Dream On

My 12 year-old son Robbie has a tendency to shy away from trying new things. This includes food and activities.

I would venture a guess that 95% of the time (and I'm being conservative) when he tries something new to eat, he likes it...a lot. This after telling us over and over, "Yuck, I hate that."

Getting him to try something to eat is much easier than getting him to try some activity for the first time. For years, the first basketball practice was a real challenge. I would literally have to take him kicking and screaming to practice...and I have always been his coach! Then once he got there, he had a blast.

This past year I have been talking with him a lot about the discovering the gifts God has given him. I have noticed that he has this ability to entertain others. When I have eaten lunch with him at school, I have noticed all his classmates tend to ask him questions so they can hear what he has to say. Then they will laugh most of the time.

He had an opportunity to be a part of a lip synch performance at his school. My wife and I encouraged him to enter. At first he said he didn't want to. Then, finally he did. He decided to do "Dream On" by Aerosmith (he has gotten into classic rock lately--which I'm loving!).

The performance was today. As Connie and I watched the performances leading up to his, I have to admit, I was wishing I didn't encourage him to do this. I thought it was going to be embarrassing. I was praying that God would use this to encourage him in his gifts, but I still lacked some faith.

When his turn came, he took the stage in his wig and toting his Guitar Hero guitar. I admit, I am a little biased, but he brought the house down. It was hysterical and he obviously had a lot of fun.

The video is posted above. Unfortunately, I was unable to get as close as I would like so you can't really see his face too well, but you can get a feel for how he did.

Robbie has agreed that he wants to find his gifts and use them for God's purposes. Yet, this was hard. But he did it. He tried something new, he did his best and he did it for God. I am very proud of him!

We can all learn from my son. What has God gifted you at? Are you using that to glorify Him?

Carpe Diem!

Yesterday was my son, Robbie's 12th birthday and this Sunday, my 2nd oldest daughter Molly graduates from High School. Man do I feel old!

Last night, Mike, a good friend of mine stopped by and he was talking about how his 3 year-old son has been trying his patience. I told him, "this too shall pass. In fact, it will pass before you even know it." I then explained about my son's birthday and my daughter's imminent graduation and how it seemed like yesterday that they were both three.

This morning as I was showering, a song by Casting Crowns came on titled "Who Am I?" In the song are the following lyrics:

I am a flower quickly fading; here today and gone tomorrow; a wave tossed in the ocean; a vapor in the wind.

How appropriate!

Os Hillman has said that our lives when compared to eternity are like a cup of coffee poured into the ocean from an airplane--pretty inconsequential. I agree. Our lives (and the lives of our kids) are but a mere vapor. So we must make the most of them!

Carpe Diem!

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14

The Only Constant Is Change

Doesn't it seem like the only thing that is a constant is change? Everything changes it seems, especially the prices at the gas pump!

Leading a group to change can be very difficult but it doesn't need to be. This simple 3 minute video shares some great truths about leading through change. Check it out here.

A Little Dirt

When I was playing basketball at the University of Toledo, my coach, Bob Nichols would constantly talk to us about the importance of overcoming adversity. He would tell us that adversity will come, that is guaranteed; but the key was how we handled it.

Most of the time I wouldn't pay much attention to him. I was in college and I thought I had life all figured out. As I have grown older and hopefully a little wiser I now understand that what Coach Nichols was talking about was absolutely correct.

I was reminded of this when I received this in an email from David Jeremiah:

A little girl walking in a garden saw a particularly beautiful flower and promptly picked it because she felt it was too pretty to be in the dirt. She then took the flower home and rinsed the dirt off with water. Shortly thereafter, the flower wilted and died. When the owner of that garden saw what the little girl had done, he exclaimed, "You have destroyed my finest plant!" "I'm sorry, but I didn't like it in all that dirt," said the girl. The gardener responded by saying, "I chose that spot and mixed the soil because I knew that only there could it grow to be a beautiful flower."

Sometimes we become like that little girl, fixated on the dirt of our life instead of seeing the beauty and growth that will emerge in time. But once we have experienced seeing the hand of God in our life, we have assurance that we can trust Him in His sovereignty. So, if it feels like nothing good will ever come out of what you are going through, be patient and steadfast, knowing that God "plans to give you a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

Playin' Hooky- Part II

Yesterday was my dad's 70th birthday. He lives in Toledo, but he was traveling back from Tennessee where he was vacationing and he was planning to stop in Cincinnati to have dinner with my sister Julie who lives there. They were then going to spend the night there and return home today.

While I was at the Mud Hens game yesterday (see yesterday's post), my very spontaneous sister, Katy calls me at Noon to say, “How would you like to do something on a whim and go to Cincinnati today to have dinner with dad?”

Totally out of character (spontaneity is not my strong suit), I said, “I’ll think about it and call you back soon.”

Believe it or not, I was leaning toward going right away but I had to think about what I had on my schedule since I didn’t have it with me. A half hour later, I called Katy and said, “I’m in!”

She said, “That is so cool! Julie just told me that there was no way you would go so she will be so surprised.”

As a result, I found myself comfortably perched in the front seat of Katy’s car heading south at 3:30 yesterday afternoon along with my two sisters from Toledo and my wife Connie.

We did make it home around 2:15 AM this morning so I am not running on all cylinders this morning but it was well worth the trip! We had an awesome time and my dad was so surprised. The picture above shows my Dad with my three sisters and me.

As I get older, God has been working on me in helping me to be more spontaneous. He is helping me to realize that relationships and building memories matter a whole lot more than stuff on my "to do" list.

Note: for those of you who think I'm getting out of control, don't worry, I still have a long way to go! But at least this is a start.

Playin' Hooky

I love the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off (pictured above). This is probably because of the fact that I am not very good at relaxing and I admire people who have an attitude like Ferris. I'm not sure why I struggle to relax, but it's the truth.

I am getting better though. For the second time in a week I'm playing hooky.

Last Friday I took my son Robbie (turns 12 next week) out of school and we spent some time at Wildwood Metropark. He says we hiked. I think it was more like a walk, although I'm not sure I know the difference. In any case, we traversed the grounds for about an hour on a beautiful afternoon.

Then because we burned up so many calories and needed to put them back, we stopped at Handel’s for some incredible banana cream pie ice cream. It was a great afternoon.

This morning, Connie and I are going with Robbie and his classmates to watch the Toledo Mud Hens against the Louisville Bats. I can't wait!

Ben Franklin

I love good quotes. I think there is so much we can learn from them.

One of the most quotable of people in America's history is Ben Franklin. Here are just a few of his nuggets of wisdom (I challenge you to chew on these today):

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."

"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security, will deserve neither and lose both."

"Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late."

"All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immoveable, those that are moveable, and those that move."

"Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning."

"Take time for all things: great haste makes great waste."

"He does not possess wealth; it possesses him."

"Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today."

"Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing."

"Well done is better than well said."

If you are also a fan of good quotes, check out this movie.

Sweating The Small Stuff

On Sunday evening I was shutting down my laptop when I noticed that my Microsoft Outlook program was acting funny. I closed it and then re-opened it and I received an error message saying something was not right. As a result, I could not open up the program which contains all my emails and my calendar, etc…

Needless to say, this put a damper on my evening, then my day on Monday.

On Sunday night at our home group we did a study on waiting. We looked at quite a few verses in the book of Psalms that encourage us to wait on the Lord. Then we looked at more verses from the same book where the same author writes about how he is having trouble waiting any more and is wondering where God is.

I have to admit, I am not very good at this waiting thing. I found myself in the category of asking where God is in this and wondering why this happened to me.

However, as the day progressed, I actually found myself asking God what He was trying to teach me through this. Perhaps it was that I have too many plates spinning at one time and maybe I needed to be “disconnected” for a while to show me this really isn’t the end of the world. Anyway, about when I reached a point of not being too concerned about my lack of email, I finally found a tool that helped to fix the problem.

When I treat stuff like this as a bigger deal than it is, I realized I am really trying to gratify the desires of my sinful nature as shown in the verse below. One of these days I hope to stop sweating the truly small stuff! Thanks Lord for the valuable life lesson once again!

Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

(Romans 13:14)

Shout Praise, Whisper Criticism

On Sunday, I was asked to give a brief commercial to our congregation about the Willow Creek Leadership Summit at both of our church services. I was happy to do this because this is something I am pretty passionate about.

Everything seemed to go pretty well during our run through at 8 AM. Then at 9, during first service, it again seemed to go well. In between services, Emily (our worship arts leader) came to me and said, "Jim, you did awesome. However, can you go up there a little earlier during next service?" "Of course," I said.

Then I was approached by Denise, who runs the production team. She said, "Jim, you did great! However, can you put the microphone right up next to your mouth during 2nd service? People will be able to hear you better if you do that." I said, "Sure."

As I reflected on these exchanges, I was struck with how Emily and Denise both practiced something that a mentor of mine, the late John Savage, used to say. He would constantly remind me that in order to be an effective leader you must "shout praise and whisper criticism."

Thanks Emily and Denise for practicing this and reminding me of its importance!

Eating Humble Pie

I was at a meeting about the Willow Creek Leadership Summit yesterday afternoon. In addition to talking about the conference, the subject of some changes at Willow Creek Church came up.

They did something last year which surprised a lot of people. They did a survey of their congregation as well as the congregations of six other churches to find out what was working and what was not working. What they found surprised them.

They found that people were not growing in Christ the way they thought. As a result they are making some changes to the way they "do church." This is impressive to me. Not only are they willing to set their pride aside and say, "We were wrong about a few things" but they are willing to admit it to the world. (To read more about this go here.)

Bill Hybels, the senior pastor at Willow, has taken an incredible amount of heat over this. There are many who are laughing at him for being wrong. Many are inferring that because he was wrong in a couple of areas that he is wrong about everything.

That could not be further from the truth. What Bill Hybels and the leadership of Willow have shown is strong leadership - admitting when an error has been made, making corrections and moving on. We can all learn from this!

Gas Prices

On Tuesday of this week, my daughter Kristin called me to tell me that gas was going up by about $.30 a gallon. Her call was very timely as my car was running on fumes. I left my office and found a gas station that had not changed their prices yet. I then waited in line...for gas priced at $3.67 per gallon. I never thought that would ever happen!

As I was pumping gas, several others around me were talking with each other and complaining about the price of gas. Everyone seemed in agreement that this was absolutely terrible. Most seemed to be in a really bad mood as a result.

In my post yesterday I talked about someone I know who always seems to be in a good mood. The reason for this is she chooses to be this way in spite of her circumstances.

A way to do this is to realize that our situation (no matter how bad it is) is not as bad as it could be. I think there are millions of other people around the world who would like to be where we are, even with our negative circumstances. Do you think there are people in Myanmar and China who have lost everything in their recent disasters who wouldn't trade their situation for our "terrible" high gas prices?

Thankfulness

Last night Robbie, my son, and I got our hair cut. Mary (who has been cutting my hair for years) and I used to work together at a local software company in the late ‘80s. Another coworker of ours at the time just got married this past weekend and Mary was telling me all about it.

Mary said that Mary Anne, the bride, was walking around telling everyone how thankful she was for them being there, for this day, for her new husband, and basically for just being alive. This didn’t surprise me one bit as Mary Anne may be the most optimistic, upbeat person I know. I don’t know anyone happier than Mary Anne – and not just because she is a newlywed – she has always been this way.

Most people who come into contact with her probably think that Mary Anne has led a charmed life and that things go her way all the time and therefore she is happy. However, I guarantee you that Mary Anne doesn’t always have “good” days. I can also promise you that she has had problems. But she chooses everyday to be thankful which helps her to be joyful, optimistic and upbeat. What great characteristics! And you know what…we can choose to be that way too…regardless of our circumstances!

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Blind Date

When introducing this video, I thought about quoting the Bible about having the faith of a child. I also thought about talking about the enemy roaming around like a lion. I could have also talked about standing up for your convictions...but when it gets right down to it, as a Buckeye fan I just think this video is hilarious and I thought you'd like to see it.

Staying on Top

On Friday I discussed the fact that it is hard to stay on top and some of the reasons for that according to John Maxwell.

Today, to conclude, here are some things John says we need to do to stay on top:

HOW TO STAY IN FIRST PLACE

To preserve their first place status, leaders should give extra attention to their passion, practices and people.

Passion
When passion fades, so does a leader's trustworthiness. Gallup conducted a poll in which passion ranked as the leading indicator of credibility within an organization. The results of the survey are hardly surprising. After all, if the leader isn't excited about the purpose of the organization, then why should he or she be trusted? On the flip side, when leaders passionately sacrifice, commit, and invest in their business, they earn the respect of followers and the good faith of constituents.

Passion creates energy. When a leader exudes joy and excitement, he or she magnetically pulls co-workers and customers into a shared vision. Passion is exceptionally strong when linked with a leader's values. When leaders demonstrate principled passion, they are able to appeal to the moral and emotional instincts of those around them.

Practices
Leaders don't rise to the pinnacle of success without developing the right set of attitudes and habits. Healthy habits, practiced consistently over time, will always reap dividends. On the contrary, occasional compromises of values eventually snowball into poor decisions with negative consequences. To keep hold on number one, a leader has to make every day a masterpiece.

People
The best leaders are humble enough to realize their victories depend upon their people. When finding themselves in first place, leaders recognize they are indebted to the ingenuity and talent of those they lead. To stay in first place, leaders have to hand out credit and shine the spotlight on the contributors all around them.

King of the Mountain

Did you every play "king of the mountain" when you were younger? If you have, you know how difficult it is to be "king," to be on top of the mountain while everyone is trying to knock you off.

I have heard it said that the Christian life is much the same way. One of the most difficult challenges a Christ follower can experience is success.

John Maxwell weighs in below with the biggest reasons that most people don't stay on top for very long. In my next post, I will share his suggestions for staying on top.

FIRST PLACE ERASERS

The biggest detriment to tomorrow's success is today's success. Winning carries with it a slate of temptations dangerous enough to topple the grandest of corporate CEO's. I call these temptations the first place erasers. Falling prey to them is a surefire ticket to the second tier.

The Momentum Myth - Leaders presiding over good times and high profits begins to relax. Comfort sets in, and the leaders lose their edge. Hard work and a sense of urgency are replaced by naive optimism and idleness. Falsely believing they can coast, leaders fall asleep at the wheel. The end of their vigilance coincides with the end of their time at the top.

The Reputation Factor - Leaders begin to place their position above their production. They live off of yesterday and their best moments. Having already notched big victories, they quit fighting to reach their potential. Consequently, they drive the organization downhill toward mediocrity.

The Entitlement Mindset - Leaders believe they have a right to be number one. Oftentimes these leaders have been given their position rather than having earned it. Expecting preferential treatment, they have an underdeveloped work ethic. As a result, they are unable or unwilling to make the sacrifices required to stay in first place.

The Revolving Door - Leaders quit attributing their success to talented performers at all levels of the organization. People tire of laboring in obscurity, and they move on to new opportunities. Leaders fail to patch the slow leak of talent leaving their teams, and they eventually sink from first place to the middle of the pack.

The Ego Issue - The ego issue trips up leaders who cannot face or admit failure. Since their identity is wrapped in their accomplishments, they do not take ownership of mistakes. To avoid taking responsibility for poor decisions, they may have remarkably high degrees of denial or self-deception. Out of touch, they cannot steer the ship to a first place finish.

Playing Not to Lose - Leaders become cautious and defensive of their perch at the top. They begin to be motivated by fear rather than purpose. Instead of playing to win, they play not to lose. Risk averse and small-minded, they are deficient of the boldness and courage necessary to command a first place team.

How To Handle A Bad Boss

I am a big believer that everything rises and falls on leadership. I am also a believer that we are all leaders because we are all influencing someone. We are either influencing them positively or negatively.

Most people think about leadership in a work context. While leadership is important in all areas of our lives, I want to talk about it at work for a moment.

Hopefully, you have a heart that wants to lead from a Biblical standpoint--the way Jesus, Moses, Joseph, Paul and other great leaders led (To learn more about this, go here). I understand we all fall down and that is to be expected. However, if your heart is in the right place, that is what matters.

However, how do you handle someone who is not this way? What if they are your boss, and they're a really bad boss? I came across an article by Dimitri Ly that I think you'll find interesting. It contains some good advice on how to handle a difficult boss. I hope you enjoy!

Quotes

I am a fan of quotes. Have been for a long time. In fact, I actually have a file folder full of them. Whenever I see one I like, I cut it out and put it there.

I received these in an email recently that I thought were very good. I hope you enjoy!

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.-Paul Boese

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.-Pericles

When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present…we experience heaven on earth.-Sarah Breathnach

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day, saying…“I will try again tomorrow.”-Unknown

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.-Chinese Proverb

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.-Henry Ford

Burn brightly without burning out.-Richard Biggs

Laughter is an instant vacation.-Milton Berle

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.-Benjamin Franklin

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.-Mother Teresa

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.-Albert Schweitzer

Wrong turns are as important as right turns. More important sometimes.-Richard Bach

Change always comes bearing gifts.-Price Pritchett

Priorities

I am a former athlete. As a result, I like to win and in fact I might be a little too competitive at times. Most athletes I know are this way.

However, last night I heard something that was pretty cool from a premier athlete in his prime. Jon Kitna, the quarterback for the Detroit Lions was the speaker at the Fellowship of Christian Athletes dinner last night in Toledo.

I learned that he is only one of 10 quarterbacks in the history of the NFL to have thrown for over 4,000 yards two seasons in a row - pretty elite company. Yet, he was very humble and he delivered a great message.

Before his talk, the MC for the evening asked him some questions. One question had to do with his most memorable season. He said that was easy, it was during his time with the Cincinnati Bengals when they went 3-13. He said that even though it was a very frustrating year on the field, he saw lives changed. 18 people from that team along with family members dedicated their lives to Christ that season and he watched as all 18 were baptized. He said that was the most fulfilling season for that reason.

Wow! Here is a guy who has life in perspective. I needed to hear that last night.

Encouragement

Last night in our home group through our church we discussed encouragement. We are instructed to encourage others frequently in the Bible.

During our study last night, I learned that we can encourage others in a lot of ways including:

- Listening to them
- Just being there for them
- Saying nice things to them
- Smiling at them
- Laughing with them
- A hug

We even discovered that the way we handle our struggles can be an encouragement to others.

All of these things have one thing in common, they all show love for others. And isn’t that what Jesus commands us to do?

So who are you going to encourage today and how will you do it?

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

God Was In The House!

Wow! Yesterday's prayer breakfast went great thanks to the incredible team who helped to put the event together. We had a packed house - the event was sold out and God was definitely present!

The team put together an amazing 3 minute video about God and the fact that His work in the Toledo area is not done - the best is yet to come. You can view that here.

Al Caperna and Jody Alexander shared some inspiring scripture verses and prayer about the 7 mountains of influence in our society that was very powerful.

Ray Hilbert (pictured above) from Truth At Work tied it all together with some words of wisdom that all of us needed to hear about how our work, no matter what it is we do, has significant purpose. He shared that our feelings about work comes from our attitude. He said that if we had an attitude of gratitude, that could change our entire outlook.

So do you feel you HAVE to go to work or that you GET to go to work?

God also met and blessed me yesterday in some amazing ways. One way was through my part in the program. For the last 20 minutes or so, I had the opportunity to share my testimony and then the Gospel message. When talking about John the Baptist, I accidentally referred to him as Moses. When told of this after the event, I didn't believe that I had actually said that. But after confirming it with others, I was immediately humbled. It just proves once again that God can use us no matter how much we mess up!

Another way God met me was in a meeting I had with Ray Hilbert after the event where we just shared our lives with each other for a couple of hours. Every now and then I will meet someone who it seems like I have known forever - we really make a connection. This was one of those times. God really spoke to me through Ray and I am extremely grateful for that!