You Can't Have A Testimony Without The Test

As mentioned in my last post, I participated as a table leader for the Walk to Emmaus this past weekend. At my table were five other individuals, many of which had experienced some severe life tests.

During one of the discussions, I asked the table, "Why do you think God wants to use us to reach others on earth, when we are all so messed up?" One of the guys at the table, who had perhaps lived the most difficult life, responded by saying, "Because we are messed up." He went on to say that because of his tests, he will now be able to help people who are going through similar things. He was absolutely right.

I have heard it said that God never wastes a hurt. He will use it for good. The fact is, it's impossible to have a testimony without the test.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

Rear View Mirror

"God always looks better in the rear view mirror than in the windshield."

That's a quote I recently heard that I really like. I was reflecting on that as I was writing a future newsletter for my subscribers this morning (if you would like to receive this at no charge, you can sign up at www.bleedership.com).

This particular newsletter issue I'm working on deals with the pain we experience in our lives and how God promises that He will use it for good if we love Him and are called according to His purpose (see Romans 8:28).

The way I see it, God can turn our tough stuff into good in a lot of ways, but in this particular newsletter I'm focusing on two:

1. It can later be used to help others who are going through similar struggles
2. It can be used to make us better and to further develop our character making us more suitable for the job God has for us

We need to remember that God does not waste anything, especially our hurts.

We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5:3-4

Nothing's Ever Easy

On Monday of this week, my father came and installed a shelving unit that he had made for us for out family room. He is a dentist by profession but he is also a master craftsman when it comes to woodworking.

The unit he built for us is incredible and contains shelves and a place to put a television which we also purchased this week (with money he gave us for Christmas to help pay for it). He had purchased a universal TV wall mount that was already installed. All we needed to do was hook up our TV and hang it on the mount...or so we thought.

Monday night, I began the process of doing this when I found that the mounting kit did not have the right sized bolts to screw into the back of our TV. So, off to the hardware store I went to get different bolts. Well, those didn't fit either. So back I went. I got two other sizes and those didn't fit. At that point, the hardware store had closed, so the next day I got the size I needed.

Last night, Connie and I began the installation and found that the bolts (now the correct size) wouldn't fit through the brackets of the mount. I called their customer service line and was told that their "universal" wall mount was not compatible with our TV. So...it is still not installed. We have some ideas that might work, but it is going to take some work.

It seems that nothing is ever easy (especially if it involves me doing something like this).

Same is true in life. Many people I know have told me that they thought their lives would be filled with much less problems after they became a Christ follower. They were surprised to find that that is not the case. Christian or not, we will all face challenges. Those challenges are easier to handle though when you have Him in your corner.

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Jesus in John 16:33

Overcoming Adversity

My family has become a fan of American Idol since its second season on the air. It's one of the few shows that most of us watch with regularity.

This past week there were two contestants who really touched me. The first was 18 year-old Shelby Dressel who was born with a nerve issue which does not allow her to smile on the right side of her face. In the interview shown above, she admitted she is very self-conscious about this. However, as you will see, she does quite well in her audition.

Below, is the audition of Dave Pittman, a guy who was diagnosed at the age of nine with Tourette syndrome. He also knocks it out of the park. Watch it below.

I love it when people overcome adversity!

We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Romans 5:3

Perseverance

In 1992, Derek Redmond, Britain's star sprinter was looking to get into the finals of the 400 meter event at the Olympic Games in Barcelona.

His career was filled with injuries and this day would be no different as he tore his hamstring. Check out the short video above for a great picture of what perseverance is all about. It's about pressing on through our pain and adversity, knowing that our Heavenly Father is going to help us along the way.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1

Pain's Purpose

On Sunday, our pastor delivered a message about how God can, and often, uses our pain from our past to help others who are going through some tough times in their lives. During his sermon he said, "There is a purpose behind your pain. Your greatest contribution or ministry will probably not come from your strengths. It will come from your struggles."

As I reflected on my life, I had to agree with him. One of the toughest periods of my life was when I was VP of Sales for a company in town. I had a boss who was an absolute tyrant. He would rant, rave and cuss at me and others. He would throw things. He even once ripped the thermostat off the wall when he was hot. It was an extremely unhealthy environment. I was stressed beyond the max and it impacted every area of my life, and maybe most of all my family.

However, looking back on this I am so thankful that God placed my boss in my life. While it was brutal, it led to me writing the book Bleedership, Biblical First-Aid for Leaders in which I contrast my boss' leadership style with that of the great leaders in the Bible. As a result of that, the trajectory of my life has been changed drastically. I know that through my tough times there are some people who have been helped.

If you are going through a period of difficulty, know that God is preparing you for ministry, to impact others. God never wastes a hurt!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Choices

I have heard it said that life is about choices and our choices will determine how fulfilled we are in our lives. I believe this 100%.

Joyce Meyer has said that love is not a feeling, it is a choice. When we are married, there will be times that we don't really like our spouses. However, we need to choose to love them anyway. Hollywood messes up our minds on this by trying to get us to buy in to the notion that love is a feeling. Not true.

A friend of mine asked me the other day, "Jim, if someone spit on you does that make you angry?"

I said, "Absolutely!"

He said, "No, it doesn't. It makes you wet. It is your choice to become angry."

After thinking about this for a second, I had to agree. Again, choices.

Jesus promised us trouble in John 16:33. When trouble or adversity strikes, it's not what happens that will determine our destiny; it's how we react to what happens. It's the choice we make that will matter.

Check out the above video to see some inspiring stories from others who have decided to make great choices.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
John 16:33

Contentment

On my drive to Archbold, Ohio (about an hour west of Toledo) for some meetings this morning, I finished up listening to the story of Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson on tape (Standing Like a Stone Wall by James Robertson, Jr.). This was loaned to me by a good friend as it is not something I would normally listen to or read. It really surprised me--it was quite good and filled with some great leadership nuggets.

At the very end of Stonewall Jackson's life, he had been shot during the Civil War and was losing lots of blood. They decided to amputate his left arm and as he was recovering, the chaplain was very concerned with the fact that Jackson's arm could not be saved. Jackson answered him, "This is a blessing from God that I do not understand. I shall know what it means either in this world or the next. I am perfectly content."

How cool is that?!

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything in through Him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:12-13

Storms

Last night, Connie (my wife) and I were driving to a meeting about a half hour away from our house. When we left our house the weather looked a little ominous but it was still clear. About half way there, we drove through a fierce storm with thunder and lightning and heavy rain. We couldn't see more than 20 feet in front of us.

In about three or four minutes we broke free of the storm and were in the clear. Connie said, "Isn't that amazing? A few minutes ago there was no end to the storm we were in and now we are in the clear!"

I mentioned to her that that was a great point and that it was a great illustration of life. When we are in the middle of our "storms," it can seem like there is no end in sight. However, if we just keep "driving," the "clearing" will be straight ahead.

While we were driving through this rain storm, we could have chosen to pull over to the side of the road. Had we done that, it would have been a lot easier; however, we would have remained in the storm for a longer period of time. In the same way, when we are caught in our storms, we need to keep pressing on, even though it will seem easier to remain still and do nothing (or pout). God will then give us victory!

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.

James 1:12

I Quit

Have you ever felt like giving up? How about at work? Did you ever just want to tell your boss those famous lyrics, "Take this job and shove it"?

A couple of days ago I put up a post for those who have a Bad Job. Based on the comments received, it has struck a nerve.

One commenter had this to say, "Thanks for the post. I'm going through some crises in my work right now and through out the week I had thought about just quitting, but now I plan on first be thankful to God for the job and the opportunities it has brought my way and secondly change my attitude towards it.(God help me!!!)."

Haven't we all been there before? I know I sure have. This person is making the choice to embrace his or her situation and to look for the good in it. That is awesome!

The one thing that struck me when reading this comment was that, if we are truly looking for a greater purpose in our work, tough times bring about terrific opportunities--in fact, greater opportunities than times of prosperity. It is during challenges that others are typically looking at you to see how you will react.

Look at what is happening in Major League Baseball right now. It is 24/7 coverage of the steroid issue because of Alex Rodriguez's admission that he used performance-enhancing drugs. Everyone is tuning in to see how he will react because he is in hot water.

The same is true of us where you are. If you can act in a Christ-like way, amazing seeds can be planted. Perhaps, someone might even ask you how you are able to react the way you do. Then, you have an open door to share what God is doing in your life.

Embrace the challenge...it can lead to much good!

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.

1 Peter 3:15b

Adversity

In our men's group this morning, one of the guys shared that he was homeless as of today. He has no money and he's not sure what he is going to do.

But you know what else he shared? He said that he cannot explain it, but, he feels almost privileged. He feels as if he is being purified. He actually described himself as feeling "white hot" (and this on a day that is -12 degrees!). Another phrase he used was that he is "almost thankful" for this.

Amazing!

He inspired all of us this morning with his words and the peace that was in his face. We read some verses together which discussed the very things he shared:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. James 1:2-3

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Thankfully, he has some options for where he is going to stay. And, we all know that God has a great future planned for him! (Jeremiah 29:11)

Adversity Can Be Positive

Many of us go through life thinking that life would be much greater and much more fun if we didn't have challenging times, if everything went along just like we wanted. I once saw an episode of The Twighlight Zone in which the main character wished that he would never again lose a game of pool. He then found himself in the twighlight zone in which his wish was granted.

He was having the time of his life...for a while. Then it got boring. No matter what he did, he couldn't lose. He became very frustrated and it totally took the fun out of his favorite game.

This past weekend the US Ryder Cup team defeated the Europeans for the first time since 1999. It was becoming old, with the Europeans continually winning the cup.

Up until the 1980s the US held the cup and never lost. Rarely was anybody talking about the Ryder Cup. It wasn't until the Europeans upset the Americans in 1985 to break a drought dating back to 1957 that the Ryder Cup became a big deal.

Because the Europeans had a stranglehold on the cup in recent years, the significance of the cup was once again becoming diminished, especially from a European perspective. By winning the cup back, the US team now has added more fuel to the fire so that the next Ryder Cup match played in two years will be a very big deal again.

Let's remember this in our lives, especially when adversity strikes. The adversity certainly isn't fun; however, it helps to add flavor to our lives and actually makes it less boring.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5:3-4

Quietly Fighting Through Adversity

I heard this morning that Tiger Woods is to have reconstructive surgery on his ACL in his left knee and will miss the remainder of the year from a golf standpoint. This is sad news for the golfing community.

I have always respected Tiger and his work ethic. However, this news makes me respect him even more. He played 91 holes of golf in the US Open this past weekend (4 18-hole rounds and 19 holes in a playoff) over the longest US Open course ever (just on the course he walked over 21 miles on a very painful knee). In addition, it was revealed that he has two stress fractures in the same leg.

Yet, I never once heard him complain about it. Yes, he answered questions about it but he did not make it a big deal. He did not use his injuries as an excuse of any kind. He just battled through them and did the best he could...which was good enough to win his 14th major championship.

I know some people who have exhibited this same character trait. A good friend of mine named Rick recently ran a full marathon with a stress fracture in his leg. Though it was extremely painful, no one has heard him complain.

Buck, another great friend, was diagnosed with Parkinson's. His prayer request is never for healing but he always asks God for the strength to respond appropriately so that Christ may be glorified.

Cool stuff!

This doesn't just apply to physical ailments but to all situations. So how do you respond when things are not going the way you would like at work? Do you act like I do many times and get stressed and treat people poorly or do you do like Tiger, Rick and Buck and rejoice and fight through the tough circumstance?

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Philippians 4:4 (emphasis mine)

A Little Dirt

When I was playing basketball at the University of Toledo, my coach, Bob Nichols would constantly talk to us about the importance of overcoming adversity. He would tell us that adversity will come, that is guaranteed; but the key was how we handled it.

Most of the time I wouldn't pay much attention to him. I was in college and I thought I had life all figured out. As I have grown older and hopefully a little wiser I now understand that what Coach Nichols was talking about was absolutely correct.

I was reminded of this when I received this in an email from David Jeremiah:

A little girl walking in a garden saw a particularly beautiful flower and promptly picked it because she felt it was too pretty to be in the dirt. She then took the flower home and rinsed the dirt off with water. Shortly thereafter, the flower wilted and died. When the owner of that garden saw what the little girl had done, he exclaimed, "You have destroyed my finest plant!" "I'm sorry, but I didn't like it in all that dirt," said the girl. The gardener responded by saying, "I chose that spot and mixed the soil because I knew that only there could it grow to be a beautiful flower."

Sometimes we become like that little girl, fixated on the dirt of our life instead of seeing the beauty and growth that will emerge in time. But once we have experienced seeing the hand of God in our life, we have assurance that we can trust Him in His sovereignty. So, if it feels like nothing good will ever come out of what you are going through, be patient and steadfast, knowing that God "plans to give you a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

Embracing Adversity

On our trip last week, my 11 year-old son was digging in the sand and trying to keep the waves from washing away his creation. In order to do this, he tried to build a wall around his structure.

But each time a wave would come, it would wash away part of the wall. Nothing he could do could prevent this.

The thing that I noticed is that each time he built his wall, it would have jagged edges. And each time the wave came it would smooth out the rough spots and make it look a lot nicer.

If that isn’t a metaphor for life, I don’t know what is. I thought about the tough experiences I have gone through. It was during those times when I got better...when I grew.

I'm sure you've heard the old saying, "you can be bitter or better"-well it's true. Adversity can be like the waves of the ocean…it can smooth out our rough edges and make us better.

Responding

I am a big believer that all circumstances work out for good, even if we can't see it at the time. In fact one of my favorite bible verses tells us this is true if we "...love God and are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) In other words, God never wastes a hurt.

Zig Ziglar wrote something along these lines that was too good not to share:

When you respond to life, that's positive; when you react to life, that's negative. Example: you get sick and go to the doctor. Chances are good that after an examination he or she would give you a prescription with instructions to return in several days. When you walk back in if the doctor starts shaking his head and says, "It looks like your body is reacting to the medicine, we're going to have to change it," you probably would get a little nervous. However, if the doctor smiled and said, "You're looking great! Your body is responding to the medication," you would get excited and feel much better. Yes, responding to life is good. Reacting to the incidents of life is negative - and that's bad. The next example validates that fact.

Today there's much turmoil in the job market and many people are losing their jobs through downsizing, mergers and takeovers. This creates some unusual "opportunities" for many people. One positive from this is that in the last five years, according to the Wall Street Journal, over fifteen million new businesses have been created, well over half of them by women. Interestingly, very few of these women had any marketable skills and all of them had great financial need. Most of the new businesses were "trust" businesses, meaning that the women collected the money before they delivered the goods or services. The Journal comments that virtually none of these women have been prosecuted and jailed for failure to deliver on that trust. That's exciting!

Many of these new businesses - possibly most of them - would never have been started had not an unfortunate event occurred in these people's lives. When those events did occur and needs became obvious, these women chose to respond and there's little doubt that many of them are better off now than they were before the "tragedy" took place.

The message is clear: If you will respond to life instead of react to it, then I've got a much better chance of seeing you AT THE TOP!

Leading When Things Aren't Going Your Way

In Bo’s Lasting Lessons, authors Bo Schembechler and John Bacon relate a story from Bo’s early days coaching. He learned a lesson about leading when the heat is on from his boss from his boss and mentor Ara Parseghian that he carried with him the rest of his life. Here's that excerpt:

The following season, 1956, I left Doyt [Perry] and Bowling Green—with his blessings—to become an assistant for Ara Parseghian at Northwestern University.

Ara was not a big ego guy, he was great with players, he was a wonderful motivator, and he understood the game so well he could come up with things no one else had thought of. He was probably the most imaginative coach I’d ever seen, always adapting his plays to his players instead of the other way around like most coaches do. Heck, we used to call his practice field “The Laboratory,” because that’s where he’d try every trick in the book on Mondays, testing this and experimenting with that, just to see what might work that Saturday.

Before Ara arrived, Northwestern hadn’t had a winning season in five years, but in his first year Northwestern went 4-4-1, and everyone was encouraged. But in Ara’s second season, 1957, everything went to hell. We lost nine games—every single game we played! For a coach, that’s just about the most difficult situation you have to face.

We could keep our opponents down to one or two touchdowns, but we couldn’t score for our lives. And I was working with the offense!

Losing creates all kinds of other problems too—poor morale, nagging injuries, lackluster effort. The players were spending more time in the PR office than in the weight room. It was just a mess. I never experienced anything like that in all my years of coaching—and thank God for that.

I learned an awful lot from Ara in my first year at Northwestern, but I learned a heckuva lot more from him that second season, when he lost ‘em all. And what I learned was how a real leader leads when things aren’t going his way.

Ara treated the staff as though we were winning every game. He never gave the slightest inclination that we were the problem. He not once blamed any assistant or any player fro any loss we suffered that year. NOT ONCE.

“Stick with it, guys, and we’ll get through this,” he’d tell us. “We’re going to be okay.” We all kept busting our butts for Ara, working past midnight, doing everything we could to get that guy a victory.

I’m not saying there wasn’t some bitching among the players. When you’re losing every game, every player thinks he deserves more playing time. But I promise you this: There was a whole lot less bitching on that team than I’ve heard on teams that won half their games—and there was absolutely no, but no, bickering among the coaches.

To read the rest including how Ara led with integrity, go here.

The Big 5

Yesterday I shared the first of what John Maxwell calls the Big 5 Challenges of Life, discouragement.

Here is his second challenge he says we will all face as leaders:

2. Problems

Just as every leader gets discouraged, so every leader runs into problems. When facing problems, adjusting your attitude can be a precursor to adjusting your situation. Remember: change on the outside always follows the change on the inside.

Principles for Handling Problems

(1) Define What A Problem Is
A problem is something I can do something about. If I cannot do something about a situation, it is a fact of life, not a problem.

(2) Anticipate Problems
A problem anticipated may be an opportunity, but a problem not anticipated is a simply a problem.

(3) Embrace Each Problem as a Potential Opportunity.Problems are wake-up calls for creativity. They sharpen us by testing our reasoning and drawing out our creative juices.

The Strike Out

I receive a magazine each month from Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Les Steckel, who many remember as a coach in the NFL (Minnesota Vikings) is the President of FCA and he wrote this letter in this month's issue:

Picture yourself in this situation. It's Opening Day at Yankee Stadium, and you are up to bat for the home team. It's the bottom of the ninth inning. Your team is down by three, and the bases are loaded. Not only that, but since you were voted the American League MVP last season, you've got a lot to live up to.

Talk about expectations. Everybody in your dugout, the fans in the stands, everyone watching on TV, your family, all the higher-ups in the front office - they all expect you to do something special. Your mind is racing, I need to hit this thing out of the park. My team needs a grand slam. That's what they expect. That's what everyone expects.

Do you ever feel like that - like you've got a lot to live up to? Like you have to meet an unreasonably high level of expectation?

Well, I want to share something with you - something that I've learned from situations like those. If you hit a grand slam, hallelujah! Those grand slams happen from time to time. But in our lives, we can't expect to hit a home run every time we go to the plate.

Every great player strikes out, and so do you and I. But when we strike out, we have to realize that it's not the end of the world. Most likely, a day will come when we will have another chance. It may not be the same exact situation, but there will be another opportunity for great achievement. That's one of the unique things about living the Christian life. Sometimes God wants to see how you handle failures before He gives you victories.

Do you remember watching this year's Super Bowl? Colts Head Coach Tony Dungy went through what seemed like so many personal and professional defeats during his career. But through it all, the world watched as he walked by faith and never took his focus off of Christ. And look what happened! After he endured many trials and defeats, he was blessed with the ultimate NFL victory.

This month, whatever you're facing, whatever expectations are threatening to crush you, I challenge you to turn it all over to the Lord. He has a perfect plan for you. And not matter what the outcome, you can't forget that He's watching. Not only that, but He's cheering you on. He wants you to trust Him and to praise Him, win or lose. And once you learn to do that, He may grant you the victory that you've awaited so long.

Are you up to the challenge? I expect that you are.

"But thanks be to God! He gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!

1 Corinthians 15:57

Thankful for Adversity

Have you ever been thankful for adversity? I just read an interesting article that puts a little different spin on it. Here is what Chris Widener had to say:

Adversity makes life interesting. John Amatt said, "Without adversity, without change, life is boring." How true. Have you noticed that while we are in the middle of adversity we only long to get out of it, but we then spend a lifetime recounting it to anyone who will listen? This is because it spices life up a little. Imagine how boring life would be if everything always went well, when there was never a mountain to be climbed.

To read the rest of his article, click here.