R & R

I wanted to let you know that I will not be posting anything next week as I am taking a week off for R&R...not even checking emails...totally unplugged (which is a big stretch for me!). So, please check back the week of April 6th!

Take care!

Leaving A Legacy

I attended the funeral yesterday of the brother of a dear friend of mine. My friend's brother, Garold, was 70 years old. It was an incredible service and testimony to his life and the impact he had on others.

During the service, Garold's 17 grand kids got up and sang together as a tribute to their grampa. I am guessing that they ranged in age from 6 to 18 years of age. As soon as I looked at them, I could tell there was something different about this group. They appeared to be very well-mannered, very loving and very pleased to be serving in this capacity during the funeral. Their song was oneof the most beautiful things I had ever heard. It was if they had been practicing their whole lives for this moment.

I thought of how this differs from how I would have treated this situation when I was that age--that is the last thing I would have wanted to do. I also was struck by how different this was when contrasted to our society as a whole (I envisioned kids giggling and acting like this is "dumb").

That's when it hit me. What I was witnessing was what it means to leave a legacy. Garold had truly left a legacy in his family...and beyond. Had he chosen a different path other than following God with all his heart, I wondered how different the lives of these children who were singing would be. But because he chose to follow God and intentionally pass it on, he multiplied himself...he left an incredible legacy.

Garold's brother emailed me before the funeral and talked about what a blessing it was to grow up in such a Christ-centered family. He said there was an awesome inter-generational interaction in which values were passed down to those younger. Then he said this:

Now I find myself in the position of having only 2 living older males in my family...and that just doesn't seem possible. What that seems to mean for me is that more and more "the baton is being handed off to me" to have a greater responsibility for positively affecting the future generations of our family.

Very well said. That sums up the overwhelming feeling I had yesterday (and still today) as well. The responsibility we have to our families and beyond is great!

Carpe Diem!

Feeding Your Enemies

Proverbs 25:21 tells us, "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink."

If you're like me, you've heard this before but thought, "Sounds good, but I really don't have enemies so this doesn't apply to me," or "So what does this mean in our world?"

Check out the above video to see this verse acted out in real life in a football game. Christ's love shown loud and clear! Very cool!

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk...or Cereal

God has a great sense of humor, so great it makes me cringe sometimes. This morning was one of those times.

I had just spent some nice time with God and part of that time was contemplating a particular verse in James. James 1:19b had this to say to me this morning:

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

I read that and thought that God was trying to tell me that I needed to not speak so much...that it was OK if I didn't get my point across all the time.

Then I came upstairs to find my son eating breakfast before leaving for school. He said, "Dad, I spilled the cereal." He had literally poured more Cheerios outside of his bowl than what had ended up in the bowl and it was not only on the counter but all over the floor.

And because mercy is not one of my spiritual gifts, I responded with, "So what are you going to do about it?"

Robbie said, "But dad, if I clean this up I'll miss the bus!"

Having an early morning meeting today, I didn't feel I had much time, but I said, "OK, I'll help you. You keep eating and between bites and I want you to pick up the Cheerios on the floor while I clean the counter."

So he began doing this. When he had a handful he started to put it back in the bag. I said, "No Robbie, throw those in the sink." So he did, or at least attempted to. He tried to throw them in the sink from where he was standing which was about 10 feet away. Needless to say, the Cheerios he had just picked up went everywhere but in the sink. Ughhh!

I guess God was trying to tell me He wanted to work on something else in me, my anger. I believe I did a decent, but not great, job of masking my anger. I didn't scream or yell, but I'm sure if you asked Robbie, he would tell you that he knew I was angered.

Sure, this disappoints me. But thankfully, I'm growing in this area and I'm not who I used to be.

True Humility

Sir Edmund Hillary in 2006

I just learned something today. I was reading about the death of Sir Edmund Hillary in January of this year and the account of his reaching the summit of Mount Everest. I was very impressed with the humility of this man.

Many see his greatest accomplishment as reaching the peak of the tallest mountain in the world, but I disagree. I believe his greatest accomplishment was the way he handled the adulation.

He gave equal credit to his guide, Tenzing Norgay, knowing what it would mean to the Nepalese to have one of their own make that claim. Just before Norgay's death, he admitted that Hillary was the first to reach the top and that he was so thankful for Hillary's "PR" sacrifice he made for him.

Once at the summit of the great mountain, Hillary shot this picture of Norgay, his traveling partner and guide. He did not have Norgay take his picture.

In Sports Illustrated last year, Hillary was quoted as saying, “Why did I need a photograph?” he said. “I knew I’d been there, and that was good enough for me”

Now that is true humility!

It's All A Matter Of Perspective

A couple of days ago in a post titled Rejoice When?, I shared about a cat of ours who seems to have a good time regardless of his circumstances. I related this to the apostle Paul who instructed us to rejoice always, even if things aren't going our way.

As I was working out in our basement this morning I was thinking about this same cat of ours. He had gotten locked in the basement on Sunday for at least a few hours. When we found him, he was lying on our ping pong table as content as could be...not worried, not stressing but simply relaxing. It was as if he was saying, "Hi guys. Hey, could you keep it down? I'm trying to take a nap."

This got me thinking about my post from last week. I was taken to a comment that was left by Michelle Corbett who said this:

I wonder if I could write a blog post about what I learn from my cat breaking absolutely everything valuable in my house (from spilling water on my laptop to busting the table and making a special lamp fall to the ground). Yesterday I came home to her standing in a pile of curtains she had pulled to the ground. Hmmmm. I'll have to think about this. ( :

I responded with a comment saying that I would find it hard to rejoice if that happened to me also. But this morning something was not sitting right with me about my response.

Paul wrote his words about "rejoicing always" while he was locked in a cold, grimy prison cell. I know he would have found a way to rejoice had his cat done this to his house, but how?

I came to the conclusion that Paul probably would have responded in this way:

"Oh, you darn cat! Oh well, I am so thankful I have a laptop that could have water spilled on it. I am so thankful to have curtains my cat can tear down. Thank you Lord for the house I have that I get to clean up!"

As tough as we might think this is to respond like this, when you really think about it, it's really only a matter of perspective.

Change of Perspective

I have a busy day planned today. Just a couple of hours this morning in the office then I have 4 back-to-back appointments which will keep me out all day. As a result, I planned to get up early, work out, spend some time with God and get an early start to my work day.

My plans were interrupted during my prayer time when my son told me that he had gone back to sleep after he had turned off his alarm and he had missed the bus. I needed to take him to school. This only took 20 minutes but it seemed like it was an hour.

I fought off every temptation to tell him how disappointed I was and that this was really "messing up" my plans for the day. God reminded me that not many days go by in which I don't "mess up" His plans. Yet, He still loves me just the same.

After hearing that, I became very thankful that I have such an awesome son that I "get" to take to school. Thank you Lord!

Rejoice When?

The other morning as I was eating breakfast, one of our two cats (the one on the left in picture above) was happily playing in our kitchen. I thought he was playing with one of his toy mice that is filled with catnip. However, upon further review, I noticed he was actually playing with a crumpled up piece of notebook paper. His mice must have been under our refrigerator...again! (This reminded me of when my kids were younger. They actually seemed to have more fun with the boxes at Christmas time than they did with the actual gifts!)

Believe it or not, I immediately thought of the apostle Paul. While in prison he wrote an amazing letter to the Philippians in which he said:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (Philippians 4:4)

My cat could have pouted when he couldn't find a mouse to play with. However, he made the best of the situation and, from where I was sitting, he was having a blast.

How often do we, when faced with the same circumstances as my cat (our paycheck isn't what we would like, we are looking for work, our spouse isn't treating us as well, etc...), pout and complain and make ourselves miserable? How often do we miss golden opportunities because of our bad attitude?

In the above verse, Paul says to rejoice always, not just when things are going great. Hard to do, but very freeing when we can get our arms around this! At least it has been for me the few times I have gotten this.

Lessons in Humility

I mentioned that I was traveling last week. The reason for my trip was that I was asked to be part of a Commission on Leadership Development for my church's denomination. In our meeting were the three North American bishops, one pastor and five "lay" people.

Matt, one of our bishops who was leading the meeting, taught me something about servant-hood and humility. During discussions, he would periodically get up and rub someone's neck and shoulders. He did this to me at least twice during the day and a half we were together. At first, it felt a little funny. But then I began to enjoy it and see it for what it was--Matt serving each of us.

I imagine it would be easy for Matt to feel he was above each of us, especially those not employed by the denomination. But that is not how he is. These acts of service left an impression on me...it truly meant a lot to me and it left me to wonder how I can better serve those around me.

The other impression I had from these meetings was that I felt inadequate. This room was filled with some incredibly talented people who had some amazing gifts. I was wondering why I was there. I felt as if I was not bringing much to the table.

I have a tendency to want to do things on my own. This is more than likely a pride issue. I feel that God was showing me that if I am going to be successful at anything, I will need Him and others round me...I cannot do it on my own. I know this in my head, however, I must need to get this in my heart, because this message came through loud and clear last week.

I truly was humbled...hopefully I can stay there.

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

James 4:6b

The Power Of The Little Thing

I returned early this morning for a trip to California which went well.

Yesterday, Yvonne, the wife of one of them men who was in meetings with me was at a coffee shop. She had ordered something to eat and was leaving the counter when a small portion of her food dropped on the floor. Rather than leave it there, she came back to pick it up.

A Spanish speaking woman asked her why she did that. Yvonne, who happens to speak fluent Spanish, responded that she didn't want anyone to slip on it. This led to further conversation which then led to a discussion about faith.

It turns out this woman had just lost her mother 11 days ago and was looking for answers. Yvonne ended up praying with this woman and she prayed to receive Christ! How cool is that?!

Yesterday evening I got on the airplane and was seated in a middle seat in the exit row. I had two men on either side of me. Neither seemed like the talkative type--in fact they both seemed rather unfriendly. Not a word was spoken for the first four fours of the four hour 20 minute flight. This was fine with me because I had work that I could do and some things to read.

As we were making the approach to the airport, I reached in my briefcase and got a piece of gum. I offered a piece to both of my non-communicative seat mates. They both accepted and were extremely grateful. It was as if they were saying, "Why did you offer me something when I haven't given you the time of day?" They truly seemed shocked. We actually talked a little bit for the remainder of the flight.

I would love to tell you that I prayed with both of them as Yvonne did, but that did not happen. However, I hope and pray that a seed was planted with them. Next time, I will try to do something nice for someone earlier in the flight.

On my drive home, I was struck by the power of a simple gesture and how someone's life literally can be changed forever by that.

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.

1 Peter 3:15b

Pride

Have you ever been so sure you were right that you weren't open to hearing the other side? Pride...an ugly thing.

Have you ever been in that situation and then been proven wrong? Pretty humbling isn't it? I have been here more times than I care to admit. It takes true humility to listen, to really listen to someone when you believe your position is the right one.

Check out this video. Not only will you get a chuckle out of it, but hopefully it will shed some light on how you listen to others, even when you "know" you are right.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
James 1:19

Refreshing Integrity

My wife and I have had what seems like bad experience after bad experience when it comes to picking out a bed for us. When we were first married, we had a water bed. That was OK for a while then it just wasn't providing the support we wanted. We then switched to a well-known brand of mattress and had nothing but problems. Because of various issues, we replaced it a couple of times with much hassle from the manufacturer and cost to us.

Last year we decided to invest in a mattress from Tempur-Pedic because we had heard great things about the company and their mattress. Besides, it had what seemed like a great warranty.

Less than one year into the life of the mattress and we began to notice that it was "dipping" where we regularly slept. I filed a claim with their warranty department online and within 1 day had a response back that my claim had been approved and they would replace our mattress.

Wow--I was not expecting that. No hassle. No arguments. Just standing behind what they claimed. Integrity...how refreshing.

Influence

My son, Robbie, and I watched the movie Rudy last night. I have seen it a couple of times while it was his first. As I have each time I've watched it, I got extremely choked up near the end of the film as this over-performing, marginal athlete finally achieves his goal. I'm not even close to being a Notre Dame fan but this is a great movie.

The obvious theme to the movie is about perseverance, grit, determination, attitude and overcoming incredible odds. This is all very inspiring stuff, yet during the show, I was saddened by two scenes.

In the first, Rudy is at the bus stop, ready to leave for South Bend to chase his dream after his best friend's funeral. His father stops by to tell him about his grandfather who had a dream to be a dairy farmer during the Great Depression. He explained all of the heartache his grandfather and others suffered. He then said something like, "Chasing your dream does nothing but cause problems for you and everyone around you."

The other scene occurs when Rudy is talking with one of his teammates, also a walk-on player. This player states that he hates playing football here and that the only reason he does is because his dad played here. He, in fact, had scholarship offers from two Big Ten schools but came here because of dad's pressure.

How sad. Both of these fathers missed opportunities to speak love and encouragement into their son's lives, yet they chose to squelch their dreams. The unfortunate thing about this is it goes on every day all around us. Not only in families but everywhere.

We all have tremendous influence over others, whether it be in our office, in the community or at home with our families. We have a choice to make, will that influence be positive or negative? Let's do our best to make sure that we are influencing others in a positive and uplifting way.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

T.O. Is Told To GO

Have you ever been a part of an organization that had a "star" in the group who was very disruptive to the rest of the team? Have you ever led an organization with one these people on your team?

I have been in both situations and both are very difficult.

When you find yourself in a group and one of these prima-donas takes over, it can be very disheartening. It is as if everything is about that person and the rest of the team don't matter. You can begin to feel that management really doesn't care about you and your teammates who are working hard and keeping their mouth shut. Resentment then has a good chance of setting in.

When you are leading an organization, you are oftentimes under tremendous pressure to produce. Having a star performer on your team helps to take much of that stress from your shoulders because you know you can count on that individual. Even if that performer is a problem to the organization it can be very easy to overlook their behavior because of their stellar production.

However, if that performer is causing other problems in the organization, your stress will come from a different place. You will find yourself trying to hold the ship together. You might even consider yourself a glorified baby sitter. No fun whatsoever.

Many of you have heard the news that the Dallas Cowboys have released their star receiver, Terrell Owens. "T.O." as he is called, is a tremendous talent. He is truly a game-changer. However, it seems that problems and team dis-harmony follow him wherever he goes.

I am not a Dallas Cowboy fan, nor am I a Terrell Owens fan. However, I acknowledge the Cowboys management for making a tough decision, to get rid of a player with true "star power"--one who is a true draw for fans. As difficult as this is, I believe it is a choice that can do nothing but help to bring their team together as one...which in the long run will help them tremendously.

"Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name--the name you gave me--so that they may be one as we are one."

John 17:11b

Community

Last night I went in my oldest daughter's (she's 20) room to say good night and to give her a kiss. She had a friend over and they were both sitting cross-legged on the bed just talking. They had been in there for a couple of hours and when I went in it looked like they were having a blast.

I thought that was very cool. As I am getting ready to leave for a breakfast appointment with a good friend and former co-worker, I am struck by how similar both of our encounters will be.

My daughter's took place sitting in her bedroom while mine will be in a restaurant. However, they both involve community and doing life together. I am looking forward to getting together with my friend because I haven't seen him in a while and I can't wait to catch up on what is going on in his life.

It didn't used to be this way for me. I used to do my best to not let anyone in. I especially didn't want anyone to know my secrets or my failures. Once I got over myself and began to share myself, the good, the bad and the ugly, I found freedom.

I encourage you to do the same!

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

TGIF, Take 2

A while back, in a post labeled TGIF, I discussed a friend of mine who owns a company and continually wore black each Friday until some of his employees noticed. When asked why he was doing this, he responded by saying that, “I’m sad that the weekend is coming and I will have to wait till Monday to see all of you again.”

I commented that that was a great attitude, an attitude we all should aspire to. We all have a purpose in our work that goes beyond our paycheck.

I received an interesting comment from Sam Van Eman who shared a similar post on his very well done Blog. It included the video clip of one of the better commercials from this year’s Super Bowl (shown above):

Click here to check out his excellent comments.

Failure

I had a strange weekend. I was in a bit of a funk and I can't really explain it. I guess I was feeling somewhat inadequate. Maybe I felt some fear. Whatever was going on, I was not feeling very successful. I don't really have a reason for this other than my income is not where I would like it to be.

You see, being a former athlete and sales person, I have this "outcome-based" definition of success...you know--measuring number of points or total sales dollars or whatever else can be measured. I know that God is trying to work on this in my life and get me to simply do my best and leave the outcome to Him. He wants me to consider that a success. I thought I was doing better at this, but yet, this feeling persisted.

I read something by John Maxwell this morning that I found interesting:

Prior to dazzling the world with his athletic skill, Michael Jordan was cut from his sophomore basketball team. Even though he captured six championships, during his professional career, Jordan missed over 12,000 shots, lost nearly 400 games, and failed to make more than 25 would-be game-winning baskets.

I imagine Jordan felt a bit discouraged when he missed a potential game-winning shot or lost a game. However, he continually came back from these disappointments to become arguably the greatest basketball player ever. John Wooden has said, "Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts."

I guess the good thing about being in a funk is that it is only temporary. Time to get some courage!