing with conflict in our workplace.

Did you know that climbers attempting to scale Mount Everest will sometimes climb down the mountain a little ways? Why on earth would you ever backtrack when you’re climbing the tallest mountain in the world? The answer might give you some insight into the struggles you face in your marriage.

According to Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage, “Mountain climbers will often step back from a particularly difficult overhang or stretch and discuss how to surmount it. Much of the fun in the sport is encountering the challenges and figuring out a way to get around them. If mountain climbing were easy, it would lose a great deal of its appeal.”

The same could be said of marriage. If it were too easy, many of us would lose interest. In fact, many people have affairs when their marriages stay boring for too long. While conflict is typically the result of sin – and not something to be desired – God can use conflict to challenge our character and grow us spiritually.

Thomas says, “Struggling successfully and profitably brings a deeper joy than even trouble-free living…. God created us in such a way that we need to struggle to stay alive. Challenge is what keeps us seasoned. But to be profitable, our struggle must have purpose, and it must be productive. Two people who do nothing but fight in their marriage and make each other miserable are not engaging in a helpful spiritual exercise. It’s only when we put struggle within the Christian context of character development and self-sacrifice that it becomes profitable.”

The next time you have a fight with your spouse, think about how God can use the conflict to deepen your character and walk with the Lord. “Instead of immediately thinking about how [you] can take a helicopter to the top, [you] might take a climber’s approach and think, “This is really tough. This is a challenge, no doubt about it. How do I keep loving this person in the face of this challenge?”