Definition of Success

I was asked way back in October, I think, by a friend of mine if I would come and speak to a group of business leaders. My friend owns a very successful business and he decided that he would gather business leaders together to hear speakers who can speak on different business topics. He felt this would encourage the community and could possibly even help his business. The first three of his get-togethers have been very successful with about 50 leaders at each event.

This morning was my turn to speak and I had been looking forward to it as this is something I really enjoy doing. When I woke up this morning I saw there was around an inch of fresh snow on the ground and it was very windy outside. I didn't think much of it though.

When I arrived, it became apparent that the blustery weather was keeping people home. By the name badges that were prepared, it looked like there was over 50 people registered. Yet, only a fraction of that showed, probably 15-20 people.

From my perspective, it appeared that the morning went very well. It seemed like everyone was engaged and having fun and I believe they all took something from our time together. In addition, many gave me some very nice feedback which is always nice.

On my way back to my office I was reflecting on my morning I received a revelation of sorts. Typically, I would have been quite discouraged that so few people showed up to hear me speak. I would have viewed the event as a failure. Today was different. I believe God is trying to teach me to change my definition of success. He wants me to just do my part and leave the results up to Him.

I have not "arrived" by any means, but for today I am trusting Him that the people that He wanted there were there. I am viewing the morning as a success. Thank you Lord!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Young Leaders

How many of you when you think about young people immediately have negative thoughts? How many of you think their work ethic is lacking? How many think their level of respect is well below the standard? My guess is that many feel this way.

I was asked to speak this morning before school to a group of student-athletes at Sylvania Northview High School (my alma mater). These kids gather together every Tuesday morning at 7:00 to honor God. They make up the school's huddle for Fellowship of Christian Athletes.

As I was interacting with this group, it dawned on me. These students are light years ahead of where I was at their age. I mean, there really is no comparison.

At that age, I was so concerned about what everyone thought of me. I knew nothing of God. I knew nothing about respecting and loving others. Here they are meeting early in the morning, to honor Christ. I'm sure they catch some flack from other students, yet they get together anyway. They are showing that they play to an audience of One. They are true leaders.

I am sure they asked me to come in to share something with them from my past experiences that might have a positive impact on them. I hope that happened. But I know for sure that they had an impact on me!

One thing I was reminded of is that I need to not be so quick to judge others, especially those younger than me. I don't know about you but that encourages me today and gives me great hope about the next generation!

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

1 Timothy 4:12

Faith in What?

Watching 40 year-old Brett Favre lead the Minnesota Vikings last night made me wonder if the guy was human. It seemed like he was being hit on every play and yet he kept getting up for more.

The Vikings eventually lost the NFC Championship game to the New Orleans Saints in overtime, but the memories of Favre's effort are etched in the minds of many.

So the question remains, "Will he really retire?" (He's retired and un-retired twice now). He has to be asking himself, "Will my body take another year of this pounding?" For him to continue playing, his body must be able to support him. Even though he seems super-human, the fact is that Brett Favre's body will eventually wear out.

This is where the problem lies with many of us. We put our trust in faulty support systems. We have faith that we will always have a job, that we won't run out of money, that we will always have particular talents and that our bodies will always be able to do what they do.

When we begin to lose these things or they start to deteriorate we find ourselves in trouble. We find that we have put our faith in the wrong things, in things that don't last.

There is only one thing that is eternal and that is Jesus. Put your faith in Him and you will be building your house on a firm foundation.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

Matthew 7:24-27

What the World Needs

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Howard Thurman

I listened in on a conference call yesterday afternoon to a writing "expert" being interviewed. She said that the biggest mistake that writers make is that they write a book without doing their market research to determine what is not being written about. She said you don't want to write about something that has been frequently written about.

On the surface, this makes sense. If you are writing your book for financial gain that sounds like pretty good advice. However, I believe the best advice would be to write what you're passionate about.

The same is true about what we do in life. That's why I love Howard Thurman's quote above so much. He's got it right. Each of us are wired in a unique way. We were crafted this way by God because He wants us to use the gifts and abilities He has given us to do the things that make us come alive while serving Him and others. When someone is operating in their "sweet spot," everyone is better off...that person and the world.

So when's the last time you asked yourself the question, "What makes me come alive?"

Friends

In my last post, I shared about the value of having people in your life who can challenge you, who will love you no matter what and who are committed to making you better. I just got back from breakfast with one of these people in my life. He is not just any friend, but someone I consider to be a true friend. I only have a few such friends--people I can share everything with and who I invite to speak into my life regularly.

Last week I was struggling with the feeling of being overwhelmed while trying to discern where God was leading me. It seemed like I had too many irons in the fire and I was sharing my frustration with my friend. Upon hearing this from me, he said, "Let's get together Saturday to process all this."

So we met Saturday morning...and then into the afternoon. It was an incredible time together and he really helped me to sort some things out and God revealed some great things to me during this time which gave me some clarity.

There were times during our meeting where I just was overwhelmed with emotion and thanksgiving. I was so thankful that God allowed people like him to be in my life. People who will love and accept me, despite all of my issues (of which there are many). People who are willing to give up part of their weekend to help me walk through some things.

On my drive back to my office this morning after my breakfast with this same friend, I reminded myself of how blessed I am to be surrounded with friends like these. I also thought, "Getting together with friends like this to support one another, now, this is doing church."

I share this with you today because I wanted to add something that was not discussed in my last post. Not only will these friends help you to improve in all areas of your life, but you will be incredibly blessed in the process.

If you don't have any friendships like this, my hope is that you would seek them out. These are not things that happen by accident. You must ask people to get together with you and if you feel a connection, then ask if they would be willing to meet regularly.

If you will do this, I promise you will be blessed in more ways than you can imagine.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:25

Accountability

In my post on Friday I talked about the different faces we all have: the public face, the private face and the personal face. I mentioned that the closer these three faces are to one another the more healthy we are and the more integrity we will have.

Saying we are going to work on this is one thing. Actually doing something about it is another.

One of the things I do for a living is to lead monthly roundtable groups of Christian business leaders. As part of each four hour session, we include a time of accountability. During this time, each member is to share what they want to accomplish during this next month in their personal life and in their business. They will then give a report next month on how they did. If they got it done, we celebrate. If not, they pay a penalty which is usual a stiff financial fine. This drives true change!

I bring this up because as humans, we all have a tendency to do the easy things first and to let the tough things slide. Bringing our three faces in line with one another is definitely not an easy thing and it is certainly not a natural thing for us to do. So, we will need help. We will need accountability.

We all need people in our lives who we can share everything with, who will love us anyway and will care enough about us that they will hold us accountable to doing what is right.

Do you have 1-3 people like this in your life? If not, I encourage you to seek them out.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Three Faces

In my men's group we are going through a study called Men's Fraternity. Men's Frat is a three year study led by Robert Lewis which is excellent. Our group is midway through our third year and this morning we discussed the things in our life that are adventure busters.

One of the things Lewis shared was that leading a "double life" can rob us of our adventure. He said this is something that is so subtle and it can easily creep up on us, especially if we are Christians.

The reason this is so for Christians is that oftentimes our three faces aren't very close to one another.

He said that each of us has three faces: the public face, the private face and the personal face. The public face is what everyone knows when they see us. The private face is what a few close to us know. The personal face is who we are at our core.

As Christians, oftentimes we put on this public face that is expected of us while inside we are really a mess--our personal face is totally different...our walk isn't matching our talk.

The closer these three faces are to each other, the more healthy we are.

I just looked up the definition of "integrity" and one of the definitions I found was this: "The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness." Being whole or undivided...interesting. In other words, not having a division between our three faces = integrity.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

James 1:5-8

Palindrome

A palindrome is a word, line or verse which reads the same backwards as forward. The above video shows some text which when read forward has the exact opposite meaning as when read backwards.

This is a video that apparently was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old. The contest was titled "u @ 50" by AARP and this video won second place. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant.

Take 1 minute and 44 seconds and watch it.

Leaders & Cheerleaders

I get a magazine each month called Sharing the Victory which is put out by Fellowship of Christian Athletes. It is a great read with some very inspiring and encouraging articles. This month was no exception.

This month's cover story is about the record-setting quarterback of the New Orleans Saints, Drew Brees. I highly recommend the article.

Les Steckel, FCA's President talked about Brees and the power of encouragement in his Coach's Corner segment of the magazine which I thought I'd share:

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say something a little controversial. I think Drew Brees is underpaid.

It’s OK if you disagree with that statement. I think I’m a little biased having coached NFL quarterbacks for so many years and seeing the amount of pressure and scrutiny they endured. Guys like Brees—true leaders in every sense of the word—have a certain kind of pressure on them that most of us will never understand. So, in my opinion, when you find a leader who is able to handle extremely high-pressure and split-second situations with such skill and grace, he (or she) is worth a big price tag.

In my travels, I often get one statement from those I meet: “So, tell me about leadership, Coach.”

As far as leadership in my own life, as a former officer in the United States Marine Corps, I personally follow the 11 leadership principles they teach. Some of those include knowing yourself and seeking self-improvement, setting an example, training your men as a team, and keeping the troops informed. But one other trait I’ve noticed in great leaders—particularly through sports—is that they are also the best cheerleaders.

Watch Drew Brees on the field before a game. He’s out there leading his team in a chant to get them fired up and ready to play. On more than one occasion this season, as you’ll read about in this month’s cover story, the Saints have been down by large margins and Brees has led them to comeback victories. How? By keeping his team encouraged and instilling in them the confidence they needed to rally and win.

“We can be powerful reminders to those around us of God’s power and the fact that He works for our good in all situations.”What a powerful lesson to apply to our lives as we begin 2010. Each of us is called to some form of leadership. Whether that is in our business, our classroom, our home, our sport or our ministry, we all are called to lead and govern in some way, even if it is small. How can we do that in a way that effectively inspires others and shows them the love of Christ? One way is for us to begin taking the words of the Apostle Paul seriously when he says to encourage and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Think about the people in your own life who have inspired and encouraged you through difficult situations. How great and wonderful it is to hear a timely “atta boy” or “you can do it” just when you need it the most. I imagine that all the players in a huddle with Drew Brees feel 10 times more capable of doing their jobs on the field after he has reminded them that they are skillful and talented athletes. As Christians, we can do the same thing for our brothers and sisters by encouraging them with truth from Scripture and by reminding them of who they are in Christ and what He is capable of doing through their trials. We can be powerful reminders to those around us of God’s power and the fact that He works for our good in all situations.

I want to challenge you this month to examine your own leadership skills in the area of encouragement. Try following the example of Drew Brees—one of the most effective Christian leaders in the game of football—and be a cheerleader and encourager for those you lead. Bless them by speaking the powerful truth of Christ into their lives and assuring them that, through His power and strength, they can achieve His great purposes. Who knows? You might find yourself being encouraged in the process.

Honoring God in Tough Circumstances

Last night the Texas Longhorns played the Alabama Crimson Tide in the National Championship game for college football. Alabama won the title 37-21.

In my last post, I closed with these words regarding Colt McCoy, Texas' star quarterback about his last collegiate game: "Colt, I hope and pray your light does shine for Him tomorrow night and beyond!"

McCoy was injured and knocked out of the game on the fifth play of the game which severely hindered the Longhorns. So, by all accounts it looked like Colt would not be able to let his light shine for God. However, that is not how it turned out. Check out the short video above to see how he glorified God in spite of the tough circumstances.

Way to go Colt!

The Real McCoy

Tomorrow, the Texas Longhorns take on the Alabama Crimson Tide for the National Championship in college football.

It was fitting that the Fellowship of Christian Athletes featured Texas' star quarterback, Colt McCoy, in an article and had him on the cover of their magazine. By the sounds of it, he is the real deal.

In the article, McCoy had this to say about his lofty position: “I realize God has given me this opportunity and that it’s a platform to shine the light for Him,” McCoy said. “I know I wouldn’t be here without Him. I want to be a guy people can look to and see Christ shining through me.”

What a great attitude.

You don't have to be a star quarterback to have this mindset, however. This is the same attitude we all should take on regardless of what we are doing. So whether you are a president of a company or you sweep floors, read Colt McCoy's statement again and make sure you apply this to your life.

Colt, I hope and pray your light does shine for Him tomorrow night and beyond!

"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Matthew 5:16

How's Your Thinking?

Yesterday afternoon I went to Massage Envy for my monthly massage, a practice I began a few months ago. I was with a new therapist who was recommended to me by a friend and as I asked her questions about her background, she revealed that she was from out of town and moved here about five years ago.

When I asked her how she liked Toledo, she said, "I love Toledo. They've got an awesome museum, a fantastic zoo. It's easy to get around. The people are friendly. There are lots of choices for schools. It's a great place!"

Wow! Was that ever refreshing to hear. I echo her comments as I, too, love living in this area. However, it seems that whenever I open up our newspaper or turn on the TV, I hear about how bad Toledo is. I also hear this from many that I know. They may complain about the cold in the winter and then complain that it's too hot in the summer. Or it might be that it is so grey in the winter, then it too bright in the summer or any number of other things.

I was reminded of a story I heard in which a guy pulls up at a gas station heading into town. He asks the attendant, "Are the people friendly in the town up ahead? I'm moving there from out of town."

The attendant replied, "What were the people like in your old home town?"

"They were the most unfriendly people you've ever seen. They were downright mean."

"Well, I'm afraid the people in this town are the same way."

About an hour later another car pulled up, "Are the people friendly in the town up ahead? I'm moving there from out of town."

"What were the people like in your old home town?"

"They were great people, very friendly and welcoming."

"That's exactly the type of people who live here as well!"

So how's you're thinking?

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

The Push

Do you know anyone who knows they need to do something but they are afraid to step out? Perhaps it's starting that new business or talking to a large group or telling a parent they forgive them for hurts from the past. Maybe it's a high schooler staring at the phone for hours wondering if he should call that girl in his class and ask her out.

So do you know anyone like this? Is it you?

In either case, we can do something about it. The above video is a great example of how the encouragement of others can help someone to step out in faith. Oftentimes we think of encouragement as being a kind word; however, encouragement can also be a push.

In the video, the mother eagle wonders, "Why does the thrill of soaring have to begin with the fear of falling?" Though she had this question in her head, she knew the most loving thing she could do for her children was to give them a push out of the nest.

The same holds true for us. Do you need someone to give you a push? If so, find that person and ask them to help you. Also, be on the lookout for others who might need help. Then give them a push!

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

Foiled Plans

On Saturday morning I left to fly to Dallas to meet three of my best friends from high school (pictured above). One lives in Dallas and the others live in Charlotte and Seattle. We haven't all been together for over 20 years.

The catalyst in all this was that the Dallas Cowboys were hosting the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday and Walt, our friend in Dallas had tickets to the game. The three out-of-towners all booked our flights to come in Saturday morning and to depart Sunday evening after the game which was scheduled for a Noon kickoff. We all were able to book our flights using frequent flier miles so things were working out very well.

We were all very excited to see each other and to check out Dallas' new stadium.

A week ago today, Walt called me and said, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we've got a great game to see this weekend (the game now had significant playoff implications). The bad news is that because it's such a great game the NFL has moved it to a 3:15 start." Not good. If we attended the game, we would all miss our flights home.

We all scrambled to try to look for different outgoing flights so we could see that game. It was not going to work for all of us, however, so we decided to stick with our original flights and just skip the game. Truthfully this wasn't a huge deal as the main thing we wanted to do was just get together, but it sure would have been nice to see the new stadium.

Saturday, I arrive in Dallas and find out that Walt had tickets to the Cotton Bowl which would also be played in Dallas' new stadium on the day of our arrival. So, we attended that game which was a lot of fun (Ole Miss beat Oklahoma State by the way). This worked out great for me as I am much more of a college football fan than pro anyway. Plus we got to marvel at this incredible stadium with the world's largest video screen (remember, they do everything BIG in Texas - it is 160' X 72').

The entire weekend was fantastic and last night I began my journey home. At the airport in Dallas I asked the attendant at the counter if there was anything available in an exit row. She said there was not. For those who don't know me, I'm 6'8" tall and I don't really fit in a regular coach seat. I could not remember the last time I didn't have an exit row or bulkhead seat so I was not looking forward to this flight.

After entering the plane, I folded up my legs and got in my seat and after we were in the air a few minutes began a conversation with a very nice lady sitting next to me. Well, we ended up talking the entire flight which totally distracted me from my uncomfort.

There were quite a few connections between us. She is an author, I'm an author. She is involved in ministry, I'm involved in ministry. She is a business owner, I'm a business owner. It went on and on. The flight seemed to take no time at all.

In retrospect, I can now see why God did not make a way for me to change my seats--I would have missed this "divine appointment."

This whole weekend, from the football game situation to my flight was a great reminder to me that I need to stop complaining about circumstances and trust that God knows what is best for me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6