12-3-1

Yesterday, Dean, my pastor shared with us about Jesus and the model He gave us for relationships. He said that in Jesus' outer circle were many people. One circle inside of that contained less people who regularly heard Jesus’ teachings. One circle inside that one contained His 12 disciples. Then inside of that was a circle of three: John, James and Peter. Then there was one more circle which contained John.

Jesus spent more time with each group of people as He went toward the middle. John, He shared everything with. John is actually referred to as the one He loved (John 19:26-27 among other places). It wasn’t that Jesus didn’t love anyone else—that is totally not true. It was just that John had a special relationship with Jesus. He was the one Jesus let get closer than any other.

Dean went on to say that this is an excellent model for each of us. 12-3-1. It would be good for each of us to have a group of around 12 people who have access to our lives and that we can “do life” with. Further, it would be great to have 2-3 people who can keep us on track. Then, to have one who has complete access to our life would be wonderful. We were meant to do life together, in community.

There were eight friendship roles discussed that we should each look for in our lives:

1. Coach – Who brings out the best in me?
2. Thinking – Who challenges my mind?
3. Listening – Who hears my dreams and my heart?
4. Sympathetic – Who cries with me?
5. Laughing – Who belly-laughs with me?
6. Correcting – Who respects me?
7. Playing – Who has fun with me?
8. Seeking – Who deepens my faith?

Answering these questions was a great exercise for me for two reasons. One, it showed me how incredibly blessed I am with the people that God has placed in my life. And, two, it revealed a couple of gaps that I have in my relationship roles that I need to fill.

I encourage you to answer these questions, then to seek to fill in the gaps.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17

Accountability

In my post on Friday I talked about the different faces we all have: the public face, the private face and the personal face. I mentioned that the closer these three faces are to one another the more healthy we are and the more integrity we will have.

Saying we are going to work on this is one thing. Actually doing something about it is another.

One of the things I do for a living is to lead monthly roundtable groups of Christian business leaders. As part of each four hour session, we include a time of accountability. During this time, each member is to share what they want to accomplish during this next month in their personal life and in their business. They will then give a report next month on how they did. If they got it done, we celebrate. If not, they pay a penalty which is usual a stiff financial fine. This drives true change!

I bring this up because as humans, we all have a tendency to do the easy things first and to let the tough things slide. Bringing our three faces in line with one another is definitely not an easy thing and it is certainly not a natural thing for us to do. So, we will need help. We will need accountability.

We all need people in our lives who we can share everything with, who will love us anyway and will care enough about us that they will hold us accountable to doing what is right.

Do you have 1-3 people like this in your life? If not, I encourage you to seek them out.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17