12-3-1

Yesterday, Dean, my pastor shared with us about Jesus and the model He gave us for relationships. He said that in Jesus' outer circle were many people. One circle inside of that contained less people who regularly heard Jesus’ teachings. One circle inside that one contained His 12 disciples. Then inside of that was a circle of three: John, James and Peter. Then there was one more circle which contained John.

Jesus spent more time with each group of people as He went toward the middle. John, He shared everything with. John is actually referred to as the one He loved (John 19:26-27 among other places). It wasn’t that Jesus didn’t love anyone else—that is totally not true. It was just that John had a special relationship with Jesus. He was the one Jesus let get closer than any other.

Dean went on to say that this is an excellent model for each of us. 12-3-1. It would be good for each of us to have a group of around 12 people who have access to our lives and that we can “do life” with. Further, it would be great to have 2-3 people who can keep us on track. Then, to have one who has complete access to our life would be wonderful. We were meant to do life together, in community.

There were eight friendship roles discussed that we should each look for in our lives:

1. Coach – Who brings out the best in me?
2. Thinking – Who challenges my mind?
3. Listening – Who hears my dreams and my heart?
4. Sympathetic – Who cries with me?
5. Laughing – Who belly-laughs with me?
6. Correcting – Who respects me?
7. Playing – Who has fun with me?
8. Seeking – Who deepens my faith?

Answering these questions was a great exercise for me for two reasons. One, it showed me how incredibly blessed I am with the people that God has placed in my life. And, two, it revealed a couple of gaps that I have in my relationship roles that I need to fill.

I encourage you to answer these questions, then to seek to fill in the gaps.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17

Friends

In my last post, I shared about the value of having people in your life who can challenge you, who will love you no matter what and who are committed to making you better. I just got back from breakfast with one of these people in my life. He is not just any friend, but someone I consider to be a true friend. I only have a few such friends--people I can share everything with and who I invite to speak into my life regularly.

Last week I was struggling with the feeling of being overwhelmed while trying to discern where God was leading me. It seemed like I had too many irons in the fire and I was sharing my frustration with my friend. Upon hearing this from me, he said, "Let's get together Saturday to process all this."

So we met Saturday morning...and then into the afternoon. It was an incredible time together and he really helped me to sort some things out and God revealed some great things to me during this time which gave me some clarity.

There were times during our meeting where I just was overwhelmed with emotion and thanksgiving. I was so thankful that God allowed people like him to be in my life. People who will love and accept me, despite all of my issues (of which there are many). People who are willing to give up part of their weekend to help me walk through some things.

On my drive back to my office this morning after my breakfast with this same friend, I reminded myself of how blessed I am to be surrounded with friends like these. I also thought, "Getting together with friends like this to support one another, now, this is doing church."

I share this with you today because I wanted to add something that was not discussed in my last post. Not only will these friends help you to improve in all areas of your life, but you will be incredibly blessed in the process.

If you don't have any friendships like this, my hope is that you would seek them out. These are not things that happen by accident. You must ask people to get together with you and if you feel a connection, then ask if they would be willing to meet regularly.

If you will do this, I promise you will be blessed in more ways than you can imagine.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:25

It's The Network

Yesterday afternoon, my wife, Connie, went into our garage and was startled by a rather large black dog. It seems the dog was startled too, as it ran out the door when my wife appeared. Connie went outside and called the dog over. She came over, panting and looking for some water and some love. I got a water dish and my wife began to pet the dog who immediately turned over on her back so Connie could rub her belly. What a cool dog!

She had no collar so we didn't know who she belonged to. Connie arranged to have her kept in our neighbor's fenced-in yard and she made up a couple of signs to put at the entrance to our neighborhood and the neighborhood next to us.

Later that day, Connie was talking with Lori, another neighbor, and happened to ask if she knew of anyone who owned a black labrador. Lori did not.

Several hours later, the dog's owners were walking our neighborhood asking anyone they saw if they had seen their dog. Lori's husband was outside and told them he had not seen her. A little later, he mentioned it to Lori who immediately ran outside to tell the the dog owners who had their dog.

Mystery solved...and done so strictly through networking. Had Connie not said anything to Lori, who knows when the dog would have been found.

Just a reminder to us that:
1. We need to surround ourselves with others
2. It's OK to ask for help
3. If you have something to share, share it...whether it is something you are struggling with or really good news, like the love Jesus has for them!

Friends

Have you ever watched Animal Planet or a similar show where a cheetah or lion is hunting a zebra or other animal? Have you ever noticed which animal the hunter goes after? It is usually the one who is isolated and not with the rest of the pack.

We have an enemy who does the same thing. In fact, 1 Peter 5:8 tells us to "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

When things are tough we have a tendency as humans to isolate ourselves...and that is exactly what our enemy wants! That makes his job much easier. That is why I was not surprised by the New York Times story written by Tara Parker-Pope in which she said that having good friends can help you to recover from illness faster, make tough jobs easier and actually help you to have a longer life.

We were made by God to be in community. Friends offer us guidance when we need it. Friends listen when we need to vent. Friends help to protect us.

So who are you doing life with?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Community

Last night I went in my oldest daughter's (she's 20) room to say good night and to give her a kiss. She had a friend over and they were both sitting cross-legged on the bed just talking. They had been in there for a couple of hours and when I went in it looked like they were having a blast.

I thought that was very cool. As I am getting ready to leave for a breakfast appointment with a good friend and former co-worker, I am struck by how similar both of our encounters will be.

My daughter's took place sitting in her bedroom while mine will be in a restaurant. However, they both involve community and doing life together. I am looking forward to getting together with my friend because I haven't seen him in a while and I can't wait to catch up on what is going on in his life.

It didn't used to be this way for me. I used to do my best to not let anyone in. I especially didn't want anyone to know my secrets or my failures. Once I got over myself and began to share myself, the good, the bad and the ugly, I found freedom.

I encourage you to do the same!

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Community

Have you ever watched one of those animal shows on TV? You know, the ones where they show a cougar or lion prowling around and then pursuing it's prey? Have you ever noticed how the hunter chooses which of the animals it will attack?

It is almost always the animal that is not with the group...the one that is isolated. That is because the lion or cheetah or whatever knows that there is safety in numbers. The Bible tells us that Satan prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8b). As a result, he tries to isolate us to make his job easier.

Have you ever said, "I don't need help"? I sure have. That is pride and that is exactly what the enemy wants from us.

This weekend at church, my pastor shared how Jesus did community and it was based on the numbers 12-3-1. He chose 12 to be his friends/disciples. Of those 12, he had three who he invested even more in (James, Peter and John). And of those three, he had one that he could share anything with and that was John.

In Truth At Work we have seen the incredible power of this concept played out. Not only is there protection in being in a group, great ideas and revelation can come out of sharing together as well. Think about what could happen if 10-15 like-minded individuals committed to get together regularly to hold each other accountable and to generate ideas--very powerful.

Jesus knew that he needed community...he needed help. If that was the case for Jesus, don't you think the same holds true for us? So, who are your 12, three and one that you will allow into your life?

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12b

Friendly Advice

Yesterday, Derek, a friend of mine from Brighton who is a business owner and an Independent Business Advisor for Dan Kennedy came to my home for a couple hours to offer me some free coaching on my different business endeavors.

It was a wonderful time and Derek shared some great insights and ideas that should really help me. Some of his advice was not easy as he shared some things he believes I can drastically improve. I am not sure why he did this other than he is a good friend who believes in some of the stuff I am doing and he truly wants to help. He normally would charge around $500 for a session like this if it were held at his office.

He not only did this at no charge, but he offered to drive the 60+ miles to my place. He told me it was an excuse for him to enjoy a ride on his Harley but I know better. He was just doing it to serve me. He took over 4 hours including travel time out of his hectic schedule to help me. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for this.

I feel so blessed and so undeserving of this sort of help. It truly is humbling. Thank you Lord!

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 27:6

Friendship

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

Tuesday evening I left for Indianapolis to check out a career option that God has been steering me toward. It is something that complements a lot of the other stuff I have been doing so I was excited about the trip.

I thought it would be helpful to have a friend with me who could offer me wise counsel and could serve as another set of eyes and ears. I asked Bob, who was a teammate of mine at UT. He and I have been friends for a while but our friendship has been rekindled over the past four years or so since he has moved back into town.

Bob is a business owner in Toledo and he is a tremendous leader - in his business, in the community and at home. He is also an incredible husband and father. Though he is shorter than me, I really look up to him.

I know that Bob is extremely busy, not only running a business but also trying to keep up with his four boys and their athletic events. Despite that, Bob said he would accompany me on the trip.

Our trip was very worthwhile and was very helpful to me as we had a great meeting on Wednesday. However, the best part of the trip may have been the three and a half hour drive each way with Bob.

Though he is a year younger than me, I am amazed at his wisdom. I learned much just in our conversation. I consider him a mentor of mine and I count him as a true friend. Thanks Bob, I am very grateful for your sacrificial love and going with me!

As I think about Bob and my other great friends I feel so incredibly blessed. I hope and pray I can be a friend like that to others.

True Friendship

Check this out--friendship in any language...

Wouldn't you like a friend like that? I challenge you to be that friend to someone - after all the best way to get a friend like that is to be one yourself!

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:10