Talking Others Up

I heard a great prayer the other day, "Lord, help me to be the man my dog thinks I am!"

This reminded me of my late mentor, John Savage. When I graduated from college, he took an interest in me and met regularly with me to help me navigate life. From time to time, I would see him in a restaurant with some of his peers. He would always introduce me to his friends and say glowing things about me. I had to resist the urge to look over my shoulder to see if he was talking about someone behind me because I didn't believe what he was saying was true.

The bottom line is that John believed in me...even more than I did. This had a great impact on me. I desired, I mean I really wanted to live up to what John said about me. I wanted to be the person he thought I was. I'm not sure if it was because I didn't want to disappoint him or if there was another reason. But no matter, the point is that his positive comments about me helped to make me want to grow, to become better.

Because of the way John Savage "talked me up" to others and the impact this had on my life, I try to do this to others as well. So who can you "talk up" today?

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Others First

My 14 year-old son, Robert, and I have been reading a chapter each week in John Maxwell's book, Winning with People. It has been a great time together learning some really good stuff. Here is an excerpt from the chapter we read this past Sunday:

I recently read an article about actress Angelina Jolie. The catalyst for her change in perspective was a script. Jolie, who won an Oscar in 1999 for her role in Girl, Interrupted, could have been the poster girl for a life adrift. The child of actors Jon Voight and Marcheline Bertrand, she had grown up in Hollywood and indulged many of its excesses. She was called a "wild child." And she was well known for drug usage, outrageous behavior, and sometimes self-destructive actions. She was convinced she would die young.

"There was a time where I never had a sense of purpose, never felt useful as a person," says Jolie. "I think a lot of people have that feeling--wanting to kill yourself or take drugs to numb yourself out because you can't shut it off or you just feel bad and you don't know what it's from."

Success in movies did little to help her. "I felt so off balance all the time," admits Jolie. "I remember one of the most upsetting times in my life was after I had attained success, financial stability and I was in love, and I thought, 'I have everything that they say you should have to be happy and I'm not happy.'"

But then she read the script for Beyond Borders, the story of a woman living a life of privilege who discovers the plight of refugees and orphans around the world. Jolie recalls, "Something in me really wanted to understand what the film was about, these people in the world , all these displaced people and war and famine and refugees." For a year she traveled around the world with UN workers. "I got my greatest life education and changed drastically," she observes. She visited camps in Sierra Leone, Tanzania, Cote d'Ivoire, Cambodia, Pakistan, Namibia, and Thailand. Her entire perspective changed. She realized that the entire world was made up of other people, many of whom were in dire circumstances, many of whom she could help.

When the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees asked her to become goodwill ambassador in 2001, she was happy to do it. She also began donating money to help refugees and orphans, including $3 million to the UN's refugee program. (She says she makes a "stupid amount of money" to act in movies.) And she adopted a Cambodian orphan, Maddox. Recently Worth magazine listed her as one of the twenty-five most influential philanthropists in the world. She estimates she gives almost a third of her income to charity.

Jolie puts it all into perspective: "You could die tomorrow and you've done a few movies, won some awards--that doesn't mean anything. But if you've built schools or raised a child or done something to make things better for other people, then it just feels better. Life is better." Why does she feel that way? Because she finally gets the big picture. She stopped focusing on herself and began putting other people ahead of herself.

The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Galatians 5:14

Listen First

A man enters a cocktail lounge and goes directly to the bartender. "Do you have anything that will cure the hiccups?" he asks. Without a word the bartender slaps him across the face with a wet rag.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" the surprised man shouts.

The bartender smiles and says, "Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"

The man replies, "I never did. I wanted something to help my wife who's in the car."

Who do you relate to in this story? Hopefully not the bartender. Unfortunately, I am like the bartender way too often. When someone is talking to me, I have a tendency to jump to conclusions before they are done. I'm especially guilty of this when listening to my wife.

I am trying to discipline myself to not only listen, but to ask clarifying questions before coming to a conclusion or giving an answer. I am working on being more patient and holding my tongue until I have all the facts. How about you?

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Proverbs 17:28

Shhhh...

Today is my favorite day of October. Not because it's the 22nd, but because it is the day I scheduled my monthly retreat.

Earlier this year I began the process of getting away for most of a day to worship, pray, listen and whatever else I feel led to do (read, write, plan, etc...). I have been going to a cabin in the woods in a beautiful setting.

It just so happens that today's retreat comes at an interesting time. I am extremely busy right now and a big part of me would rather stay in my office and plow through some of the things I'd like to get done. However, experience has shown me that these times of quiet listening have been some of the most productive times I have (which goes totally against my nature).

So, I am going to trust God that He is going to show up in a mighty way today. I can't wait!

"Be still and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:10a

You Can't Have A Testimony Without The Test

As mentioned in my last post, I participated as a table leader for the Walk to Emmaus this past weekend. At my table were five other individuals, many of which had experienced some severe life tests.

During one of the discussions, I asked the table, "Why do you think God wants to use us to reach others on earth, when we are all so messed up?" One of the guys at the table, who had perhaps lived the most difficult life, responded by saying, "Because we are messed up." He went on to say that because of his tests, he will now be able to help people who are going through similar things. He was absolutely right.

I have heard it said that God never wastes a hurt. He will use it for good. The fact is, it's impossible to have a testimony without the test.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

All Things Are Possible

Sunday night I returned home from a Walk to Emmaus (based on the story in Luke 24:13-35) where I was serving on the team. This is a 72 hour (3 day) spiritual renewal weekend which is truly something that words cannot describe. This was my third "walk" including the time I was a participant over five years ago. This time I had the privilege of being a table leader whose role is to facilitate the discussions about the different talks we heard.

Though I got very little sleep and was away from my family, this time away was so worth it. I got to experience God's hand at work. It was as if I got to watch the Holy Spirit at work! (If you have never been on one of these, I HIGHLY recommend it--it is life changing!)

There were over 50 guys together for this weekend sitting at eight tables. On Friday morning we were assigned to our tables. At the Table of Matthew were myself and five other guys, all from totally different backgrounds. Some were young. Some old. Some were quiet. Some loud. Some have been law-abiding citizens. Others had been to prison multiple times or seriously involved in drugs. That morning I looked around at this group and I thought that there was no way that this group would like each other, let alone come together.

Over Saturday afternoon, there was a time when I thought that things were not going well. It seemed that some of the guys were getting on other's nerves. Then throughout the rest of the weekend's events, God did something amazing.

On Sunday morning our table had a time of prayer in which each member thanked God for what He had done in their hearts. Many shared that they were so thankful that God had softened their hearts toward one another and brought us together as a unit. They were so thankful that God had placed them at the Table of Matthew.

Just another reminder that "with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26b)

Wise Counsel

At the beginning of the year I began on a new book project that I am very excited about. I am still searching for a title but the overall premise of the book is how to find peace in the midst of chaos. The title I have right now is The Quest for Peace, How to Remain Calm in This Chaotic World (By the way, I am open to title suggestions--please add them in the comments section!).

This summer I finished with the first draft and gave it to several people to get their editorial feedback. I had asked for comments on any theological issues they have, any places where it seemed slow or boring and any places where there wrer grammatical errors or typos. I asked that they get back to me by this past weekend. So, Monday I spent a good portion of my day pouring over the comments and suggestions.

What I found amazing was that very few people had the same corrections when it came to spelling or grammar issues. It seemed that most errors were only found by one person while they were skipped over by the others. When combined, I had quite a few corrections to make and I was so thankful that all five of the readers had provided their input. Even though the book has several more stages to go through, had I only asked a couple of people or, worse yet, had I not asked for any help, this book would have probably contained many errors.

The same holds true in our lives. When faced with a tough decision, it is wise to get other trusted advisers involved.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 15:22

We All Have Faith

Have you ever heard someone described as a "man of faith" or as a "woman of faith"? Sure, we all have.

For some reason I was thinking about this while driving on a trip with my son a week or so ago. We happened to be traveling at dusk over a two-lane road in Indiana which was anything but straight. I have to admit that it was a little frightening with the oncoming traffic coming at us and being somewhat difficult to see.

I realized that the only way I could continue on was if I had faith that the driver coming at us would remain on his or her side of the yellow line. The same is true for all of us. We all have to exercise faith everyday just to function...even if it is only faith in someone else to do what they are supposed to do.

In other words, we are all men and women of faith.

The real question is, what are we placing our faith in? If we place our faith in man, we will eventually (and always) be disappointed. However, we can be assured of one thing. If God promised it, you can always count on it, even if it seems impossible.

Forsaking
All
I
Trust
Him

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.

Psalm 118:8

Welcome to Churchville

I Was recently emailed this parable that was originally published by SalvationLife. While this is written to be a lesson to the local church, the same exact principle holds true in our workplaces and everywhere we find ourselves.

Welcome to Churchville, Population 10. (Generally very good and likeable people.)
An exciting opportunity has come to Churchville, as electricity has become available to the residents.
Time passes, and a very interesting thing happens. Half of the residents of Churchville take advantage of the availability of electricity by bringing it into their homes. One of these comes to believe so strongly in the benefits of electricity that he (upper left) is willing to give anything for the sake of electricity and deeply desires for all of his neighbors to come to experience it as he has. The four others who have connected to electricity are also enthusiastic about it. It has dramatically changed how they live their everyday lives. This "connected" half of Churchville's population all exhibit a love of electricity and a high degree of hospitality toward and concern for their neighbors.

But half of the residents of Churchville never chose to connect their homes to the available electric current, and they have varying reasons. One of them simply isn't convinced that electricity exists. He says that his neighbors who claim to have electricity in their homes are just fooling themselves with wishful thinking. Yet, even though he thinks these five neighbors of his are living under a delusion, he remains in Churchville rather than leaving, because it's a good place to be.

The other four of our non-electric residents are a bit more of a puzzle. They believe in electricity, but for whatever reason still have yet to make the appropriate arrangements for it to come into their home. The most notable thing, though, was three of these four seem to be unaware that they are living without electricity! They talk and often act as if they have it in their homes, even to the point of occasionally buying an appliance or sending the electric company money for the bill they think they owe. (One of them even volunteers to serve on the board of the electric company.) Yet these three continue to go on with their electricity-less lives, with no realization that they could be living any differently.

Only one of the non-electric residents notices the gap between how she is living and what her life would be like with electricity. One of the "connected" neighbors gave her a light bulb, and she really wants more light in her house. Neighbors and electric company workers are confident that she will make the necessary arrangements and become connected soon.

So what's the point of the parable? I am a big fan of the REVEAL Spiritual Life Survey for churches. It seeks to give church leaders a measurable way of looking at how effectively they help people grow. Our church participated almost two years ago, and will take our second survey this fall to see how we have improved.

Our results indicate that somewhere close to 1/2 of our people have yet to significantly arrange their lives in ways that would make growth in their love for God and others natural. Also, of these, only about 1 in 5 recognize that things should be different.

Of all of the things that are presented to church leaders as worthy of our time and energy, nothing is more essential than this: modeling and communicating how profoundly good it is to live our lives fully in the kingdom of God, so that any others who desire to do so will know how, and that others will have a more accurate understanding of what it is they're being invited to in the Christian life.

"Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news: 'It's time. The kingdom of God is now available. Change your mind and direction and believe the good news." (Mark 1:15, paraphrase)

A Good Name

My son Robbie and I just returned from a weekend trip to Champaign, Illinois where we watched the Buckeyes from Ohio State barely beat the Fighting Illini from Illinois. It was a very fun weekend!

On the way home this morning, we were looking for a place to stop for breakfast. We passed by a couple of local diners that looked to me like they would be worth trying but Robbie said, "No, I'd really rather wait to try to find a Bob Evans." It took us quite a while but we finally found one and enjoyed a great, and really big, breakfast (and one that probably didn't help our arteries much).

Robbie knew what he was getting with Bob Evans regardless of the city we were in. He knew they had a good name so he was willing to wait.

That is a very good thing for a company. It is, perhaps, an even greater thing for an individual. In fact, the Bible says it is better than having great riches. So how is your name?

A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver and gold.

Proverbs 22:1