Pigeon Holed

My son is almost 13 and is going through some difficult things at school, including bullying. As a result, his confidence has been on the decline which concerns my wife and me. We have been doing a lot of praying and we have also been looking for things that can help him.

My son has a tendency to not want to get out of his comfort zone. This includes getting together with new potential friends or trying a new activity. Although, in almost all cases, he ends up having a lot of fun, he continues to struggle with this. Because of this I sometimes tend to "pigeon hole" him, or pre-suppose how he is...that he would prefer to be by himself or that he is just lazy. I then try to steer him accordingly into where I think God is taking him. However, if I am honest, I am probably steering him toward where I want him to go. I may do this more often than I care to admit with others as well.

Over the weekend I was reading Max Lucado's book, Cure for the Common Life, Living in Your Sweet Spot. In the book, Lucado said something that really got me thinking about this:

Pine trees need different soil than oak trees. A cactus thrives in different conditions than a rosebush. What about the soil and the environment of your child? Some kids love to be noticed. Others prefer to hide in the crowd. Some relish deadlines. Others need ample preparation and help. Some do well taking tests. Others excel with the subject, but stumble through the exam.

Rush Limbaugh made a D in public speaking, but today he relishes speaking into a radio microphone. The West Point algebra entrance exam nearly excluded Omar Bradley from military life. He squeaked into the academy in the next-to-lowest group, but he went on to earn the rank of a five-star general and oversee thousands of troops and millions of dollars in World War II. We each have different optimal conditions. What are your children's?

Pretty good stuff! This showed me that I need to not try to figure this out, especially with my kids. I need to be supportive and help my children to discover their gifts and their purpose. I guess I sometimes try to be God and steer my kids (and others) to where I want them to go. I must trust Him, that He has their best interests at heart and will guide them accordingly.

This also encouraged me that I don't have to "fix" the situations in others, that God is in control and He can use these in the lives of others. Now, it's my job to internalize it and live it out.