Finding Common Ground

In my last post I shared about some barriers to finding common ground with others according to John Maxwell in his book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. Today, I will share how Maxwell recommends that we cultivate a common ground mindset:

1. Availability - "I will choose to spend time with others" (Common ground must be discovered, and that takes time)

2. Listening - "I will listen my way to common ground" (Finding common ground requires us to pay attention to others.)

3. Questions - "I will be interested enough in others to ask questions" (Larry King says his favorite question is an easy one to remember, "Why?")

4. Thoughtfulness - "I will think of others and look for ways to thank them" (Thinking of others first is one of the best ways to connect)

5. Openness - "I will let people into my life" (Connection always requires both parties to engage and be open.)

6. Likability - "I will care about people" (If people like you, they will listen to you; if they don't, they won't.)

7. Humility - "I will think of myself less so I can think of others more" (If you want to impact people, don't talk about your successes; talk about your failures.)

8. Adaptability - "I will move from my world to theirs" (Don't tell people about you, begin by seeing things from their perspective.)

Do you see a pattern with each of these? Each of them is focused on the other person first. Each is suggesting we put aside our selfish desires to focus on the other. This is the way to connect.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3