Let Your Yes Be Yes

Last Friday at the Point O' Woods Golf & Country Club during the Robert Trent Jones Senior Men's Invitational, something pretty incredible happened. A caddy won a car without even swinging a club. Here's how it was described in the local paper:

Club member Stan Andrei of Muskegon was on the last tee of the last day of the two-day tourney when he turned to his caddy, Dave Maxey, 23, of Dowagiac, to recommend a club for the ninth hole.

Maxey admitted that Andrei hadn't been hitting the ball well that day, and he recommended a five-iron for the 165-yard hole.Andrei didn't think it was enough club, but Maxey, who had been caddying at Point O' Woods since he was 14, stuck by his guns.

Sitting near the course was a brand-new black Jeep Wrangler 4X4, valued at $26,500, provided by Don Brookfield Jeep Chrysler of Watervliet as a prize for anyone who hit a hole-in-one.

"If I get a hole-in-one, do you want a big tip or the car?" Andrei asked his caddy.

"I need a car so bad," said Maxey, who has been driving the same vehicle since high school. He chose the vehicle.

The breeze let up as Andrei teed off, and the ball hit left of the pin at a spot where it will usually kick left. But this time it kicked right.

Because of the rolling contours of the course, Andrei and Maxey couldn't tell whether the ball had gone into the hole. Another caddy indicated to Andrei that it was in.

"Dave, you've got yourself a new car," Andrei announced.

And, true to his word, Stan Andrei did give the car to his caddy. I wonder how many people thought about themselves in this story. Would you have given up the car after winning it or would you have figured out a way to wiggle out of your commitment?

"Let your 'Yes' be yes, and your 'No,' no, or you will be condemned."

Matthew 5:37

Forgiveness For A Running Back

He went from being loved by the Buckeye Nation to being one of the most disliked players ever. In 2002, the Freshman phenom was one of the key cogs in Ohio State's national championship run. Shortly thereafter it all fell apart...all due to poor decisions on his part. It got so bad that he was released from his scholarship and tried to take his coach, Jim Tressel down with him. He accused Tressel of violating major NCAA rules causing Tressel to go through some uncomfortable media scrutiny before he was proclaimed "clean" by the NCAA.

I'm talking about Maurice Clarett who was just released from prison where he has spent the past three and a half years. He not only was released, but he has enrolled in classes at Ohio State. No, he is not going to play football, but the fact that he is in school is something incredible.

The really incredible part of this story is that Jim Tressel, the very guy Clarett tried to take down, has been helping to make this happen for Clarett. “We've been working for the last three months try to get the i's dotted and the t's crossed to get him back in and move him towards a degree,” Tressel told reporters Tuesday.

While Clarett was easily the most hated man in Columbus, this was obviously not the case in the Tressel household. In an article on one of my favorite web sites, The Ozone, Tressel had something to say that we all can learn from.

“Anytime someone is part of your life, even if it doesn't go well, you've got to continue to be there for him,” Tressel said.

“That's just the way we do things.”

Although Tressel continue to reach out to his embattled former player, Clarett’s life continued to spiral out of control, eventually landing him the slammer in 2006, three years after he was released from the Denver Broncos without playing a down in the NFL.

With his return to classes at Ohio State, Tressel is optimistic about Clarett’s chances of transforming his life story from tragic to inspirational.

“It's what you hope for,” he said.

“We all make mistakes...some are different mistakes than others and there are always consequences for whatever the mistake is and if you take care of that, usually the world is a forgiving world.”

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Matthew 6:14

Faithfulness

Faithfulness. Not a word we use very often today. Yes, we know what it means. But typically we know what it means because of things or people who are unfaithful. It could be our old car, a relationship or even the balance in our 401 (k)! But one thing is for sure...our God is faithful. In fact, He never changes and He is always in our corner.

Yesterday, our student ministries pastor, Keith Luke, delivered a well done message on this fruit of faithfulness. He said something that really caught my attention.

He described the path that he and his wife have been on the past couple of years and how they have ended up where they are. He said, "If I were to write my story, I certainly wouldn't have written it like God has written it. I would have made the path much straighter and smoother."

I could really relate to that statement. I look back over the past five years of my own life and I could say the same exact thing. The fact is that we all want comfort and ease. However, comfort and ease typically don't help us to grow the way adversity does. God knows this.

Jesus told us in John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” He promises us trouble...BUT, He also gives us great news that He has overcome the world!

So, yes, our lives will not be easy. Yes, we will go down paths that we would rather not go down. Yes, we may even be uncomfortable. But our God is faithful and He knows what is best for you and me.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

Integrity Of A Bean

I recently read a story about one of America's best known companies in the book, Faith Based Marketing, that I found very interesting. Here is the excerpt:

In our opinion, one of the best U.S. companies in terms of integrity is L.L. Bean. Founded in 1912 as a mail order retailer, it sold one product: a waterproof boot called the Main Hunting Shoe or "Bean Boot." But in its first year of business, it faced a huge crisis. Fully 90 percent of the boots it shipped were defective. To get his new company off the ground, founder Leon Bean had offered a full money-back guarantee on his boots. Returning the revenue on 90 percent of his first shipment threatened to sink his business, but he made good on it. The result? High-level consumer trust that continues to this day, establishing L.L. Bean not only as a financially successful company, but one known for its stellar customer service.

Integrity is crucial to the success of a business...and to the success of an individual. Integrity doesn't just happen. It's an ongoing, deliberate effort to be who you say you are and to do what you say you are going to do...in other words, to be trustworthy. This is a choice we all have. We can choose the easy road or we can choose the more difficult path, the path of integrity. So what will you choose?

"Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.'"

Matthew 5:37a

Two Are Better Than One

Connie and I just returned from a memorial service for the mother of one of our friends from college.

During the service, two grand-daughters got up to share a poem about their grandma. They alternated verses until about the third verse, when one of the girls broke down. After a little hesitation, grand-daughter #2 stepped in and read several verses in a row to relieve her grieving cousin. Then they were able to continue as planned.

To me it was a beautiful picture of teamwork in action and a great reminder that we need to do life in community.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Failure Is Never Fatal

For about the past year, each week I have been reading a chapter of a book that I choose with my 14 year-old son Robbie. Lately we have been reading Failing Forward by John Maxwell. This past weekend we read about the importance of taking a risk.

In the chapter, Maxwell had this to share:

The reality is that everything in life is risky. If you want to avoid all the risk, then don't do any of the following:

* Don't ride in an automobile--they cause 20 percent of all fatal accidents.
* Don't travel by air, rail, or water--16 percent of all accidents result from these activities
* Don't walk in the street--15 percent of all accidents occur there.
* Don't stay at home--17 percent of all accidents happen there.

In life there are no safe places or risk-free activities.

This reminded me of something I heard about Michael Jordan and Babe Ruth. Michael Jordan is said to have missed more game-winning shots than anyone in NBA history. However, he has also made more than anyone. The same is true of Babe Ruth, one of baseball's greatest home-run hitters. He also has struck out more than most players.

Look back over your life. Wouldn't you agree that some of your most valuable experiences have come through mistakes or failure? In order to succeed, you must also fail along the way. In fact, the more you risk failure and fail, the greater your chances for success. So don't let fear keep you from moving forward!

"Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts."

John Wooden

Your Days Are Numbered

My wife left this evening to serve on the team for the Women's Walk to Emmaus in our area. This is an incredible 72 hour experience based on the story told in Luke 24:13-35, which I highly recommend to everyone.

I wrote a letter to Connie that I will take over to the church sometime this weekend. I can't explain why, but I started the letter this way:

"6,868 & 10,368. Do you know what those two numbers represent? Believe it or not, the first number is the number of days I lived before we went on our first date. The second number is the number of days since then. Can you believe that almost 2/3 of my life has been spent with you? I am so thankful that God has placed you and me together!"

Putting my time on earth in terms of days really impacted me. I began to wonder how many days I have left. How much of my life have I lived? (Go here if you'd like to calculate the number of days between two dates).

As I was pondering this, I realized that my days are truly numbered. I then told myself that I don't want to waste one of the precious days I have left. How about you?

Carpe Diem!

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

James 4:14

LeBron Shames

I have been a LeBron James fan since he first entered the NBA immediately from high school. I have thought that he has done a wonderful job of handling himself, especially considering his young age and the incredible pressure and scrutiny that is placed upon him. I have especially been impressed with the humility that LeBron has shown. However, his image has been tarnished in my eyes.

As many of you have heard, LeBron made the decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers and join the Miami Heat in a much publicized hour long special broadcast on ESPN. A few days ago, the Miami Heat held a welcome party for James, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade which was, to me, way over the top.

When LeBron was asked about the number of NBA championships his new team would win, he answered (as seen in the above video) that they would win, "Not six. Not seven..." These comments in the video are very disappointing to me (as is the way this entire thing has been handled). The tag of "humble" does not seem to fit him anymore, at least not in the past week. It's a shame.

The book of James (interesting that this appears in this book, huh?) has this to say about predictions like the one LeBron made:

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-16)

Mixed Emotions

Yesterday was a sad day...and yet an exciting day.

We helped our oldest daughter Kristin to move out into her own apartment. She has been living at home since getting her first "real job" as a nurse last fall. So now she is off on her own.

This is very sad for us because we love to have her around. This also foreshadows what is soon to happen with Molly and Robbie in the months and years to come. Empty nest syndrome. I never thought I'd be saying that about our home, and yet, here it comes. Can you pass the tissues?

On the other hand, this really is exciting because we're watching Kristin spread her wings. She is going out into the world with all that she has learned from us and others and we get to see her become who God made her to be. We could not be more proud of her.

I keep trying to focus on all that really good stuff, but I still have an ache in my heart. I sure hope it goes away soon!

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Alone

This morning I had the privilege of facilitating the first roundtable meeting of our fourth Truth At Work group in the Toledo area. These groups of 10-15 business and ministry leaders gather together once each month to act as a board of advisors to one another in helping each another to grow their organizations in a God-honoring way while at the same time helping them to grow personally and spiritually.

Each time a new group forms, I am eager to see what will happen as each group develops a personality of its own. As I have been with each of our other three groups, I was amazed at how God just seemed to integrate everyone together in a short period of time this morning. It was incredible.

Being a business or ministry leader can be a lonely place. The leader really can't, or doesn't want to, share everything with their employees, their partners or even with their spouse. As I said, it can be very lonely. Today I sensed from each of the members that they were relieved...like they truly felt they were no longer "alone." What a great thing!

So who can you share everything with? If you don't have someone, I encourage you to make this a priority in your life!

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:25

No Success Without Sacrifice

I recently became aware of a great Blog in which Bruce Johnson shares letters containing life principles and lessons with his two daughters. I have been sending these to my two daughters each time he posts a new one.

Late last week, he had this to say about sacrifice and hard work:

As I’ve mentioned before, most people like the idea of being better or being more successful or being fit or being happy or being in a great relationship—but yet they don’t really want those things—despite what they might say. Why do I say that? Because they’re not willing to do what’s necessary to obtain the very thing they say they want.

I’m sure you’ve observed this phenomenon among your peers. You probably have friends who’ve told you that they’d like to get good grades, yet they’re not willing to do the hard work necessary to get good grades. Instead they continue to play and party all day and night with their friends. Or you probably have friends who say they’d like to get healthy and in shape, yet they aren’t willing to change their eating habits or get up early to go to the gym. So do they really want to be healthy and fit? I don’t think so.

If you really want something—and it’s more than just a “like to have” or “sounds like a good idea” kind of thing—then you’re going to have to avoid doing what most people choose to do—and instead make some sacrifices. Why? Because there is no success without sacrifice.

The American ideal of, “You can have it all!” is a flat out lie. No one can have it all. In order to obtain anything worthwhile in life, you have to make sacrifices. You have to give up something NOW in order to obtain something that you perceive to be better LATER. It’s always been that way and it always will be. Remember, first you make your choices, then your choices make you.

1. If you’d like to be healthy and fit, then you have to be willing to say, “No!” to most of the food choices put in front of you. And you’re going to have to give up some other activities (which could include some sleep) in order to get some exercise in. No one gets healthy and fit by eating whatever they want and not exercising. Sacrifices have to be made. Why? Because there is no success without sacrifice.

2. If you want to be a successful employee, then you have to be willing to do some of the things most employees won’t. You’ll have to sacrifice some of “your time” so you can do work before or after the hours you’re required to work. You’ll have to read more or take more courses. You’ll have to say, “No!” to getting together with friends from time to time in order to get a project done or to volunteer for an extra assignment or to make sure you get to bed on time so you can be fully engaged at work the next day. Why? Because there is no success without sacrifice.

3. If you’d like to be in a great relationship with a guy (yeah, I know, I can’t believe I just wrote that either :-), then you have to be willing to make some sacrifices. One of the things we clearly learn from Jesus’ example is that love is all about sacrifice. Love is not about convenience (a mistake too many people make). Love is about putting someone else’s needs above your own. Note: don’t read anything more into that statement than is intended. Your needs still matter and you shouldn’t be in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t get this principle. Love is a two-way street full of mutual love and sacrifice. And hopefully, your mother and I have modeled that well for the two of you.

4. Finally, if you’d like to change anything in your life that you don’t like, then just realize that you’re going to have to make some sacrifices. The bottom line is this—if you could be different just by wishing you were different, then you’d already be different. But you’re not, because you can’t just wish to be different. If you want to be different, you have to give up some of the things you’re currently doing, in order to get something better in the future. It’s always been that way, and always will be.

If you want to succeed at anything in life–and I don’t care if it’s playing the piano or starting a business or getting straight A’s or winning a tennis tournament or being a great parent someday–never forget the title of this post. Make it one of your mantras. Write it on a bunch of stickies and place them around your home and workplace. Why? Because there is no success without sacrifice! Period.

P.S. And as Zig Ziglar likes to say, “You don’t really pay the price, you get to enjoy the price.”

Dabble

Brian Keel, a friend of mine who serves in upper level management at our local YMCA, publishes a weekly devotional which is always inspirational and thought provoking (if you would like to sign up to receive these via email, please email him and request that here). The one I received last night was no exception. Here is what he had to say:

I sat on my patio on the evening of July 3rd and watched four different sets of fireworks play out in the night sky. Some were far away; some were obscured by the trees in the corn field beyond the fence. I could only hear two of them at all. The show was diverse…I didn’t have to fight crowds or traffic…and food and beverage were only a few steps away. But did I really get the best firework experience possible?

The answer must be “no”. I didn’t really experience the fireworks… I merely dabbled. Dabbling keeps us at the fringe of an issue...far from the joyful experience of diving in full force. Fireworks are best viewed up close where the colors are most vivid, the reverberations felt and not just heard. Up close where the exclamations of those around us increase our own appreciation for what is going on.

“Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the LORD your God.”

1 Chronicles 22:19

God is best experienced in the same way. We should not just dabble around the edges enjoying the show from the comfort of our easy chair. We should jump in with both feet. Embrace the saving grace of his son Jesus. Study his word on a regular basis. Participate in worship with others. Pray and listen for his answers. God meant for us to experience his full measure of greatness up close and personal. The reverberations in your life will be felt and not just heard!

Winning Over Our Enemies

Pictured above is our grand-puppy, Tysen. My oldest daughter Kristin got him last November much to my chagrin. You see, I didn't want a dog in our house. It's not that I'm against them, I grew up with one, but I just didn't want the extra hassle that comes with a puppy. As a result, I haven't always been the most loving "Grampa" to him, at least in the beginning.

However, Tysen has won me over. Every time I have come in the door, he comes running to me with his tail wagging to say "hello." He has done this whether I have recently ignored him or whether I've played with him. No matter my attitude, he is showing his love to me.

Abraham Lincoln once said, "I destroy my enemy by making him my friend." Well, that's exactly what Tysen has done to me in winning me over. He has made me his friend.

Now for the really ironic thing. My daughter is moving out to her own apartment in the next couple of weeks...with Tysen. I'm going to miss not having Kristin here every day and, I can't believe I'm going to say this, I'm going to miss Tysen.

Does this mean we're going to get another dog? Well, I wouldn't go that far...but hopefully we will see Tysen regularly!

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
Matthew 5:43-44

Finding Common Ground

In my last post I shared about some barriers to finding common ground with others according to John Maxwell in his book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. Today, I will share how Maxwell recommends that we cultivate a common ground mindset:

1. Availability - "I will choose to spend time with others" (Common ground must be discovered, and that takes time)

2. Listening - "I will listen my way to common ground" (Finding common ground requires us to pay attention to others.)

3. Questions - "I will be interested enough in others to ask questions" (Larry King says his favorite question is an easy one to remember, "Why?")

4. Thoughtfulness - "I will think of others and look for ways to thank them" (Thinking of others first is one of the best ways to connect)

5. Openness - "I will let people into my life" (Connection always requires both parties to engage and be open.)

6. Likability - "I will care about people" (If people like you, they will listen to you; if they don't, they won't.)

7. Humility - "I will think of myself less so I can think of others more" (If you want to impact people, don't talk about your successes; talk about your failures.)

8. Adaptability - "I will move from my world to theirs" (Don't tell people about you, begin by seeing things from their perspective.)

Do you see a pattern with each of these? Each of them is focused on the other person first. Each is suggesting we put aside our selfish desires to focus on the other. This is the way to connect.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3

Barriers to Common Ground

In John Maxwell's latest book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, he says that finding common ground is a critical component to connecting. In fact, he says the practice above all others that opens the door to connection with others is finding common ground.

In trying to coach us to be better connectors, Maxwell shares four barriers to finding common ground:

1. Assumption - "I already know what others know, feel, and want." Problem: Whenever you are quick to make assumptions, you stop paying attention to people and miss clues that would otherwise help you to reach common ground with them.

2. Arrogance - "I don't need to know what others know, feel, or want." Problem: You can't build a relationship with anyone when you don't care about them.

3. Indifference - "I don't care to know what others know, feel, or want." Problem: This is really selfishness.

4. Control - "I don't want others to know what I know, feel, or want." Problem: Secrecy spawns isolation not success.

As you can see, none of these four is a good place to be. I'll bet you can identify people in your life who are in each of these categories. The question is, can you identify if you are?

Doing Life Together

Tuesday morning as I was leaving a breakfast meeting, I ran into an extremely nice lady whom I grew up across the street from. Though her husband has passed away several years ago, she still lives in the same house.

I hadn't seen her in several years so it was great to catch up. She looked absolutely great and she seemed in very good spirits. She mentioned to me that she was there for a breakfast meeting of her own. She shared with me that she's been meeting with the same ladies every week for breakfast for close to 50 years. She mentioned that three of her group have passed away but the remaining four still visit.

That's right, once each week they converge on the same restaurant to be with one another. Even if they don't feel like it and even if they are busy. She said, "Through rain, sleet or snow, we are here at 9 AM every Tuesday." It is obviously that important to them. Perhaps this might explain why she looked so great and was (and always has been since I've known her) in such a positive mood.

A great lesson for each of us. We were meant to do life in community. So who are you doing life with?

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:25

A Wasted Day?

Yesterday I played hooky with my wife. Yes, on a “work” day, we drove about two hours north and hung out in Port Huron, Michigan; a place we had never been. No phone calls. No work at all. No agenda. For those of you who don’t know me, this sort of thing is very difficult for me to do.

A friend of mine just spent the day there with his wife and he recommended it to me, so I decided to kidnap Connie and do the same thing. And, it was truly an awesome day.

Not only was the weather perfect, but we were both amazed at the color of the water in the St. Clair River (shown in picture above) and in Lake Huron. It literally looked like we were staring at the crystal blue water of the Caribbean. But it was only two hours from our home. Incredible.

We spread out a blanket and ate a picnic lunch by the river. We took a leisurely walk. Then we drove to a beach on Lake Huron which reminded us of beaches in Cancun. Again, amazing.

Another great part of our day was the two hour car ride there and back. It gave Connie and me some great time to talk and to listen to some great teachings on CD by Joyce Meyer which really hit home with us.

Yes, you might say I wasted a work day and I might agree with you. However, I believe I invested a day…in my relationship with my wife. And you want to know something that I discovered? The world was still spinning on its axis when we got back. Imagine that.

Men Vs. Boys

On Sunday we arrived at church to find that our pastor had a terrible ear infection and would not be speaking to us. We were told that they had a backup plan and that was for us to watch a video of another pastor delivering a message about the differences between men and boys which was very appropriate for Father's Day. The message was a very good one so I thought I'd share the main points here.

He shared with us six characteristics of a man:
1. A man supports himself and likes to work. Boys doesn't want to work.
2. A man has a vision for his life and is willing to do the things necessary to get there. A boy whines and doesn't want to do hard things.
3. A man is a team player while a boy takes his ball and goes home when things don't go his way.
4. A man is a protector and is looking out for others while a boy only looks out for himself.
5. A man takes a minority position while a boy wants to be with the "in" crowd.
6. A man takes responsibility while a boy passes the buck.

I have been talking a lot lately with my 14 year-old son about what it means to be a man so I was very glad that he was with us and could hear this as well as it was great reinforcement. It was also good for me because I have been a boy in many areas of my life for a long time. How about you--does any of this resonate with you?

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
1 Corinthians 13:11

Turning Lemons into Lemonade

"Touchdown Jesus" is what it has been called. Well, the famous statue in Monroe, Ohio (pictured above - I thought all the Ohio State fans might like this picture) was struck by lightning and destroyed by fire earlier this week (story here).

My first reaction upon hearing this was how sad it was. The damage to the statue alone is $300,000. But then I heard what has happened as a result.

The story has been broadcast all over the world and the pastor of Solid Rock Church said that the destruction of the monument has brought as much attention as the building of it, if not more.

On the surface, this seems like a bad thing and some are agreeing by saying that this is God showing His displeasure at this statue. However, when you look at the incredible media attention around the world, all this is doing is making Jesus even more famous, and that is a good thing.

To me, this is a great picture of one of God's promises to us. He tells us in Romans 8:28, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. That is God's way, turning lemons into lemonade. The cool thing about it is that He promises to do this in our lives too if we love Him and are called according to His purpose!

Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.
Isaiah 26:8

Connecting

In John Maxwell's latest book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, he shares the importance of connecting with others, whether it be in a one on one setting, a group environment or as a speaker to an audience.

It doesn't take a degree in rocket science to know that connection skills are extremely important, whether you are a stay at home mom, a sales person or a public speaker.

Maxwell states that if you were to buy a car, when you walked into that showroom, whether you realized it or not, you internally asked yourself three key questions :

1. Do you care for me?
2. Can you help me?
3. Can I trust you?

If you don't answer yes to all three of these questions, this salesperson will not be able to connect with you. As a result, his or her chance for a sale is drastically reduced.

Those three questions can be extremely helpful for us, regardless of our occupation. If others can answer yes to these questions about you, you can be confident that you are connecting with them.

To simplify this, if you were to follow Jesus' instruction and love others as yourself, others certainly would be answering yes to these questions about you.

"Love your neighbor as yourself."
Matthew 22:39b