47 - 4

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I coach my son's 5th & 6th grade basketball team. We played a game this afternoon against a team that is loaded with talent. We played hard but they were able to squeek out a win against us, 47 - 4.

That sounds pretty bad, but when you compare it to our first game against them when they beat us 54 - 8, it doesn't look quite so bad.

When I was watching the game from the sidelines, I was watching the skill level of the players on the other team versus ours. There was not even a comparison. The coaching on our team was probably lacking too! But when you are on the sidelines helplessly watching your team get thrashed, it is very humbling and very difficult. I know I need that from time to time (unfortunately more often than not), but it is very difficult to watch our kids get discouraged.

Nevertheless, our kids played hard and did manage to have fun. I am proud of them. They are all great kids! I am also happy for the other team, as they seem like great kids also--very talented, great kids.

One interesting thing happened after the game. I talked with one of the other two coaches and congratulated him. He sheepishly accepted it and said something like, "I'm sorry." He felt bad that we had to go through that. He said, "We just got the luck of the draw on players." Classy comment.

Then on my way out, I was talking with their other coach. I said, "Great game coach! You have some really good players on your team!"

He said, "Well, I like to think it has a little to do with coaching too."

Unfortunately, that comment left a bitter taste in my mouth. However, it was a great reminder to me about the importance of being humble.

Leadership With Integrity

Last night I led a session at our church on "Leadership With Integrity" among other topics. At the close of our time together we broke up into small groups to discuss the impact of leading with integrity and without.

One of the groups made an interesting observation. They said that in each of the situations they had experienced where a boss led with integrity, good people were attracted to their organization. In the cases where the leader did not have integrity, good people left.

It reminded me of a comment I heard at a leadership conference I attended last year. The speaker said something like this, "Healthy organizations will attract healthy people and unhealthy people will want to leave. Unhealthy organizations will attract unhealthy people and healthy people will want to leave."

How true this is.

As the group mentioned last night, one of the best ways to have a healthy organization, whether it be a family, business or church group, is to lead with integrity and by example!

Herding Cats

Click here to watch video.

I coach my son's 5th and 6th grade basketball team at our local YMCA. Last night was one of our practices and it was one I would like to forget.

Normally practices and games are fun, but ocassionally it is like herding cats. Last night was one of those nights.

Our team is not very good. We have a lot of good kids, but not a lot of basketball experience. All I ask of them is that they support and respect one another, listen and play as hard as they can. Unfortunately last night, not one of those things happened. Kids were bickering with each other, pushing each other, complaining that teammates won't pass them the ball...and most of this was going on when I was trying to teach them something.

I admit it, I was frustrated. There is a verse in the Bible which instructs fathers not to exasperate their children (Ephesians 6:4). I was wondering why there isn't a verse about teams not exasperating your coach.

I suppose God knows that we as parents or coaches (or leaders of any kind) are adults and need to set the example for our kids (or those we lead). We need to let the peace of God show in our lives. We need to lead by example. I failed last night but hopefully I learned something.

How Is Your Atmosphere?

I am a big believer that each of us can have a positive impact on others, regardless of the circumstances. As a result of that belief, I really liked what Chip Lutz of Fun Squad wrote:

Each team member impacts the culture of an organization (positively or negatively) because emotions pass from person to person. Fifteen years ago, I was working for a particularly mean-spirited manager. He would spend his days yelling, stomping and publicly chastising me (and I was a work horse!). Although he looked at this as a type of training, I looked at it as his way of unfairly wielding his power. We had worked together a little over a year and, as I was moving to a different job, he said, "Chip, I'm really going to miss you - you're more than a worker, you're an atmosphere." Obviously, his words took me by surprise. Not only did I think this manager despised me, I also thought he spent his evenings devising new ways to humiliate me. As time passed, I reflected on his words and came to the conclusion that, "He's right, I am an atmosphere!" I tried to impact the people around me in a positive manner, find a way to smile or find the "funny thing" in a difficult situation, and give a positive spin on what looked like negative circumstances - which lifted the spirits of my co-workers (even the negative manager). But there are two kinds of atmospheres - carriers and converters. Which kind of atmosphere are you?

Carriers

Carriers clutch onto their negativity and infect, just like the plague, each person they meet in the organization. If they are having a bad day, they are not happy unless they infect you with their problems (in an effort to ensure your day goes as badly as theirs). This transfer of negativity by the carrier must be satisfying to the carrier. So satisfying, in fact, that they are not content until they have contaminated everyone in their workspace. I am sure you are familiar with this person (or people). Everything can be absolutely fabulous in their life, but they take the one negative and spend 20 minutes telling you how awful they feel because of it. When they are done, you are drained and feel terrible! Yes, you have been infected! This disease is highly contagious and has the potential to spread from person to person quickly. It affects workplace productivity, creativity, teamwork, and morale. What's the vaccination for the disease? Being a converter!

Converters

Converters are organizational "rays of sunshine" and they do just that! They illuminate the workspace! Converters are skilled in the transformation of negatives into positives. You may think that nothing ever goes wrong for the converter because you rarely hear about it. If they do speak of it, it is quickly spun into something positive that can be learned from or built upon for the greater good. Unlike carriers, converters help to boost morale, productivity, creativity and teamwork. Do you want the best news? Even if you don't "naturally" have a converter attitude, it's something that can be developed. Here are several approaches to help you convert to being a converter:

Smile - it's amazing how something so simple can help to change your disposition.

Laugh - get a "humor buddy," that person that makes you laugh when there's nothing to laugh about. This person already knows the secret to being a converter. If converters are in short supply, subscribe to a daily joke email list or call me (I'll be happy to help).

Contribute - take the focus off yourself and do something nice for someone else.

Play - do something that you liked doing as a child (sledding, biking, building with Legos).

Have fun!

No matter what your vocation, being a converter will catapult you to the forefront. If your current environment at work is change resistant, negative, unproductive, and you dread going to work, YOU can make the difference. Renovate the atmosphere with your converter attitude. There are no tools required. All that's necessary are the words "can" and "will." Your attitude indicates that you "can" and your actions indicate that you "will." Be a converter! The light you shine will illuminate the darkest organization!

"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see

your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Matthew 5:16

The Power of Habits

Here is something interesting I came across regarding habits:

I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest asset or heaviest burden.
I will push you up to success or down to disappointment.
I am at your command.
Half the things you do might just as well be turned over to me,
For I can do them quickly, correctly, and profitably.
I am easily managed; just be firm with me.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with the precision of a machine
and the intelligence of a person.
You can run me for profit, or you can run me for ruin.
Show me how you want it done. Educate me. Train me.
Lead me. Reward me.
And I will then...do it automatically.
I am your servant.
Who am I?
I am a habit.

What do you think of when it comes to habit? If you are like me you immediately get a twinge in your gut and think about the bad habits you have. But as the above text says, habits can be good as well.

Sometimes when we get bogged down in the details of life we can think that making a small change here and there won't amount to much. But developing good habits can be very powerful and can lead to great things.

If you have a bad habit you would like to change into a good habit, remember what English novelist, Charles Reade once said: “Sow a thought, and you reap an act; Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny.”

The Bucket List

Yesterday afternoon I did something out of character for me. I laid down my work and took my wife to a movie for Valentines Day. Nothing major for most people, yet it made a positive impression on my bride.

We saw The Bucket List which we thought was very good. There were some things we wished were not in the movie, yet they did get a good part of it right, even a discussion about faith.

But what stands out to me is what Connie said to me on the way home. She said, "Thanks for the date! It's not the movie that matters, it's that you gave up your time to be with me. Thank you."

Wow. That made me realize that I have not been treating her as the most important person on this earth to me. I have let my task list get in the way far too often.

I have just created my own bucket list. At the top is "Spend time with those who are most important to me and make that a priority." I probably will not always succeed at this, yet I am going to truly work on it. Perhaps I won't wait until next Valentines Day to kidnap my wife on a workday!

Patience

So how is your patience?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Communication

I recently read something from John Maxwell regarding communication. I thought it was so good, I thought I'd share it here:

COMMUNICATION – A LEADER’S KEY TO SUCCESS
By Dr. John C. Maxwell

For my whole life, I have opened my car door by inserting a metal key into a physical lock. Now, I can unlock the doors and start the car at the push of a button. It seems like magic to me, but it’s actually a simple application of science.

Keyless entry and keyless ignition are made possible when a transmitter within your key fob communicates with a radio receiver inside the car. Two conditions are necessary for this communication to take place: 1) the transmitter must be set to the same frequency as the receiver, and 2) the transmitter must send a uniquely coded message which the receiver has been programmed in advance to recognize.

Communication acts as a leader’s “keyless entry” into relationships. It can open the mind of an employer, the wallet of investors, and the hearts of loved ones. Talented communicators seem magical when they weave their words together. However, much like the concept of keyless entry, great communication depends on two simple skills—context and delivery. Context attunes a leader to the same frequency as his or her audience. Delivery allows a leader to phrase messages in a language the audience can understand.

As we explore context and delivery, we’ll draw upon Steven K. Scott’s book, The Richest Man Who Ever Lived. In the book, Scott offers commentary on the words of King Solomon, the wealthiest man in history. Renowned for his wisdom, Solomon writings are filled with advice about effective communication.

CONTEXT

Listen before Speaking
“He that answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame unto him.” ~ Proverbs 18:13

Earn the right to be heard by listening to others. Seek to understand a situation before making judgments about it. As the Greek philosopher, Epictetus, observed, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

Understand Human Nature
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” ~ Proverbs 12:18
Words are powerful, and they can build up or tear down those who hear them. Regardless of your audience or avenue of communication, the following principles enable you to communicate constructively.

People are insecure. Leaders can bestow confidence by demonstrating their trust and belief in a person’s abilities. People want to feel special. Leaders win a loyal following when they are generous with compliments and acts of appreciation. People are looking for a better future. Leaders inspire through an optimistic outlook and words of hope. People are selfish. Leaders learn to motivate when they begin speaking to the needs of their people.

Be Emotionally Aware
“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day…is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” ~ Proverbs 25:20

Communicating within context involves taking the emotional temperature of others. Pay attention to facial expressions, voice inflection, and posture. They give clues to a person’s mood and attitude.

DELIVERY

Adopt an Appropriate Tone
“A soft answer turns away wrath but grievous words stir up anger.” ~ Proverbs 15:1

When you’re emotionally aware, you’re halfway to effective communication, but you still have to deliver your words appropriately. Many times it’s not what you say, but how you say it. Adopt a fitting tone to address the emotional state of those around you, and your words will have their desired effect.

Speak Persuasively
“The heart of the wise teaches his mouth and adds persuasiveness to his lips.” ~ Proverbs 16:23

The National Storytelling Festival, held in Jonesborough, Tennessee features some of America’s most captivating communicators. Listen for awhile, and you’ll discover traits that allow them to persuade listeners to take interest in the stories they tell.

Enthusiasm. The storytellers obviously enjoy what they are doing, expressing themselves with joy and vitality. Animation. The presentations are marked by lively facial expressions and gestures. Audience Participation. Almost every storyteller involves the audience in some way, asking listeners to sing, clap, repeat phrases, or do sign language. Spontaneity. None of the storytellers have notes. The festival is truly an oral event. Storytellers didn’t read their stories; they tell them, which allowed for eye contact.

Be Honest
“He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.” ~ Proverbs 10:18

In an effort to persuade, leaders may be tempted to cross the line into manipulation. When doing so, facts may be fabricated or spun deceptively. Lies add complexity to life since the liar has to operate under the guise of falsehood. Eventually, lies are brought to light and undermine credibility. Leaders protect their character by using discretion in their language. They speak truthfully—even when honesty is costly.

SUMMARY

Poor communication is the number one culprit of failed relationships—in business and at home. Since relationships are the foundation of success, leaders would be wise to invest in the communication skills of context and delivery. Master them, and you’ll more easily gain favor, more readily make friends, and more effectively motivate others.

One Bite at a Time

Do you ever get overwhelmed by projects that seem too big? I know I do.

I once heard someone ask, "How do you eat an elephant?" He then responded, "One bite at a time!" Obviously that is a great metaphor for life, especially when it seems overwhelming.

I recently received this tidbit in an email from Zig Ziglar on this subject:

There's an old saying that "by the mile it's a trial, and by the inch it's a cinch." The reason the saying is old is because it's good, it's valid. If it were not, it would be dead and buried. For 24 years of my adult life, by choice I weighed well over 200 pounds. I say "by choice" because I have never "accidentally" eaten anything, so when I choose to eat too much, I have chosen to weigh too much. Every choice has an end result.

Twenty-two years ago I decided to do something about my weight and physical condition, so I got on an exercise and sensible eating program. Until then my idea of exercise was to fill the tub, take a bath, pull the plug and fight the current - and I know you'll agree that's not much of an exercise program! It took me 10 months to lose the 37 pounds I needed to lose. During that period of time I also wrote my first book, See You At The Top. It is 384 pages long and was the eighth best-selling hardback of the '80s.

Let's explore what I just said. Losing 37 pounds in 10 months meant that I lost an average of 1.9 ounces per day. Writing a 384-page book in 10 months meant that I wrote an average of 1 1/4 pages per day. You raise positive kids in a negative world, build a beautiful relationship with your mate, become a top-performing student, a world-class salesperson, or a top executive or educator not by a few mammoth leaps but by the daily, disciplined application of doing something every day to reach your objectives in life.

Standing Up Under Pressure

I think one of the toughest things to do as a leader is stand behind a decision while everyone else is criticizing you for it. That is why I wanted to share this article which appeared in Business Week about Griffin Hospital in Derby, Connecticut:

In my interview with Griffin Vice-President Bill Powanda, he told me a memorable story of how the hospital's communications policy was put to the test. In November, 2001, an elderly woman was admitted to the hospital and died several days later. Ninety-four-year-old Ottilie Lundgren had become the nation's fifth victim of anthrax inhalation. Although the hospital's lab had confirmed the results through multiple tests, the FBI had yet to come to its own conclusions. Griffin CEO Patrick Charmel had called a meeting to inform the 400 day-shift employees of the situation. The FBI was adamant about delaying the announcement until after it had completed its own tests, a full six days after Lundgren had been admitted. Even then-Governor John Rowland got involved, requesting that the hospital cancel its staff meeting.

With all this pressure bearing down, Charmel and Powanda were beginning to wonder if holding the meeting was the right decision. They called a representative from the American Hospital Assn., who said that if their situation had been taking place in any other hospital, he would have also recommended that the meeting be delayed. But Griffin was different: "If you do not follow the open and honest culture you have created at Griffin, you will destroy in one day what has taken you 10 years to build." Charmel held a staff meeting as scheduled to communicate the facts of the case, the results of the tests, and how anthrax is spread.

Griffin went on to win an award from a local newspaper for its boldness and commitment to the public's right to know. Charmel's actions were "nothing short of heroic," according to the New London Day. A front-page story told readers what his colleagues already knew: Charmel had become a hero to his staff long before the anthrax crisis because he committed himself to making them all feel as if they played key roles in the hospital's success, which they most certainly do.

Griffin leaders like Charmel have set a precedent with staff and provide a model for behavior that all employees—managers, doctors, nurses, and administrators alike—strive to emulate. Every employee is considered a "caregiver"—even the security guards, parking lot valets, and chefs—and they all feel comfortable addressing Charmel directly with praise, concerns, or suggestions. If an employee believes the hospital is failing to put the patient first in any area of care, Charmel is the first to know; he makes himself as available as possible. He keeps the lines of communication open with the following practices:

A long day's walk. Charmel spends most of the working day in the hospital, but out of his office. He typically starts office work after 5 p.m. because he meets with people in their own departments all day; they do not come to him. This is the ultimate open-door policy.
A monthly orientation. Charmel welcomes new employees with a two-hour presentation every month. This orientation is mandatory for all new employees and volunteers, and Charmel does not miss it. First impressions count.

A biannual meeting for everyone. Twice a year Charmel hosts a "State of the Hospital" meeting for all employees and volunteers, where everyone hears exactly the same information as the board of directors: strategic information, market-share data, financial statistics, and plans for the future. Everything.

Regular updates. Charmel contributes to a daily newsletter, Griffin Today, which is distributed to 700 hospital workstations accessible to both employees and patients. The daily is supplemented by an electronic newsletter.

Old-fashioned correspondence. Charmel sends letters directly to the homes of employees and volunteers, about hospital, community, or medical issues as they directly affect them.

Thankfulness

Yesterday at CrossRoads, Pastor Mark told us we are rich. He said that a family who earns $50,000 or more per year is in the top 1% of all people worldwide in terms of wage earners.

He went on to say that being rich is not a bad thing, although becoming materialistic is not good. He then told us that we should all be very thankful. We get so caught up in chasing "stuff" that we oftentimes lose our sense of appreciation.

That afternoon at home, we smelled something burning in our house. It smelled electrical in nature. It seemed like it was coming from one of our bathrooms upstairs. We took swithchplates off and removed light fixtures but could find nothing. So we called 911.

The fire department came with a special camera which can detect heat, even behind walls. Although they could smell what we smelled, they couldn't find anything either. We even went to the basement to check the furnace.

We apprehensively went to bed last night not knowing how our evening would go. When I woke up at 5 this morning, it was freezing. Our furnace was not working!

But, I am so thankful--I truly am! I am thankful that we are all safe and our house is still standing. I'm thankful that the outside temperature isn't in the single digits like last week. And I am very thankful for our hot water heater working this morning!

We just spoke with the plumbing and heating company and they told us they believe it is the blower on our furnace. So I'm also thankful that we think we know the problem and it is fix-able.

Thank you for protecting and providing for us Lord!

Leading By Example

I am a big believer that those who follow a leader do so because of the example he or she sets not because of their words. The old saying, "I can't hear what you're saying because your actions are speaking too loudly" is true.

If you are able to lead by example, you will be able to take your team (which can also be your family) to a much higher level.

Brian Tracy backs this up in a recent article (click on this because it is worth reading):

One of the marks of excellent people is that they never compare themselves with others. They only compare themselves with themselves and with their past accomplishments and future potential. You can become an even more excellent person by constantly setting higher and higher standards for yourself and then by doing everything possible to live up to those standards. The more proficient you become at getting the results for which you were hired, the more opportunities you will have to get results through others. And your ability to put together a team and then to lead that team to high performance will enable you to accelerate your business and fulfill your goals faster than ever before.

The Meltdown

I work at home on Thursdays. This morning I was getting ready to begin my day when I heard my 11 year-old son throwing a temper tantrum downstairs. Apparently, we were out of milk and we didn't have enough of his favorite cereal. So, he decided that he didn't want to go to school this morning. It was not pretty.

I went downstairs and did my best to talk with him in a calm voice. When it was all said and done, he ended up losing out on electronics for the next 3 days. But, he ended up going to school. By the way, he also ended up not eating anything.

Some parents might think of this as cruel, but I want Robbie to know there are consequences to his actions, even if he is hungry for a few hours. Trust me when I tell you that I have a long way to go in my parenting skills, but I would rather have him face the consequences from me than from a judge (who doesn't love him like I do) in 10 years.

No matter where you are in your leadership, whether it be at work or at home, I think others want to be held accountable. I have found this especially true in the work place. There is nothing that can destroy an organization's morale faster than a leader who does not hold others accountable. This does nothing but upset the best workers.

I love my son very much, so much that I want him to learn what is best for him, therefore I hold him accountable. When you hold someone acountable you are not being mean-spirited, you are actually showing that person love.

Just Being There

Someone recently made a comment to me about the Ohio State Buckeyes' football team. They referred to them as the "Buffalo Bills" of college football. They are obviously referring to the fact that the Bills lost four straight Super Bowls and Ohio State has lost the last two National Championship games.

A friend of mine, Brian Keel puts out an incredible weekly devotional via email. His latest one addresses this topic in a great way. I hope you enjoy!

It’s been an interesting twelve month cycle for sports fans in Ohio. It all started in January of 2007 when the Ohio State Buckeyes laid a giant egg in the BCS football championship game. Ohio State then played the same Florida Gators in the final game of the NCAA basketball tournament, and lost. Then the Cleveland Cavaliers made an improbable run to the NBA finals, and lost. The Cleveland Indians made the American League Championship Series and came “this close”, but lost. To top off this incredible run of near misses, Ohio State returned to the BCS football championship game a few weeks ago…… and lost.

Hopefully you noticed that I said it was an interesting year, not a terrible year. No, no trophies were won, no banners were raised, and no parades were held. Even so it was a great time to be a fan. The entire season and postseason were relevant and exciting. Was it a success? Not by some standards I’m sure. But as I told more than one co-worker, “All I know is your team; the _______ weren’t even in the game!”

Psalm 84:10 says “better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere”. We might only get one brief mountaintop experience in our faith walk, like Peter, James and John experienced with Moses, Elijah and Jesus. I don’t anticipate a trophy, a banner or a parade at the end of my life. But being there that one time is enough! Enough to make it all worthwhile.

Under the Knife

I had surgery this morning to repair a hernia. The cool part of this was the fact that two of my nurses attend the same church I do. While Barb and Lisa were helping me, I was struck by the fact that they were both serving me, similar to the way Christ served others.

We talk a lot at CrossRoads about the fact that our workplace is really our mission field--which is so true. It was awesome for me to be able to see that in action today!

Thanks Barb and Lisa.

Everyone Lies At Least Four Times A Day

LONDON — Far from being exclusive to hangover sufferers excusing themselves from work, being economic with the truth appears to be a way of life for just about everyone.

Each of us, according to a new survey by a British beverage firm, will tell an average total of 88,000 lies over the course of our lives.

According to the firm's poll of 2,500 men and women, "Nothing is wrong, I'm fine" tops what it says is a lengthy list of common lies.

That's 1,460 untruths a year or more than four in every day of an average, 60-year adult lifetime.

Other favorites include, "No, your bottom doesn't look big in that," to a wife or girlfriend; "Of course I love you," to a boring spouse or partner; and "This tastes delicious."

To read the rest of the article click here.

When I read the headline of this article, I said, "Well that doesn't apply to me." Then when I read the article, I said, "Maybe it does. I do tell white lies from time to time."

So what do you think about telling "white" lies? Is this OK? If so, under what circumstances is it acceptable?

Integrity

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went p.

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

This is pretty humorous because we can see the truth in it in ourselves and in others we know. We all have told a "white lie" or "stretched the truth" before. So what's the big deal?

One of the core traits that most people look for in a leader is honesty and integrity. In a survey run by Ajilon Professional Staffing, they discovered that honesty and integrity were far ahead of any other traits desired in a leader.

I have heard it said that one way to describe integrity is who you are when no one is looking. So how is your integrity?

Prayer At Work

Last night at church I was talking with Steve who told me about a tough situation he has been having at work. It seems his boss is somewhat of a tyrant and is making their work environment very unhealthy.

This is something I can definitely relate to (If you don't know why, see Bleedership, Biblical First-Aid for Leaders).

Anyway, Steve mentioned he was seriously considering quitting. He then decided months ago to spend some quiet time with God to see if He would provide some direction to him. Steve said he felt God was telling him to stick it out and be a positive influence. So that's what he did.

He went to work and gathered other Christians and they began a regular time of prayer for their boss. He said it has been amazing what has happened. Over the past four months his boss has started to come around and has even apologized to him!

What a great testimony! Thanks for your example Steve!

The Dash

Several months ago I wrote in my monthly Bleedership newsletter about our dash--that time between our birth and our death and how we choose to spend it. This is what I wrote:

I read something somewhere that really stuck with me. It was a story about a man who had a revelation while sitting in a cemetery where a loved one was buried. He looked around at all the tomb stones and he noticed how each one was very similar.

Each marker told a story. It told the person’s name, their date of birth and their date of death. Some even had a brief sentence such as “A loving husband and father” which inadequately tried to describe the life of that person.

The man began to think of all the untold stories contained in each tomb stone. They each told of the beginning (date of birth) followed by a dash and then the end for that person on earth; however, what happened in between? The man thought, what was in that dash for each of these people?

Then it hit him. We all are living in our dash right now! That little line, that seemingly insignificant hyphen is our very significant life.

So, how is your dash looking? Are you truly living a life worth living in that little line between your birth date and your date of death? Remember – it is your choice!

The reason I bring this up is that two different friends sent me a link to a three minute movie that talks about this very subject. I hope you enjoy! Click here.

Decision Making

Have you ever had a tough decision to make? Has it been easy to do? If you are like me the answer is "no." I sometimes struggle with little decisions.

One of my favorite speakers, Zig Ziglar shared some great advice on how he makes decisions:

If you find it difficult to make decisions, or you worry that your decisions are not good decisions, or you lack the confidence to make decisions in a timely manner . . . you're not alone! Many people express their concerns about their decision-making abilities. But if you ask them, "What's your routine for making decisions?" they often will tell you they don't have one. Truthfully they do, but they don't recognize it, or they don't like it. Their decisions are based on SOMETHING, and if they stop and think about it they'll discover what it is. However, it's much better to purposefully and thoughtfully develop your decision-making system, and then follow it whenever you need to make decisions.

If you ask Zig Ziglar how he makes decisions, he'll tell you that he follows some basic rules. Here they are, in his own words:

1. If I'm really tired, I don't make significant decisions (except in emergencies).

2. If someone is pressing me to decide something "right now," unless an immediate decision is critical, I say, "If I have to decide now, the answer is no. After I have had a chance to catch my breath and review the facts, there's the possibility it could be yes." Then I put the ball back in his or her court and ask, "Do you want my decision now, or should we wait?"

3. I like to determine the maximum benefit of a decision, assuming that everything goes my way. Then I ask, "Suppose nothing goes my way? Suppose this doesn't develop and materialize as I expect it to? What is my maximum exposure? What would I lose?"

4. For significant business-related decisions, I run them past my advisors. These people are successful in their businesses and professions and have a considerable amount of knowledge, experience, and wisdom, all of which are musts in the decision-making process. I get their advice and follow their recommendations, with good results in most cases. If the decision is too minor to involve my advisors but I still want input, I get my family together to look at the pros and cons.

5. I like to pray about my decisions. I ask God to help me see the truth of my motives and to lead me in the way I should go. If I'm about to make an unwise decision, I simply don't have peace about that decision, and I consequently act on that feeling of unease. I ask myself, "How will this decision affect all the areas of my life--personal, family, career, financial, physical, mental and spiritual?" Obviously, not all decisions affect all areas, but if the decision involves a financial reward but also carries considerable family sacrifice, for example, I think carefully as to whether what I give up is compensated for by what I gain. One final note: Prioritize your decisions. Some are more urgent than others!