Doing Life Together

Tuesday morning as I was leaving a breakfast meeting, I ran into an extremely nice lady whom I grew up across the street from. Though her husband has passed away several years ago, she still lives in the same house.

I hadn't seen her in several years so it was great to catch up. She looked absolutely great and she seemed in very good spirits. She mentioned to me that she was there for a breakfast meeting of her own. She shared with me that she's been meeting with the same ladies every week for breakfast for close to 50 years. She mentioned that three of her group have passed away but the remaining four still visit.

That's right, once each week they converge on the same restaurant to be with one another. Even if they don't feel like it and even if they are busy. She said, "Through rain, sleet or snow, we are here at 9 AM every Tuesday." It is obviously that important to them. Perhaps this might explain why she looked so great and was (and always has been since I've known her) in such a positive mood.

A great lesson for each of us. We were meant to do life in community. So who are you doing life with?

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:25

Leaders & Cheerleaders

I get a magazine each month called Sharing the Victory which is put out by Fellowship of Christian Athletes. It is a great read with some very inspiring and encouraging articles. This month was no exception.

This month's cover story is about the record-setting quarterback of the New Orleans Saints, Drew Brees. I highly recommend the article.

Les Steckel, FCA's President talked about Brees and the power of encouragement in his Coach's Corner segment of the magazine which I thought I'd share:

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say something a little controversial. I think Drew Brees is underpaid.

It’s OK if you disagree with that statement. I think I’m a little biased having coached NFL quarterbacks for so many years and seeing the amount of pressure and scrutiny they endured. Guys like Brees—true leaders in every sense of the word—have a certain kind of pressure on them that most of us will never understand. So, in my opinion, when you find a leader who is able to handle extremely high-pressure and split-second situations with such skill and grace, he (or she) is worth a big price tag.

In my travels, I often get one statement from those I meet: “So, tell me about leadership, Coach.”

As far as leadership in my own life, as a former officer in the United States Marine Corps, I personally follow the 11 leadership principles they teach. Some of those include knowing yourself and seeking self-improvement, setting an example, training your men as a team, and keeping the troops informed. But one other trait I’ve noticed in great leaders—particularly through sports—is that they are also the best cheerleaders.

Watch Drew Brees on the field before a game. He’s out there leading his team in a chant to get them fired up and ready to play. On more than one occasion this season, as you’ll read about in this month’s cover story, the Saints have been down by large margins and Brees has led them to comeback victories. How? By keeping his team encouraged and instilling in them the confidence they needed to rally and win.

“We can be powerful reminders to those around us of God’s power and the fact that He works for our good in all situations.”What a powerful lesson to apply to our lives as we begin 2010. Each of us is called to some form of leadership. Whether that is in our business, our classroom, our home, our sport or our ministry, we all are called to lead and govern in some way, even if it is small. How can we do that in a way that effectively inspires others and shows them the love of Christ? One way is for us to begin taking the words of the Apostle Paul seriously when he says to encourage and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Think about the people in your own life who have inspired and encouraged you through difficult situations. How great and wonderful it is to hear a timely “atta boy” or “you can do it” just when you need it the most. I imagine that all the players in a huddle with Drew Brees feel 10 times more capable of doing their jobs on the field after he has reminded them that they are skillful and talented athletes. As Christians, we can do the same thing for our brothers and sisters by encouraging them with truth from Scripture and by reminding them of who they are in Christ and what He is capable of doing through their trials. We can be powerful reminders to those around us of God’s power and the fact that He works for our good in all situations.

I want to challenge you this month to examine your own leadership skills in the area of encouragement. Try following the example of Drew Brees—one of the most effective Christian leaders in the game of football—and be a cheerleader and encourager for those you lead. Bless them by speaking the powerful truth of Christ into their lives and assuring them that, through His power and strength, they can achieve His great purposes. Who knows? You might find yourself being encouraged in the process.

The Push

Do you know anyone who knows they need to do something but they are afraid to step out? Perhaps it's starting that new business or talking to a large group or telling a parent they forgive them for hurts from the past. Maybe it's a high schooler staring at the phone for hours wondering if he should call that girl in his class and ask her out.

So do you know anyone like this? Is it you?

In either case, we can do something about it. The above video is a great example of how the encouragement of others can help someone to step out in faith. Oftentimes we think of encouragement as being a kind word; however, encouragement can also be a push.

In the video, the mother eagle wonders, "Why does the thrill of soaring have to begin with the fear of falling?" Though she had this question in her head, she knew the most loving thing she could do for her children was to give them a push out of the nest.

The same holds true for us. Do you need someone to give you a push? If so, find that person and ask them to help you. Also, be on the lookout for others who might need help. Then give them a push!

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

Encourage Someone Today

Have you ever felt down and been encouraged by someone? Perhaps it was a kind word or a gift. Maybe it was just them listening and understanding. Regardless, they made a difference in your life at that moment.

Check out the short video above for a reminder of the difference we can make in the lives of others through very simple acts.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...
1 Thessalonians 5:11a

Gather Together

I went for a walk late yesterday afternoon through my neighborhood and the neighborhood next door. As I turned a corner I heard what sounded like thousands of birds chirping. I looked around and spotted them all huddled together at the top of a tree. It wasn’t a thousand, but there were at least a hundred up there.

As I walked I thought that it was interesting that I didn’t see one single bird over here and another over there and one behind me. They were all gathered together. Kind of like how we are supposed to be.

1 Peter 5:8 tells us that Satan is like a roaring lion who roams around looking for someone to devour.

On any animal shows I have ever watched, when a predator (like a lion) is hunting it usually goes after the prey which is by itself. Those who are in a pack are much more difficult to get to.

When things are not going well for us we have a natural tendency to withdraw and be by ourselves until the storm blows over. Well, this is exactly what Satan wants. He wants us to be alone so that he can act like the lion on the animal shows and devour us.

Hebrews 10:25a says, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another…”

So gathering together is a lot more than just socializing. It is meant to protect us and to refuel our tanks, especially when we are down. So do that and encourage someone while you’re at it!

Lessons From The Wizard Of Oz

I received an email this morning with this short article about the Wizard of Oz from Will Craig, who writes about coaching others:

Most of us are familiar with the story of Dorothy and the friends she meets on her way to find the Wizard. The Scarecrow who felt he lacked a brain; the Tin Man who didn’t think he had a heart; and the Cowardly Lion who wished he had courage.

The Wizard (a man whose heart was in the right place but whose ethics needed some work) actually exercised some effective coaching skills at the end of the story.

For each of Dorothy’s three friends, he fostered a sense of belief that they, indeed, had those things they sought so desperately. He convinced the Scarecrow he was smart by giving him a diploma. The Tin Woodsman received his gift from the Wizard and knew he now had a heart because it was breaking. The Cowardly Lion became instantly courageous when he received his medal for bravery.

He then goes on in the article to talk about the power of believing in yourself. While that may be important, I believe there is an even more important lesson for each of us here.

The Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion all were down UNTIL someone spoke words of encouragement to them. It was that encouragement which lifted them up and allowed them to begin to believe in themselves.

This is true of many around us. They could be hurting and not even show it. Your encouragement could be exactly what they need to lift them up above the fog. So why not encourage someone today!

But encourage one another daily.

Hebrews 3:13a

Encouragement

"You can be better than me." Those were the words of former Ohio State quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Troy Smith to current Buckeye quarterback, Terrelle Pryor.

In a nice article in the Toledo Blade last Friday, it was revealed that Smith has reached out to the young Pryor to help him to deal with his many critics. Two weeks prior, Terrelle had turned the ball over four times in an upset loss to the Purdue Boilermakers and he was the subject of much criticism in Columbus and beyond.

In reading the article, it sounded like Pryor is very appreciative of the kind words of Smith. Based on his solid performance one game later against the Minnesota Golden Gophers, Smith's words might have been just what Pryor needed.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.

1 Thessalonians 5:11a

Suspended

My 13 year-old son Robbie, came home sobbing from school on Monday. It seems that someone in gym class came up behind him and choked him.

Later in the day I found out what led up to that. This kid was teasing Robbie and calling him names and not using nice language. Robbie said he was just ignoring it until after they ran the one mile run. Robbie said this other kid was teasing him about how slow he ran and started with more name calling. Robbie said he had had enough so he pushed him. That is when the other kid grabbed Robbie from behind in a choke hold.

Yesterday, the assistant principal talked to all the parties involved. Robbie ended up being suspended for a day because he pushed the other boy. The other kid was suspended for the remainder of this week. While I don't like my son being suspended, I think this is pretty fair.

I asked Robbie if being choked like that hurt. He said, "Yes, but not as much as being teased in front of everyone."

My heart ached for him and still does. This is more proof that our words are very powerful. They have the power to build others up or to tear them down.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 18:21

The Importance Of Your Team

I recently saw a great interview with G.J. Hart, President and CEO of Texas Roadhouse (pictured above). In the interview, Hart was being asked by the interviewer how he can justify spending the millions of dollars in this economy on a posh employee getaway in San Francisco for five days for 1,000 of the company's leaders.

Yes, they were planning on having some business meetings but they were also planning to have fun, and lots of it. They also had a day of service in the community planned (where they will invest over $1 million on this alone).

In justifying this, Hart said, "We want to recognize our front-line folks. We think it is absolutely a great return on our investment."

When asked how much he spends on this meeting, he said it was around $2.5 million, including the dollars invested into the community. He then said, "But in times like these, I'm not sure this is enough..."

I love this for a couple of reasons. One, it goes against conventional wisdom and what the world is saying ("we can't spend any money") and two, because he gets it when it comes to the importance of those on his team. He knows he needs to encourage and lift up those around him if his company is going to go well. This is so contrary to what many leaders feel.
Imagine if we did the same to those around us!

To see the interview, click here.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

Filled Up

I attended the funeral yesterday of my high school principal, Roy Becker. What an incredible guy!

He not only was my principal, but I also considered him a friend. While I was in school, and even after my high school years, he and I would occasionally play golf together. I remember thinking that golf was partly about scoring and mostly about how far I could hit the ball. Mr. Becker would simply dink it down the fairway, hit it up by the green, chip it close and make par while I flailed away trying to hit it a mile. He would continually beat me. Wisdom in action.

After I graduated, I became friends with his son Barry and we ended up working together for the same company for a few years.

Anyway, at yesterday’s service, all three of Barry’s children shared some things from their heart about what their Grandpa meant to them and how to have eternal life. They all did a great job!

Daniel, Barry’s second son, also spoke about how his Grandpa would continually make him feel great every time he was with him. He said that each time he would leave his Grandpa’s house, he felt “filled up.”

I thought that was an awesome thing to say. He felt filled up.

Wouldn’t that be a great thing that others might say about you at your funeral? “________ really filled me up whenever I was with them.”

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

Even Eagles Need a Push

"You never know when one act, or one word of encouragement can change a life forever."
Zig Ziglar

Have you ever known you needed to do something, but froze in fear of doing it? Have you ever had someone come alongside you and encourage you to just do it? Maybe they even gave you a push of sorts.

Afterwards you may have even looked back and said, "Wow, I am so glad they encouraged me to do that! That was just what I needed to do! I don't know what I was fearing!"

We all need people to push us because our natural tendency is to remain in our comfort zones. Yet, the only way we can grow is to get out of that comfortable space.

So, who do you allow to push you? If you can't think of anyone, I would suggest asking someone you respect. Who do you push and encourage? Again, find someone! As the above quote and video shows, it could change a life forever.

But let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching
Hebrews 10:25b

Compliment Guys

An article appeared in The Toledo Blade a few weeks ago highlighting the fact that two young men from Purdue University (one is from Toledo) spend time on campus giving compliments. Watch the video above to see them in action.

This is incredible on a couple of fronts. One, these two college students are actually thinking of others at that age. When I was in college, I was hardly ever thinking of anyone else other than me and I'm not sure if I knew anyone who did.

The second thing that struck me is that when watching this video, it seemed like some of their compliments were kind of shallow, such as "Hey I like your backpack." But even so, the people receiving these compliments actually seemed to be genuinely lifted up by them.

This showed me that people are starved for love and encouragement. So I encourage you to think about this and be on the lookout for someone you can compliment and encourage today. You never know...it may be the highlight of their day!

Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

Encouragement

Once ever two weeks or so, I have breakfast with a great friend and we help to hold each other accountable in certain areas of our lives. We eat at the same diner each time and are usually served by the same two waitresses.

This morning we were greeted by Wendy who was obviously not in a good mood. In fact, she was pretty mean which was not like her.

So when she brought our food to us, we told her that we were going to ask God to bless our food and that we wanted to pray for her. We then asked her how she would like to be prayed for. She told us and we did pray for her.

She came back about 10 minutes later and told us that she really appreciated the prayer and she said she was feeling much better. It was apparent to us that her mood had been lifted.

Her mood was more than likely improved because of the following two reasons:
1. God touched her heart and brought her peace as a result of our prayers
2. She was touched and encouraged that someone would actually pray for her.

This was a great lesson to me about how powerful it can be to ask if you can pray for someone, especially when they are down. Try it today, it might just be the encouragement someone needs!

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Who's In Your Network?

During our men's group this morning (we meet every Friday at 6 AM), one of the guys shared some pretty devastating news he received this week regarding one of his children. It broke my heart.

I know this was difficult for him to share, but I also know that he felt better for sharing it. He now knows he will have brothers praying for him and supporting him.

I was reminded of my life and how much I have grown by being involved with this group. Six years ago I never thought I would be a part of something like this. I certainly didn't want to share my troubles with anyone else because I wanted others to feel like I had it all together.

It wasn't until I experienced the freedom of being authentic in a group like this that I realized what I had been missing. The Bible tells us we are to be in community so that we can encourage others and so they can encourage us. I have witnessed the power of this in my life and in the lives of many others.

To take a line for a cell phone company, "Who's in your network?"

Encouragement

Last night in our home group through our church we discussed encouragement. We are instructed to encourage others frequently in the Bible.

During our study last night, I learned that we can encourage others in a lot of ways including:

- Listening to them
- Just being there for them
- Saying nice things to them
- Smiling at them
- Laughing with them
- A hug

We even discovered that the way we handle our struggles can be an encouragement to others.

All of these things have one thing in common, they all show love for others. And isn’t that what Jesus commands us to do?

So who are you going to encourage today and how will you do it?

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Are You An Adder Or A Subtractor?

I am on the Christian Emphasis Committee at my local YMCA. We had our monthly meeting yesterday afternoon. Doug, our chairman led the meeting off with something he read in a book from John Maxwell.

According to Maxwell, those who build others up, who encourage people and make others better can be called "adders." They add to the lives of others.

I like that term, "adders."

Taking a look on the opposite side of the fence, I suppose those who make excuses, who don't keep their commitments and talk poorly of others could be called "subtractors." They take away from the lives of others.

So are you going to be an adder or a subtractor today?

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Encouragement

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Have you ever been really in a tough spot or really down about something? Have you ever had someone do something or say something during one of those times that really encouraged you? It feels good doesn't it?

We are commanded to do that to one another, including those we work with - even if they drive us crazy!

As we approach the 60 year anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in baseball (April 15), I thought this story was very appropriate:

Jackie Robinson was one of the first African Americans to play major league baseball. In his first season with the Brooklyn Dodgers, Robinson faced hostility nearly everywhere he traveled because of his race. Pitchers threw fastballs at his head. Runners spiked him on the bases. Brutal epithets were written on cards and shouted by players in the opposing dugouts. Even the home crowds in Brooklyn saw him as an object of reproach.

While racial prejudice has declined since that time, it still is a factor in today’s society. During one game in Boston, the taunts and racial slurs seemed to reach a peak. To make matters worse, Robinson committed an error and stood at second base humiliated while fans hurled insults at him. Another Dodger, a Southern white man by the name of “Pee Wee” Reese, called timeout. He walked over to Robinson and, with the crowds looking on, put his arm around his friend’s shoulder. The fans grew quiet. Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his career. Jackie Robinson eventually went on to become one of baseball’s all-time greats.

Heroes appear under different names at different times and different circumstances, but from my perspective Pee Wee Reese was a hero and a gentleman. He did the right thing in the right way for the right reason. The bottom line is he saved one man’s career, increased the dignity of others, and as a practical matter was a significant factor in integration by his impact for his stand for fairness and justice. He was a difference maker for sure!

From Steve Goodier’s popular book, Prescription for Peace.