Choices

In my men's group meeting Friday morning, a guy in our group told of a funeral he attended earlier in the week. It was for a friend of his who was in his mid 40s.

He said that as he looked into the casket at his friend's face, he reflected on the life his friend had led. It was a difficult life full of turmoil and pain. He said his friend had made some poor choices. It struck him that his friend could no longer make any changes in his life to get back on course.

Walking out of the funeral home, he said he realized that though his friend no longer had the chance, he had the opportunity to make course corrections in his life. He has been going through some very difficult times and he had been proceeding down this path of improving his situation prior to this, but this whole event helped to drive the point home. He said he knows that God has a plan in all his pain and he is going to lean into Him and get through this.

We all have that choice. We can choose to let life's circumstances control us, or we can choose to lean into God and know that He has our best interests at heart.

Friendly Advice

Yesterday, Derek, a friend of mine from Brighton who is a business owner and an Independent Business Advisor for Dan Kennedy came to my home for a couple hours to offer me some free coaching on my different business endeavors.

It was a wonderful time and Derek shared some great insights and ideas that should really help me. Some of his advice was not easy as he shared some things he believes I can drastically improve. I am not sure why he did this other than he is a good friend who believes in some of the stuff I am doing and he truly wants to help. He normally would charge around $500 for a session like this if it were held at his office.

He not only did this at no charge, but he offered to drive the 60+ miles to my place. He told me it was an excuse for him to enjoy a ride on his Harley but I know better. He was just doing it to serve me. He took over 4 hours including travel time out of his hectic schedule to help me. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for this.

I feel so blessed and so undeserving of this sort of help. It truly is humbling. Thank you Lord!

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 27:6

Quietly Fighting Through Adversity

I heard this morning that Tiger Woods is to have reconstructive surgery on his ACL in his left knee and will miss the remainder of the year from a golf standpoint. This is sad news for the golfing community.

I have always respected Tiger and his work ethic. However, this news makes me respect him even more. He played 91 holes of golf in the US Open this past weekend (4 18-hole rounds and 19 holes in a playoff) over the longest US Open course ever (just on the course he walked over 21 miles on a very painful knee). In addition, it was revealed that he has two stress fractures in the same leg.

Yet, I never once heard him complain about it. Yes, he answered questions about it but he did not make it a big deal. He did not use his injuries as an excuse of any kind. He just battled through them and did the best he could...which was good enough to win his 14th major championship.

I know some people who have exhibited this same character trait. A good friend of mine named Rick recently ran a full marathon with a stress fracture in his leg. Though it was extremely painful, no one has heard him complain.

Buck, another great friend, was diagnosed with Parkinson's. His prayer request is never for healing but he always asks God for the strength to respond appropriately so that Christ may be glorified.

Cool stuff!

This doesn't just apply to physical ailments but to all situations. So how do you respond when things are not going the way you would like at work? Do you act like I do many times and get stressed and treat people poorly or do you do like Tiger, Rick and Buck and rejoice and fight through the tough circumstance?

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Philippians 4:4 (emphasis mine)

We Are The Body

Yesterday I returned from Indianapolis where I spent Monday and Tuesday in meetings. I was invited to participate in a Commission On Leadership Development for The Free Methodist Church.

When one of our bishops contacted me to ask me to join this group I have to admit, I was very leery. You see, I am not much of a denominational type of guy. This is probably because I don't know enough about particular denominations. However, I have seen different denominations bicker over the littlest things and that irritates me. I think that hurts the Christian faith in many ways.

So, when I agreed to be a part of this group it was with great trepidation. Then on Sunday (Father's Day), as I was leaving my family on a beautiful day to make the four hour trek south, I was really second-guessing my decision.

However, on Monday morning, I was sitting at a table with the three bishops of the church and 5 other very bright and talented people. I was feeling like I would not be able to contribute much as everyone else seemed much more qualified than I. It was a neat group of people that I felt very blessed to be a part of.

I was pleasantly surprised at the overall tone of the conversations. They were primarily focused on how we can help the Church (not just the Free Methodist Church) which was very cool.

We had some tremendous discussions about leadership and how to develop leaders in the pastorate and in our congregations. Some great progress was made and over the next several years some tremendous things can come from this. I am very excited about the possibilities.

As I was driving home yesterday I was thinking about this group of people. We were an extremely diverse group. Not only did we live in different areas of the country, we all had different passions, interests, ideas and talents. Of the six lay people we had a Grandma who takes care of a couple of her grand kids and volunteers at her church and a college president and many walks of life in between. One of the guys is a specialist in data collection (surveys) and analysis which will come in very handy. Each has different gifts and abilities which will help us. God sure knows how to put a team together!

It occured to me that this is a microcosm of what the Apostle Paul talked about when he referred to us as the Body of Christ (Romans 12:4-8). We each have a part to play.

Words To Lead By (And To Live By)

Some of you have probably heard me say that we are all leaders because we influence others daily. I totally believe this.

At my church, we are on a campaign to encourage people to sign up for the Willow Creek Leadership Summit which is what I consider to be the best of the best when it comes to leadership development programs. We know that anyone who attends this will come away deeply impacted and it will help them in their daily lives, no matter what they do for a living. I like to tell others that it is really a summit on how to lead your life.

I recently received this 3 minute video in an email. I wanted to share it because it reveals some incredible leadership principles and, much like the Leadership Summit, it does it in such a way that anyone who views it could benefit. I hope you enjoy! Click here for the video.

Preparation

Did you see the end of the final round of the US Open Golf Tournament? It was incredible.

I was traveling so I didn't gt to watch any of it until the final group was on hole 17. When I tuned in, Tiger Woods and Lee Westwood were one shot behind the leader, Rocco Mediate. Both parred 17 and went to 18 needing a birdie four on the par five hole to tie and force an 18 hole playoff on Monday.

Both players hit their tee shots in a fairway bunker. Then they both advanced their 2nd shots toward the green with Westwood's lying in the fairway and Woods' in the deep rough. Tiger hit an amazing shot to within 20 feet or so and Westwood also was about that distance after his third. Westwood missed his putt and Tiger made his.

I, along with the rest of the golfing spectators, was not surprised. Tiger had battled his sore knee (he is recovering from recent knee surgery) all week, yet he was right there, in the hunt. On the final hole he faced all sorts of adversity (bunker, rough) yet, he managed to do what he needed to do.

During the round they showed a clip of Tiger with his dad. It showed his dad doing all sorts of things to try to get into Tiger's head...things like dropping his bag in the middle of Tiger's swing. His dad went on to say that there would not be another golfer who was more mentally ready to play than Tiger. Preparation.

On Sunday, Mark Cryderman delivered an incredible message at CrossRoads. He taught on the importance of character. He told us that tough times will come (Jesus promises that in John 16:33). So, like Tiger Woods, we must prepare and build our character so that we are ready to face these challenges when they come.

By the way, though I have a great deal of respect for Tiger and his work ethic, I'll be rooting for Rocco Mediate as I have a soft spot in my heart for underdogs.

Pruned

If you live in my area of the country, you are aware that we have been racked with some pretty good storms over the past week that have caused lots of damage and left many without power for extended stretches.

Two nights ago I went out to cut my grass. As I surveyed the scene, I was struck with how awful it looked. The grass was not only long, but was covered by sticks and limbs that had been dislodged from the trees in our yard. I realized that I had to clean that up before I could mow so I did what any father would do...I got my son to help me.

We picked what we thought were all of them up and I began cutting the lawn. I kid you not, over the next hour to hour and a half of mowing, I stopped at least 7 times to pick up more sticks along the way (usually handfuls of them). It seemed like it was never ending.

As I completed the lawn, I looked over our back yard and was amazed at the transformation. What once was ugly, now looked great.

Lately I have been reading John 15 and in that chapter, Jesus shares these words, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." (John 15:1-2)

So, in my yard the branches that were dead got removed and even some live branches were pruned away. Jesus is telling us that our lives are just like this. The interesting thing is that He says we are going to get cut either way...so we might as well bear fruit and be pruned!

No matter what, if the landscape of our life looks bleak or hopeless or less than beautiful, know that the Master Gardener can make it look great again!

Friendship

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

Tuesday evening I left for Indianapolis to check out a career option that God has been steering me toward. It is something that complements a lot of the other stuff I have been doing so I was excited about the trip.

I thought it would be helpful to have a friend with me who could offer me wise counsel and could serve as another set of eyes and ears. I asked Bob, who was a teammate of mine at UT. He and I have been friends for a while but our friendship has been rekindled over the past four years or so since he has moved back into town.

Bob is a business owner in Toledo and he is a tremendous leader - in his business, in the community and at home. He is also an incredible husband and father. Though he is shorter than me, I really look up to him.

I know that Bob is extremely busy, not only running a business but also trying to keep up with his four boys and their athletic events. Despite that, Bob said he would accompany me on the trip.

Our trip was very worthwhile and was very helpful to me as we had a great meeting on Wednesday. However, the best part of the trip may have been the three and a half hour drive each way with Bob.

Though he is a year younger than me, I am amazed at his wisdom. I learned much just in our conversation. I consider him a mentor of mine and I count him as a true friend. Thanks Bob, I am very grateful for your sacrificial love and going with me!

As I think about Bob and my other great friends I feel so incredibly blessed. I hope and pray I can be a friend like that to others.

Time

I am oftentimes busy, even when I'm at home. I need reminders to take time out for the most important people in my life, my wife and kids. I admit, I sometimes take them for granted.

That is why I am so grateful for reminders like this short video which hit me right where I live - click here to watch.

The Best Laid Plans...

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Proverbs 16:3

Saturday we celebrated Molly’s graduation from high school with friends and family at our house for an open house throughout the afternoon. We had been planning for this for about the past month.

The planning was ratcheted up a notch this past week as my wife, Connie and I frantically worked on getting things ready…food, decorations, tents, coolers, ice, desserts, yard work, etc…

Friday night before the event we felt we were in decent shape for the party. We knew that Saturday morning would be busy getting everything finalized but we were feeling pretty confident all would be fine.

Later that evening, around 9:40 a wicked storm came through which knocked out our power and that of all our neighbors (and later we would find out, thousands of others). Power was still out Saturday morning and did not resume until 7 PM Saturday (right after Molly’s party ended).

The very ironic thing about all this is that my men’s group on Friday just studied about planning and how to plan from a Biblical perspective. The study showed us that planning is crucial but that leaders need to be flexible and adapt to changes. These are a couple of the last lines in the lesson: “As you lead, be sure to plan. But in the process of your planning recognize that there will be changing circumstances beyond your control.”

Pretty appropriate for what was coming the next day for me, huh?

I have to give big-time props to my family. Everyone stepped up and helped to make it a fun day. In spite of the lack of power on a steamy afternoon, everything went great.

Looking back on it, the loss of power wasn’t really that big of a deal, it just added to the degree of difficulty in our preparations. Another thing it did is help us to more fully appreciate all of the friends who chipped in to help: Rick with much needed ice and coolers, Barb and the Bob and Beth with tents, Bob with a generator (which kept our fridge cold) and some great pasta salad, Keith and Julie with tables and chairs and many others who brought food and other helpful items.

At the end of the day, Connie and I looked at each other and both said we felt extremely blessed. We actually both agreed that we were thankful for the power outage as it added a degree of "fun" to the day and certainly made it memorable. Thanks to all of you who helped make this day a special one for Molly!

The Shack

I just finished a great book called The Shack.

It is a work of fiction that really got me. It not only was a very good read, but it showed me God in a new, refreshing light. Over the past 4-5 years I have come to know God as a very close friend. However, after reading this book, I now see God and the Trinity as being even more of a friend, more personal than I did before which is very cool.

I am off tomorrow morning on a spiritual retreat...to spend some time with Him, this great Friend of mine for 3-4 hours or so. I am looking forward to what He has in store for me!

Perseverance

Perseverance - per·se·ver·ance [pur-suh-veer-uhns] - noun

steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

On ESPN this morning they showed this picture of this amazing kid--the epitome of perseverance.

Catcher Adam Bender, 8, lost his left leg to cancer when he was a year old. He tried a prosthesis but didn't like it and refuses to use a wheelchair. If he reaches base, he uses crutches. He also played YMCA flag football this past fall.

Incredible!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

Optimism

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Philippians 4:4

Many of you who know me know that I am a "glass is half-full" kind of guy. That may be why I am sick and tired of all the reports of how bad things are from the media. Granted, there are some areas that are hurting. But I don't think we need to focus only on the bad news.

I recently received this email from a friend and I wanted to share it here. This is often credited to Jay Leno. But it wasn't said or written by Jay, it was written by Craig R. Smith. Only the closing paragraph is by Leno. Warning: this isn't very politically correct, but here it goes:

The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true, given the source, right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67% of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed, and 69% of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence, two-thirds of the citizenry just ain't happy and wants a change.

So being the knuckle dragger that I am, I started thinking, "What're we so unhappy about?"Is it that we have electricity and running water 24/7? Is our unhappiness the result of having A/C in the summer and heating in the winter?

Could it be that 95.4% of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it's the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time, and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?Maybe it's the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we'd find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough.Or could it be that when we wreck our cars, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all, and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.Perhaps you are one of the 70% of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.

Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.

This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?Maybe that's what has 67% of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we're the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the USA, yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are: the most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the President who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The President who has a measly 31% approval rating? Is this the same President who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The President who cut taxes to bring an economy out of a recession? Could this be the same guy who's been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks?

The Commander-in-Chief of an all-volunteer army that's out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or on a talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy, that you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it. Are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the media told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day?

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There's currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go.

They're able to refuse to go and end up with either a "general" discharge, an "other than honorable" discharge or, worst case scenario, a "dishonorable" discharge after a few days in the brig.So why then the flat-out discontent in the minds of 69% of Americans? Say what you want, but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds, it leads; and they specialize in bad news.

Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this, and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by justifying them in one way or another.

Stop buying the negativism you're fed every day by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your birdcage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad.

We're among the most blessed people on Earth, and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.

With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

~Craig R. Smith and Jay Leno~

Eat That Frog!

I am someone who loves to check things off his to-do list. I love this so much that I typically search for the easiest, fastest thing I can get done so I can eliminate it from the list. Sometimes this works well, but most of the time it encourages me to avoid doing the really tough thing, even if it is the most important thing I need to do.

I have heard it said, "If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is eat a live frog, then nothing worse can happen for the rest of the day!" This is probably true.

Brian Tracy, in his book Eat That Frog! says that your "frog" should be the most difficult item on your things to do list, the one where you're most likely to procrastinate; because, if you eat that first, it'll give you energy and momentum for the rest of the day. But, if you don't...and let him sit there on the plate and stare at you while you do a hundred unimportant things, it can drain your energy and you won't even know it.

So, here's your assignment (and especially mine!): for the next 30 days take a look at your list, circle the frog, and eat that first.

Carpe Diem - Part II

Last night my very talented daughter Molly graduated from high school. This not only makes me feel old...but extremely proud. She didn't just graduate. She graduated Magna Cum Laude! This is the highest any Lange that I know of has ever graduated. Mol, you are the best--I love you!

If that wasn't enough. My other daughter Kristin (pictured above with Molly) is celebrating her 20th birthday today. Happy birthday Kristin, I love you! You also are awesome!

Ughhhhh! I can't be that old am I? One more reminder that our lives are but a mist--here today and gone tomorrow.

Carpe Diem!

Dream On

My 12 year-old son Robbie has a tendency to shy away from trying new things. This includes food and activities.

I would venture a guess that 95% of the time (and I'm being conservative) when he tries something new to eat, he likes it...a lot. This after telling us over and over, "Yuck, I hate that."

Getting him to try something to eat is much easier than getting him to try some activity for the first time. For years, the first basketball practice was a real challenge. I would literally have to take him kicking and screaming to practice...and I have always been his coach! Then once he got there, he had a blast.

This past year I have been talking with him a lot about the discovering the gifts God has given him. I have noticed that he has this ability to entertain others. When I have eaten lunch with him at school, I have noticed all his classmates tend to ask him questions so they can hear what he has to say. Then they will laugh most of the time.

He had an opportunity to be a part of a lip synch performance at his school. My wife and I encouraged him to enter. At first he said he didn't want to. Then, finally he did. He decided to do "Dream On" by Aerosmith (he has gotten into classic rock lately--which I'm loving!).

The performance was today. As Connie and I watched the performances leading up to his, I have to admit, I was wishing I didn't encourage him to do this. I thought it was going to be embarrassing. I was praying that God would use this to encourage him in his gifts, but I still lacked some faith.

When his turn came, he took the stage in his wig and toting his Guitar Hero guitar. I admit, I am a little biased, but he brought the house down. It was hysterical and he obviously had a lot of fun.

The video is posted above. Unfortunately, I was unable to get as close as I would like so you can't really see his face too well, but you can get a feel for how he did.

Robbie has agreed that he wants to find his gifts and use them for God's purposes. Yet, this was hard. But he did it. He tried something new, he did his best and he did it for God. I am very proud of him!

We can all learn from my son. What has God gifted you at? Are you using that to glorify Him?

Carpe Diem!

Yesterday was my son, Robbie's 12th birthday and this Sunday, my 2nd oldest daughter Molly graduates from High School. Man do I feel old!

Last night, Mike, a good friend of mine stopped by and he was talking about how his 3 year-old son has been trying his patience. I told him, "this too shall pass. In fact, it will pass before you even know it." I then explained about my son's birthday and my daughter's imminent graduation and how it seemed like yesterday that they were both three.

This morning as I was showering, a song by Casting Crowns came on titled "Who Am I?" In the song are the following lyrics:

I am a flower quickly fading; here today and gone tomorrow; a wave tossed in the ocean; a vapor in the wind.

How appropriate!

Os Hillman has said that our lives when compared to eternity are like a cup of coffee poured into the ocean from an airplane--pretty inconsequential. I agree. Our lives (and the lives of our kids) are but a mere vapor. So we must make the most of them!

Carpe Diem!

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14

The Only Constant Is Change

Doesn't it seem like the only thing that is a constant is change? Everything changes it seems, especially the prices at the gas pump!

Leading a group to change can be very difficult but it doesn't need to be. This simple 3 minute video shares some great truths about leading through change. Check it out here.

A Little Dirt

When I was playing basketball at the University of Toledo, my coach, Bob Nichols would constantly talk to us about the importance of overcoming adversity. He would tell us that adversity will come, that is guaranteed; but the key was how we handled it.

Most of the time I wouldn't pay much attention to him. I was in college and I thought I had life all figured out. As I have grown older and hopefully a little wiser I now understand that what Coach Nichols was talking about was absolutely correct.

I was reminded of this when I received this in an email from David Jeremiah:

A little girl walking in a garden saw a particularly beautiful flower and promptly picked it because she felt it was too pretty to be in the dirt. She then took the flower home and rinsed the dirt off with water. Shortly thereafter, the flower wilted and died. When the owner of that garden saw what the little girl had done, he exclaimed, "You have destroyed my finest plant!" "I'm sorry, but I didn't like it in all that dirt," said the girl. The gardener responded by saying, "I chose that spot and mixed the soil because I knew that only there could it grow to be a beautiful flower."

Sometimes we become like that little girl, fixated on the dirt of our life instead of seeing the beauty and growth that will emerge in time. But once we have experienced seeing the hand of God in our life, we have assurance that we can trust Him in His sovereignty. So, if it feels like nothing good will ever come out of what you are going through, be patient and steadfast, knowing that God "plans to give you a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

Playin' Hooky- Part II

Yesterday was my dad's 70th birthday. He lives in Toledo, but he was traveling back from Tennessee where he was vacationing and he was planning to stop in Cincinnati to have dinner with my sister Julie who lives there. They were then going to spend the night there and return home today.

While I was at the Mud Hens game yesterday (see yesterday's post), my very spontaneous sister, Katy calls me at Noon to say, “How would you like to do something on a whim and go to Cincinnati today to have dinner with dad?”

Totally out of character (spontaneity is not my strong suit), I said, “I’ll think about it and call you back soon.”

Believe it or not, I was leaning toward going right away but I had to think about what I had on my schedule since I didn’t have it with me. A half hour later, I called Katy and said, “I’m in!”

She said, “That is so cool! Julie just told me that there was no way you would go so she will be so surprised.”

As a result, I found myself comfortably perched in the front seat of Katy’s car heading south at 3:30 yesterday afternoon along with my two sisters from Toledo and my wife Connie.

We did make it home around 2:15 AM this morning so I am not running on all cylinders this morning but it was well worth the trip! We had an awesome time and my dad was so surprised. The picture above shows my Dad with my three sisters and me.

As I get older, God has been working on me in helping me to be more spontaneous. He is helping me to realize that relationships and building memories matter a whole lot more than stuff on my "to do" list.

Note: for those of you who think I'm getting out of control, don't worry, I still have a long way to go! But at least this is a start.

Playin' Hooky

I love the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off (pictured above). This is probably because of the fact that I am not very good at relaxing and I admire people who have an attitude like Ferris. I'm not sure why I struggle to relax, but it's the truth.

I am getting better though. For the second time in a week I'm playing hooky.

Last Friday I took my son Robbie (turns 12 next week) out of school and we spent some time at Wildwood Metropark. He says we hiked. I think it was more like a walk, although I'm not sure I know the difference. In any case, we traversed the grounds for about an hour on a beautiful afternoon.

Then because we burned up so many calories and needed to put them back, we stopped at Handel’s for some incredible banana cream pie ice cream. It was a great afternoon.

This morning, Connie and I are going with Robbie and his classmates to watch the Toledo Mud Hens against the Louisville Bats. I can't wait!

Ben Franklin

I love good quotes. I think there is so much we can learn from them.

One of the most quotable of people in America's history is Ben Franklin. Here are just a few of his nuggets of wisdom (I challenge you to chew on these today):

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."

"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security, will deserve neither and lose both."

"Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late."

"All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immoveable, those that are moveable, and those that move."

"Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning."

"Take time for all things: great haste makes great waste."

"He does not possess wealth; it possesses him."

"Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today."

"Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing."

"Well done is better than well said."

If you are also a fan of good quotes, check out this movie.

Sweating The Small Stuff

On Sunday evening I was shutting down my laptop when I noticed that my Microsoft Outlook program was acting funny. I closed it and then re-opened it and I received an error message saying something was not right. As a result, I could not open up the program which contains all my emails and my calendar, etc…

Needless to say, this put a damper on my evening, then my day on Monday.

On Sunday night at our home group we did a study on waiting. We looked at quite a few verses in the book of Psalms that encourage us to wait on the Lord. Then we looked at more verses from the same book where the same author writes about how he is having trouble waiting any more and is wondering where God is.

I have to admit, I am not very good at this waiting thing. I found myself in the category of asking where God is in this and wondering why this happened to me.

However, as the day progressed, I actually found myself asking God what He was trying to teach me through this. Perhaps it was that I have too many plates spinning at one time and maybe I needed to be “disconnected” for a while to show me this really isn’t the end of the world. Anyway, about when I reached a point of not being too concerned about my lack of email, I finally found a tool that helped to fix the problem.

When I treat stuff like this as a bigger deal than it is, I realized I am really trying to gratify the desires of my sinful nature as shown in the verse below. One of these days I hope to stop sweating the truly small stuff! Thanks Lord for the valuable life lesson once again!

Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

(Romans 13:14)

Shout Praise, Whisper Criticism

On Sunday, I was asked to give a brief commercial to our congregation about the Willow Creek Leadership Summit at both of our church services. I was happy to do this because this is something I am pretty passionate about.

Everything seemed to go pretty well during our run through at 8 AM. Then at 9, during first service, it again seemed to go well. In between services, Emily (our worship arts leader) came to me and said, "Jim, you did awesome. However, can you go up there a little earlier during next service?" "Of course," I said.

Then I was approached by Denise, who runs the production team. She said, "Jim, you did great! However, can you put the microphone right up next to your mouth during 2nd service? People will be able to hear you better if you do that." I said, "Sure."

As I reflected on these exchanges, I was struck with how Emily and Denise both practiced something that a mentor of mine, the late John Savage, used to say. He would constantly remind me that in order to be an effective leader you must "shout praise and whisper criticism."

Thanks Emily and Denise for practicing this and reminding me of its importance!

Eating Humble Pie

I was at a meeting about the Willow Creek Leadership Summit yesterday afternoon. In addition to talking about the conference, the subject of some changes at Willow Creek Church came up.

They did something last year which surprised a lot of people. They did a survey of their congregation as well as the congregations of six other churches to find out what was working and what was not working. What they found surprised them.

They found that people were not growing in Christ the way they thought. As a result they are making some changes to the way they "do church." This is impressive to me. Not only are they willing to set their pride aside and say, "We were wrong about a few things" but they are willing to admit it to the world. (To read more about this go here.)

Bill Hybels, the senior pastor at Willow, has taken an incredible amount of heat over this. There are many who are laughing at him for being wrong. Many are inferring that because he was wrong in a couple of areas that he is wrong about everything.

That could not be further from the truth. What Bill Hybels and the leadership of Willow have shown is strong leadership - admitting when an error has been made, making corrections and moving on. We can all learn from this!

Gas Prices

On Tuesday of this week, my daughter Kristin called me to tell me that gas was going up by about $.30 a gallon. Her call was very timely as my car was running on fumes. I left my office and found a gas station that had not changed their prices yet. I then waited in line...for gas priced at $3.67 per gallon. I never thought that would ever happen!

As I was pumping gas, several others around me were talking with each other and complaining about the price of gas. Everyone seemed in agreement that this was absolutely terrible. Most seemed to be in a really bad mood as a result.

In my post yesterday I talked about someone I know who always seems to be in a good mood. The reason for this is she chooses to be this way in spite of her circumstances.

A way to do this is to realize that our situation (no matter how bad it is) is not as bad as it could be. I think there are millions of other people around the world who would like to be where we are, even with our negative circumstances. Do you think there are people in Myanmar and China who have lost everything in their recent disasters who wouldn't trade their situation for our "terrible" high gas prices?

Thankfulness

Last night Robbie, my son, and I got our hair cut. Mary (who has been cutting my hair for years) and I used to work together at a local software company in the late ‘80s. Another coworker of ours at the time just got married this past weekend and Mary was telling me all about it.

Mary said that Mary Anne, the bride, was walking around telling everyone how thankful she was for them being there, for this day, for her new husband, and basically for just being alive. This didn’t surprise me one bit as Mary Anne may be the most optimistic, upbeat person I know. I don’t know anyone happier than Mary Anne – and not just because she is a newlywed – she has always been this way.

Most people who come into contact with her probably think that Mary Anne has led a charmed life and that things go her way all the time and therefore she is happy. However, I guarantee you that Mary Anne doesn’t always have “good” days. I can also promise you that she has had problems. But she chooses everyday to be thankful which helps her to be joyful, optimistic and upbeat. What great characteristics! And you know what…we can choose to be that way too…regardless of our circumstances!

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Blind Date

When introducing this video, I thought about quoting the Bible about having the faith of a child. I also thought about talking about the enemy roaming around like a lion. I could have also talked about standing up for your convictions...but when it gets right down to it, as a Buckeye fan I just think this video is hilarious and I thought you'd like to see it.

Staying on Top

On Friday I discussed the fact that it is hard to stay on top and some of the reasons for that according to John Maxwell.

Today, to conclude, here are some things John says we need to do to stay on top:

HOW TO STAY IN FIRST PLACE

To preserve their first place status, leaders should give extra attention to their passion, practices and people.

Passion
When passion fades, so does a leader's trustworthiness. Gallup conducted a poll in which passion ranked as the leading indicator of credibility within an organization. The results of the survey are hardly surprising. After all, if the leader isn't excited about the purpose of the organization, then why should he or she be trusted? On the flip side, when leaders passionately sacrifice, commit, and invest in their business, they earn the respect of followers and the good faith of constituents.

Passion creates energy. When a leader exudes joy and excitement, he or she magnetically pulls co-workers and customers into a shared vision. Passion is exceptionally strong when linked with a leader's values. When leaders demonstrate principled passion, they are able to appeal to the moral and emotional instincts of those around them.

Practices
Leaders don't rise to the pinnacle of success without developing the right set of attitudes and habits. Healthy habits, practiced consistently over time, will always reap dividends. On the contrary, occasional compromises of values eventually snowball into poor decisions with negative consequences. To keep hold on number one, a leader has to make every day a masterpiece.

People
The best leaders are humble enough to realize their victories depend upon their people. When finding themselves in first place, leaders recognize they are indebted to the ingenuity and talent of those they lead. To stay in first place, leaders have to hand out credit and shine the spotlight on the contributors all around them.

King of the Mountain

Did you every play "king of the mountain" when you were younger? If you have, you know how difficult it is to be "king," to be on top of the mountain while everyone is trying to knock you off.

I have heard it said that the Christian life is much the same way. One of the most difficult challenges a Christ follower can experience is success.

John Maxwell weighs in below with the biggest reasons that most people don't stay on top for very long. In my next post, I will share his suggestions for staying on top.

FIRST PLACE ERASERS

The biggest detriment to tomorrow's success is today's success. Winning carries with it a slate of temptations dangerous enough to topple the grandest of corporate CEO's. I call these temptations the first place erasers. Falling prey to them is a surefire ticket to the second tier.

The Momentum Myth - Leaders presiding over good times and high profits begins to relax. Comfort sets in, and the leaders lose their edge. Hard work and a sense of urgency are replaced by naive optimism and idleness. Falsely believing they can coast, leaders fall asleep at the wheel. The end of their vigilance coincides with the end of their time at the top.

The Reputation Factor - Leaders begin to place their position above their production. They live off of yesterday and their best moments. Having already notched big victories, they quit fighting to reach their potential. Consequently, they drive the organization downhill toward mediocrity.

The Entitlement Mindset - Leaders believe they have a right to be number one. Oftentimes these leaders have been given their position rather than having earned it. Expecting preferential treatment, they have an underdeveloped work ethic. As a result, they are unable or unwilling to make the sacrifices required to stay in first place.

The Revolving Door - Leaders quit attributing their success to talented performers at all levels of the organization. People tire of laboring in obscurity, and they move on to new opportunities. Leaders fail to patch the slow leak of talent leaving their teams, and they eventually sink from first place to the middle of the pack.

The Ego Issue - The ego issue trips up leaders who cannot face or admit failure. Since their identity is wrapped in their accomplishments, they do not take ownership of mistakes. To avoid taking responsibility for poor decisions, they may have remarkably high degrees of denial or self-deception. Out of touch, they cannot steer the ship to a first place finish.

Playing Not to Lose - Leaders become cautious and defensive of their perch at the top. They begin to be motivated by fear rather than purpose. Instead of playing to win, they play not to lose. Risk averse and small-minded, they are deficient of the boldness and courage necessary to command a first place team.

How To Handle A Bad Boss

I am a big believer that everything rises and falls on leadership. I am also a believer that we are all leaders because we are all influencing someone. We are either influencing them positively or negatively.

Most people think about leadership in a work context. While leadership is important in all areas of our lives, I want to talk about it at work for a moment.

Hopefully, you have a heart that wants to lead from a Biblical standpoint--the way Jesus, Moses, Joseph, Paul and other great leaders led (To learn more about this, go here). I understand we all fall down and that is to be expected. However, if your heart is in the right place, that is what matters.

However, how do you handle someone who is not this way? What if they are your boss, and they're a really bad boss? I came across an article by Dimitri Ly that I think you'll find interesting. It contains some good advice on how to handle a difficult boss. I hope you enjoy!

Quotes

I am a fan of quotes. Have been for a long time. In fact, I actually have a file folder full of them. Whenever I see one I like, I cut it out and put it there.

I received these in an email recently that I thought were very good. I hope you enjoy!

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.-Paul Boese

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.-Pericles

When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present…we experience heaven on earth.-Sarah Breathnach

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day, saying…“I will try again tomorrow.”-Unknown

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.-Chinese Proverb

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.-Henry Ford

Burn brightly without burning out.-Richard Biggs

Laughter is an instant vacation.-Milton Berle

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.-Benjamin Franklin

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.-Mother Teresa

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.-Albert Schweitzer

Wrong turns are as important as right turns. More important sometimes.-Richard Bach

Change always comes bearing gifts.-Price Pritchett

Priorities

I am a former athlete. As a result, I like to win and in fact I might be a little too competitive at times. Most athletes I know are this way.

However, last night I heard something that was pretty cool from a premier athlete in his prime. Jon Kitna, the quarterback for the Detroit Lions was the speaker at the Fellowship of Christian Athletes dinner last night in Toledo.

I learned that he is only one of 10 quarterbacks in the history of the NFL to have thrown for over 4,000 yards two seasons in a row - pretty elite company. Yet, he was very humble and he delivered a great message.

Before his talk, the MC for the evening asked him some questions. One question had to do with his most memorable season. He said that was easy, it was during his time with the Cincinnati Bengals when they went 3-13. He said that even though it was a very frustrating year on the field, he saw lives changed. 18 people from that team along with family members dedicated their lives to Christ that season and he watched as all 18 were baptized. He said that was the most fulfilling season for that reason.

Wow! Here is a guy who has life in perspective. I needed to hear that last night.

Encouragement

Last night in our home group through our church we discussed encouragement. We are instructed to encourage others frequently in the Bible.

During our study last night, I learned that we can encourage others in a lot of ways including:

- Listening to them
- Just being there for them
- Saying nice things to them
- Smiling at them
- Laughing with them
- A hug

We even discovered that the way we handle our struggles can be an encouragement to others.

All of these things have one thing in common, they all show love for others. And isn’t that what Jesus commands us to do?

So who are you going to encourage today and how will you do it?

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

God Was In The House!

Wow! Yesterday's prayer breakfast went great thanks to the incredible team who helped to put the event together. We had a packed house - the event was sold out and God was definitely present!

The team put together an amazing 3 minute video about God and the fact that His work in the Toledo area is not done - the best is yet to come. You can view that here.

Al Caperna and Jody Alexander shared some inspiring scripture verses and prayer about the 7 mountains of influence in our society that was very powerful.

Ray Hilbert (pictured above) from Truth At Work tied it all together with some words of wisdom that all of us needed to hear about how our work, no matter what it is we do, has significant purpose. He shared that our feelings about work comes from our attitude. He said that if we had an attitude of gratitude, that could change our entire outlook.

So do you feel you HAVE to go to work or that you GET to go to work?

God also met and blessed me yesterday in some amazing ways. One way was through my part in the program. For the last 20 minutes or so, I had the opportunity to share my testimony and then the Gospel message. When talking about John the Baptist, I accidentally referred to him as Moses. When told of this after the event, I didn't believe that I had actually said that. But after confirming it with others, I was immediately humbled. It just proves once again that God can use us no matter how much we mess up!

Another way God met me was in a meeting I had with Ray Hilbert after the event where we just shared our lives with each other for a couple of hours. Every now and then I will meet someone who it seems like I have known forever - we really make a connection. This was one of those times. God really spoke to me through Ray and I am extremely grateful for that!

People On The Bus

Jim Collins writes in his best-selling book, Good to Great, that great companies all do something when it comes to hiring people. Before they do anything, they make sure they have the "right people on the bus." He says they do this even before they know where the "bus" is going because they know that the success of the organization depends on having good people.

I have had a chance to witness this first-hand. I have been privileged to be able to serve as the chairman of the 19th annual Northwest Ohio National Day of Prayer Breakfast this year which happens tomorrow morning. It has truly been a great experience, probably because of the team that has been serving with me.

Yesterday I received an email from one of the team members telling me that I have been a good leader for this committee. I have to admit, that felt good. You see, I like praise (that is one of my big problems that I know God is working on in me). However, in this case, I really didn't feel like the praise was deserved.

I don't think I did much from a leadership perspective because the group was so good. I knew that if someone said they were going to do something, it would be done. They made my job easy. So any praise really needs to go to God for assembling such a neat group of people.

I have heard coaches in the college and pro ranks say, "Good players help me to be a good coach." Well that same thing holds true in any leadership position. This prayer breakfast experience has really shown me how truly important getting the right people on the bus is!

By the way, Ray Hilbert from Truth At Work is our featured speaker. I am looking forward to God doing some great things tomorrow!

Bad Boss Blues

This is comical and sad at the same time. Did you hear this? The state of Connecticut wants to make it illegal to be a bad boss. That's right. If you are a boss that bullies, you would be breaking the law.

This is comical for obvious reasons. It is sad because lawmakers even need to consider this. This type of behavior is very prevalent. I can attest to it (you can read more about my experience in my book, Bleedership, Biblical First-Aid for Leaders).

This is an excerpt from Hartford Business:

The Senate Democrats have reintroduced an “anti-bullying” bill this legislative session – SB 60 – that would make it illegal for bosses to bully their workers.

On the face of the proposal, it makes sense that bosses should not be allowed to abuse their workers, create a hostile and unpleasant work environment or one that causes physical or psychological harm to an employee.

There are bosses who scream and embarrass. There are bosses who e-mail subordinates at 2 a.m., sending angry communications with the letters all in caps and bolded in a scarlet red typeface.

There are bitter bosses who are angry at the world, unhappy with their own lives, and wrongfully take it out on their staff.

They denigrate their subordinates and inform them of all their faults – real or imagined – in front of an office filled with colleagues.

Bullies can ruin a day on the playground. They can ruin a day at work. That never changes. And of course, it shouldn’t be allowed.

Good places to work do not tolerate such behavior by staff or managers. It lowers morale, increases turnover and, consequently, hurts the bottom line.

However, to make bullying illegal in the workplace requires a definition that is not subject to perception.

Before laughing too hard at this, maybe we need to remove the plank from our own eyes (Matthew 7:3-5) and be the leaders God made us to be.

Forgiveness

Is there someone you work with who has done some things that have upset you? Are they "unforgivable?"

Maybe you need to take some of this:

Remember, forgiveness sets YOU free. The person you are holding a grudge against probably doesn't even know it. Unforgiveness only hurts you.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:14-15

Mentos & Coke

Have you ever put a Mentos candy into a bottle of Coke? I have not had this privilege, but I have heard there is quite a reaction.

1,500 students in Belgium recently broke a world record for the most done at the same time. Read more here.


This looks like a blast (no pun intended)!

It is very evident that something takes place when this sweet candy is dropped into the carbonated beverage.

Shouldn't that be the same with our Christianity when we are at work or anywhere in the world? Shouldn't it be obvious that something is taking place...or that there is something different about us?

Let's Morph

Last night we concluded a session at our church called The Life You Always Wanted which is a study based on the book by John Ortberg.

The study lasted six weeks and began by setting a goal for us to live a life of spiritual transformation. John Ortberg mentioned in a video that his son was a big Mighty Morphin Power Rangers fan and that they are a good role model for us as they used to say, "Let's morph!" He went on to say that that should be our battle cry as well.

A few days ago I talked about making Jesus famous in everything we do (see 26:8). That is really what spiritual transformation is all about. Many times when we think about spiritual transformation we think about the "big" things. However, last night we learned that this transformation needs to also happen in the little things. Ortberg shared this in the conclusion of our study last night:

Consider how we would do these things differently if we did them in Jesus' name:

• We could wake up in Jesus' name. When the alarm clock goes off, instead of thinking anxious or regretful thoughts we could rest in the assurance that God controls the day and sustains us!
• We could greet God first thing in the morning and invite Him to go through the day with us.
• We could greet people in Jesus' name. We could notice them, look right at them, and listen to them.
• We could drive in Jesus' name--if we dared!
• We could watch television and movies in Jesus' name, not watching so much that it begins to create a disordered heart.
• We could do chores in Jesus' name, offering them as gifts to God.
• We could view our coworkers in Jesus' name--considering them to be valuable people, praying for them, being genuinely interested in their lives and families.
• We could spend money in Jesus' name.

I think you get the idea...Let's morph!

One Bite at a Time

Yesterday I met with three other guys who each have their own business. We meet once per month as what we call a "Mastermind Group." This term comes form Napoleon Hill's book, Think and Grow Rich and involves like minded people coming together to make each other better.

Yesterday was my day to be on the "hot seat." The hot seat participant is to discuss the issues he is having in his business and to solicit ideas and feedback from the others. It is always very helpful.

During our meeting I presented some information about my Bleedership business/ministry and I received a lot of constructive ideas. On my way back to my office afterward, my head was spinning. I was really in angst about all of these ideas. I felt like I needed to implement them all right now, yet I didn't (and still don't) feel I had the time to do it. This feeling followed me for the rest of the day.

This morning I was thinking about that and how that really applies to me, and to all of us whenever we realize we need to make a change in our lives. We may feel like it is too difficult or will take too much time so we may never do it.

However, I believe God is telling me not to stress about it and to do what I can today and eventually it will be done. True for all of us!

I have heard it said that the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

Teamwork

Is your team ready to take off and reach new levels of success? If you are the leader, the answer to that question will be "yes" only if you are ready.

This short video will give you some great things to think about along these lines. I hope it blesses you in some way!

Compassion

As you know, I coach my son's 5th and 6th graded basketball team through our local YMCA. This is a travel league, where we play games at other Y's throughout our area. We are not very good and we get beat more than a drum.

Saturday was our last regular season game as our tournament begins tomorrow night. Once again, we were shellacked by a score that was something like 46-5. It seems that in every game we are totally out-classed when it comes to basketball ability and talent (and coaching skills too!). This can be somewhat demoralizing when it continually happens.

At the end of our game, a cool thing happened. The opposing coach came up to me and said, "You tell your team to keep their head up. Tell them we have played together as a team for two years and we are currently playing in three leagues. Tell them they are going to be fine."

A very classy and compassionate thing for him to say.

I passed this on to our team and I think it helped. I know I was encouraged.

He didn't need to say what he said. But he chose to be bigger than his ego. He chose to use the opportunity to build others up by showing compassion and understanding. A terrific example!

Seek First to Understand

In the home group my wife and I host, we are focusing on ways to build up our marriages. The study we are doing now deals with communication. I think just about every couple in our group agrees that communication is a major issue in their marriages--I know it is in my marriage.

One of the sessions we focused on was seeking first to understand before being understood. I first heard this from Stephen Covey in his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is a great concept that follows Biblical principles. If we can all do this with everyone we communicate with, imagine how much better our communication would be.

In addition to improving communication, doing this is a great way to show the love of Christ to others. Try it today, even where you work!

By the way, I think what is mentioned in the video may be going a little far in seeking to understand.