Fanning The Flames

This weekend was unusually cool so on Saturday evening, my son and I went out to our backyard firepit to get a fire started. We rolled up some paper and then stacked a few pieces of wood, lit the fire and watched as it burned for a little while, then went out.

It seems we didn't account for the fact that the wood was a little damp from the rain we had received over the previous several days. So we tried again several more times.

When we got a little fire going, we began to fan the flames using newspapers. This helped considerably and finally we had ourselves a full-fledged fire.

Fanning the flames like we were doing reminded me of something my wife and I learned about on Friday evening. We had hosted a marriage seminar for our Truth At Work members, their spouses and guests Friday. Dan Rogers (CEO of Cherry Street Mission) and his lovely wife, Crystal led our discussion which was great.

They said that all relationships, and especially marriage need a solid infrastructure. The only way to build it is to work on it regularly. In other words, you need to fan the flames.

Here are 10 ways they suggested you fan the flames in your marriage relationship:

1. Daily prayer for your spouse
2. Rest (one day per week – remember the Sabbath)
3. Quality time together every day – Determine love language for each other
4. Weekly dates with your spouse – What can we do that we shouldn’t or wouldn’t do with someone else? – Don’t need to spend money to have a great date
5. Get away with your spouse for a couple days once per quarter
6. Attend a seminar every 6 months for mental stimulation. Commit to learn something new every six months
7. Building lasting memories – don’t be event centered
8. Taking a family vacation at least once per year
9. Apologize to your spouse when you don’t understand (not just for major issues) – Think about how you would treat a friend…Am I as thoughtful with my spouse?
10. Forgive your spouse internally – Do you trust God with changing your spouse or do you try to change them?